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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2017 One Week Challenge  ›  The January 2017 OWC Scripts Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    The January 2017 OWC Scripts  (currently 11400 views)
AnthonyCawood
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 7:14pm Report to Moderator
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Chill Jeff, sure people will get to them as usual...


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 11:15pm Report to Moderator
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It's not who will let me; It's who will stop me?

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1. Get upset.

2. Tell a friend who will be unconditionally supportive and say things like “That idiot” and will find a flaw in the criticism they can exaggerate to make you feel better.

3. Read it again and see if there is anything at all helpful in there, even the smallest point.

4. Decide that it is pointless for me to write anything ever again because I am obviously a hack and this person has found me out.

5. Read something nice that someone said about something I wrote once.

6. Tell myself that it’s just one opinion and might be right but also might be wrong or somewhere in between.

7. Write another thing.

8. And another.

9. Just show up and keep writing.

10. Repeat 7-9.
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LC
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 11:30pm Report to Moderator
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7-9 That's exactly what you do! You're a writer.

Ashlie, OWC's can be notoriously tough.. It's your first. Don't sweat it.

Anon can bring out the devil in some, along with the candour.



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Female Gaze
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 11:46pm Report to Moderator
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As much as I would love to be considered a tender sweet soul...this was actually from a writer who was talking about how she handled criticism.

I am feeling all kinds of feels but almost none of it has to do with my script. ( I actually have decided not to read any comments just yet)

But, I thought why not share this lovely list of distractors.

This OWC has shown me a lot. Stuff I was not prepared for and honestly stuff I was truly ignorant towards until now.

I can't wait until the week is up.
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CameronD
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 1:00am Report to Moderator
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Ashlie,

The contest is an awesome crash course in screenwriting. At first you'd think knocking out a ten page script in one week would be easy, but even ten pages is rough as hell. Developing a story, writing it well, and editing it all in seven short days leaves little room for polish.  It just goes to show how much work is involved in a full length screenplay.

What's valuable here isn't so much the final product but what you learn about you and how you approach the writing process combined with the anonymous critiques that follow. It's great practice and will help make your future scripts stronger. The OWC screenplay itself is more or less a consolation prize at the end of the day.

That said, I'm a bit embarrassed by my entry as I put in a lot of work into it but had to submit a hour before the deadline without a proper editing and shortchanged my idea. But that's a lesson learned in itself right there to always remember to put your best foot forward.  

That said, you did leave some positive comments on mine I saw so I thank you for that and glad you enjoyed it.


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DanC
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 2:38am Report to Moderator
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I would like to say something.

I sincerely apologize for my terrible story.  I won't give myself away, nor will I pull it.  I'm a big boy and can take big boy lumps.

However,  I will say this, I seem to be running into the same problem, so, I am looking for help.

I keep reading that my slugs suck.  I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.  I mean isn't

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT all you need?  

I also ran into a software glitch that I'd never have spotted if it wasn't for a reviewer, so, thanks for that.

But, now for the big ask.

This is like the third or 4th time this has happened.  Actually, every single freaking time, but the first.  I've had to cut soooooo much out of the script that I'm left with garbage.  

The story that I had in my mind might have worked if I had an extra 6 pages.  But, obviously, I didn't have those 6 pages.

So, how do you guys write for a short of this, well, short magnitude?  Do you shoot for a simple idea?  Do you map it out to see where you will come in?  I'd like to actually write one of these that I'm not embarassed about.

I knew my topic would be hard, again, won't give that up, but, it turned out so much worse than I expected.  So, I'd like help to get better for these types of events.  I think stuff like this is important because an interview might ask for something on the spot and give me a day or 2 to do it, or come up with the pitch and I need to be better at this type of contest/event.  What I envisioned was cut so badly that it looked nothing like my idea.

I can understand how the people of faceoff go wrong.  For those who don't know, it's a TV show about a group of upcoming makeup artists for film who are in a contest to win money and prizes.  I watch them spend a week on something that clearly looks terrible and then they can't pull it out.  My idea didn't look awful, until I cut half of it.  How do you tell when a story is too complex for the page limit, or simply isn't doable?

And anyone who says the Order of the Crappy Mug isn't a contest is lying.  Some of us would sell our own parents for one.  By the way, I have a mom I can toss in...

Just sayin'

Thanks again...

Oh, Blonde, you had said that anyone can run one of these?  What's expected?

I had one idea that would be a lot of fun.  Recreate and rewrite a cartoon from your childhood as if it were done today.  So, for me, if you were in the 60s HR Pufnstuf or the Herculoids would be a blast.

Any event, looking for good advice either here, or pm.

Thanks and again,
sorry for the big pile of heaping crap I submitted.

Dan Campisi


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 3:19am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
As much as I would love to be considered a tender sweet soul...this was actually from a writer who was talking about how she handled criticism.

I am feeling all kinds of feels but almost none of it has to do with my script. ( I actually have decided not to read any comments just yet)

But, I thought why not share this lovely list of distractors.

This OWC has shown me a lot. Stuff I was not prepared for and honestly stuff I was truly ignorant towards until now.

I can't wait until the week is up.


I'd like to hear more.

What have you seen?
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PrussianMosby
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 3:42am Report to Moderator
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Dan,

I give you some advice that might help in case of how to serve better with regards to the script length.

Before you start writing you definitely should have a story ending. It's not important if you use that ending in process. It more serves you as a frame; a pattern for orientation and it also helps to see the clear goal concerning the length guideline.  

I also would say that you could draw out the 3 act structure.

Set up – confrontation – resolution.

Structure is discipline. And if you realize you got 8 pages of set up, your habits should set off alarm that it does not work that way,
and make you realize that no matter how great those pages are, you will not be able to get the story across properly.

I think structure is the cold beast which comes first. When you got a vague structure, you can start put some life into it.

If you frequently run out of space I definitely would try to structure things before you start writing.

However, that's how I generally do it. At some point it went over to routine.

To add a general point on length - sometimes I miss the quality, also from myself, to write a great short short script. By nature a short should express much with few words, but we all tend to stretch things to the 12 page limit. Perhaps it would help you to write a simple 4-6 pages script: One scene setup, one scene confrontation, one scene resolution




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MarkRenshaw
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 4:29am Report to Moderator
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Dan,

Think of a slugline as an opportunity to describe your scene in a few words. Sure a House will do but it hardly helps to get an image of the house across to the reader. You then have to waste precious white space in the action telling us stuff you could cover quite adequately in the slugline.

Who's house is it? Is it the protagonist's? Then tell us, e.g. Dave's House. Is it in poor condition, rundown, the walls cracked and in a bad need of repair? Well don't waste words in the action to tell us, use the slugline, e.g. Derelict House.

You can even spice it up a bit. A script I'm writing is set in a dystopian future. There's a scene where these zealots are praying at a wall covered in posters of famous celebrities from the 20th Century. My Slugline is , EXT. WALL OF THE NEW GODS - DAY. It makes it a bit sexier!

But don't force a slugline. Sometimes a house, really is just a house.

As for trying to cram a story into a short number of pages. Just strip it all back. Don't get tied up in formula too much, go back to basics. Does your story have a beginning, middle and end? If so you are most of the way there. All you need to do is get from the beginning to the middle and then the middle to the end in the shortest amount of steps possible.

Strip away all extraneous details. Your action should give the actors enough information on how to speak and move without telling them specifically. Your scene descriptions should set the scene as vividly as possible in the shortest number of words.

Sometimes a story is simply too