Hmmm? Poke or not to Poke? That is the question?

I'm not gonna poke!  

But, it's not a competition, right?

Quoted from PrussianMosby I understand your argument. The deduction I considered are in no contrast to my sympathy for the script. Feelings are more important to me than absolute strictness, what may be wrong in the eyes of others. As said, I understand your argument. That it is not going to be my only high score and that it probably has no slightest chance to "win" does not matter, we agree on this, right? It's a principle thing, right... So what consequence does such violation of parameters have in case of your assessment? Is it the lowest score no matter what?

It should simply be excluded from voting, as it's not eligible.

It's like a challenge of writing a script that completely takes place on a plane, and the writer has scenes in an airport, hotel, luxury resort, desert island, underwater, etc.

It doesn't meet the challenge, so it's out.

Rachel,

The font looks darker than standard Courier.  

There are two instances of female characters in Ned's delusion.

The narrator was chatty, started too early and told us things we had already figured out. Rod was always monotone, terse and late. However, once I got to the end of his narration, I was getting into it.

Confused by the sentence, "Small change in the console..." Would "Loose change" work better?

Ned was driving full out, likely one hand on the wheel, when he flipped the lightest coin in U.S. currency?

Hey, wait a minute. Are you making fun of males? Ned as every man?

I like that.

Gary

Quoted from Dreamscale It should simply be excluded from voting, as it's not eligible. It's like a challenge of writing a script that completely takes place on a plane, and the writer has scenes in an airport, hotel, luxury resort, desert island, underwater, etc. It doesn't meet the challenge, so it's out.

You didn't answer the question, bro. I may assume you generally don't vote on those scripts or vote poor or pass…

Still, I personally give a little margin to everyone (as the host obviously did as well )...
Should you use that margin? Probably not, because several others will have their justified reasons to say I don't accept that kind of overstepping the line.

I think there were also some scripts that miss their main genre parameters pretty completely. What about those?

But don't get me wrong, I truly understand and accept your position throughout.

Quoted from Dreamscale It should simply be excluded from voting, as it's not eligible. It's like a challenge of writing a script that completely takes place on a plane, and the writer has scenes in an airport, hotel, luxury resort, desert island, underwater, etc. It doesn't meet the challenge, so it's out.

Jeff,

I don't subscribe to that type of theory. Perhaps it loses points (not automatically to Poor, if it's an Excellent, despite that, but you get the idea) for breaking the rules, but I generally try to avoid DQing ideas. Somebody makes a mistake, but they actually didn't break the first rule (the first rule is to finish a script in a week) and they can be graded according to each individual's standards. Some things bother people more than others. Just one of those things, I suppose.

To each his own, of course, but for me, it's so clear and simple, I'm surprised some see this differently.

Prussian, I grade each script I open, but if it doesn't meet the parameters, it's either a pass of a poor, depending on the kind of grading we're using.

Sean, I see your point, but if something like was to place, you're going to have alot of pissed off writers who will say, "Fuck...I could have totally saved my entry, if I just completely didn't follow the challenge parameters".  And, that's not what you want happening.

Quoted from Dreamscale Sean, I see your point, but if something like was to place, you're going to have alot of pissed off writers who will say, "Fuck...I could have totally saved my entry, if I just completely didn't follow the challenge parameters".  And, that's not what you want happening.

Jeff, you're absolutely right. If this were a contest and something placed, despite not adhering to the rules, that might be irritating. But, these aren't contests, Jeff. They're friendly exercises to help people improve as writers. As a result, it's not exactly Earth-shattering if they stick to the letter of the law.

That said, sorry for derailing-ish the thread. Back to reviewing. =)

Narration could be more concise than this. Especially considering how short it is. Most times Rod Serling’s narration took up less time than this for a half-hour story.

I have to agree this broke the rules, and I'm not sure it really had to. But the bigger issue is I'm not sure of most things in this piece. The narration sets up one thing, then we’re brought to a completely different place and situation. I'll admit I was intrigued at what was going on, but the ending seemed like a bit of cheat. I feel like I could go to any random script in the challenge, lop off the last two pages and write a ‘he was crazy all along' and it would've been about as consistent or relevant as it was here. It just doesn't tie to the set up strongly enough. So this was a bit disappointing by the end.

Enjoyed the writing on this one, especially the bit where he is in the room with only a keyhole to look through. This part had me focused, was hoping it would lead to something good, but like others, I'm not really sure what is going on. I'm assuming he crashed his car and had severe head trauma due to that crash. So much so that he needs to be in a mental institution.

Not sure if this breaks the rules though, we never really see his wife in full form save for the pictures, other times we see only her boots or lips.

Well, this story starts off fine and I do like the narrator. I have a soft spot in my heart for TZ and I was settling in for a fun time with a Zonish story. Then it kind of fell apart. The back end of this threw me and I could never recover. I think there is a solid story here, but it needs to be more consistent with the first part. I'd veer away from the 'insanity' angle. An ambitious piece, for sure. Good luck if you decide to rewrite.

Thanks to all who took the time to read, comment, vote.

Yes, I did break the big rule.

Bear in mind I was one of the first to query Blondie if even a dead body could appear in the background.

Now bear in mind I'd given every indication I was entering as one of the female contingent.

If other females had in fact entered the challenge I would have pulled this. The story wasn't ready. The woman had to go.

However, there is such a thing as not letting the side down. And though all of us will agree that Ashlie can more than adequately hold her own on these boards, when Kham said her entry was not going to cut it, that was the clincher.

There needed to be at least two of us for solidarity, and also to cast doubt on who wrote what. This is an essential part of the anon challenge.

I made the decision to suck it up, complete with rough draft, stiletto heels and pregnant belly.

I think I did well with parts of my story, male dialogue, imagery etc.

For those of you who commented, (especially in a positive way) appreciated the writing, and story that was there and also voted, thank you.

Not a bad score considering... Not bad at all considering some of you declined to read, comment, vote, and DQ'd it.

For those of you who got a bit heated over this, there's a mug at stake, not $5000. Even then, c'mon,  I wouldn't have accepted it.

Roll on the next OWC. I want me a mug.  

Quoted from LC Thanks to all who took the time to read, comment, vote. Yes, I did break the big rule. Bear in mind I was one of the first to query Blondie if even a dead body could appear in the background. Now bear in mind I'd given every indication I was entering as one of the female contingent. If other females had in fact entered the challenge I would have pulled this. The story wasn't ready. The woman had to go. However, there is such a thing as not letting the side down. And though all of us will agree that Ashlie can more than adequately hold her own on these boards, when Kham said her entry was not going to cut it, that was the clincher. There needed to be at least two of us for solidarity, and also to cast doubt on who wrote what. This is an essential part of the anon challenge. I made the decision to suck it up, complete with rough draft, stiletto heels and pregnant belly. I think I did well with parts of my story, male dialogue, imagery etc. For those of you who commented, (especially in a positive way) appreciated the writing, and story that was there and also voted, thank you. Not a bad score considering... Not bad at all considering some of you declined to read, comment, vote, and DQ'd it. For those of you who got a bit heated over this, there's a mug at stake, not $5000. Even then, c'mon,  I wouldn't have accepted it. Roll on the next OWC. I want me a mug.

Whoo! I am more than sure most people had assumed yours was mines and vice versa.

I am thrilled you did this OWC. As the only two females involved I think we did them proud.

(congrats on the belly) and for wearing stilettos....I wore earrings during mine..

Libby,
    Congrats on being pregnant!!  That's awesome.  I'm very happy for you.  You must be so excited.

Details, details...

No, not THOSE details....  I know what a dirty mind you have...

Dan

To quote Don (Ben Kingsley) in Sexy Beast:

Not this time, Gal. Not this time. Not this f***ing time. No. No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! Not this f***ing time! No f***ing way! No f***ing way, no f***ing way, no f***ing way! You've made me look a right...

He's protesting a bit more than me but...

Ashlie, Dan,  before this rumour takes off big time :

Nope. I am not up the duff, bun in the oven, whatever you want to call it.

Just shows one should not use poetic license in responses.

In my script the unseen female character is shown, pregnant in one scene, wearing stilettos in another.

Sorry for the confusion and apparently not making it crystal that this not what I meant literally.

Hold off on the booties and teddy bears for now folks.

** Oh, and yes, Ashlie, as the only two gals in the challenge we did ourselves proud. Thanks for being in the thick of it with me.

Quoted from LC To quote Don (Ben Kingsley) in Sexy Beast: Not this time, Gal. Not this time. Not this f***ing time. No. No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! Not this f***ing time! No f***ing way! No f***ing way, no f***ing way, no f***ing way! You've made me look a right... He's protesting a bit more than me but... Ashlie, Dan,  before this rumour takes off big time : Nope. I am not up the duff, bun in the oven, whatever you want to call it. Just shows one should not use poetic license in responses. In my script the unseen female character is shown, pregnant in one scene, wearing stilettos in another. Sorry for the confusion and apparently not making it crystal that this not what I meant literally. Hold off on the booties and teddy bears for now folks. ** Oh, and yes, Ashlie, as the only two gals in the challenge we did ourselves proud. Thanks for being in the thick of it with me.

See I knew it....that's why I used () I wasn't sure.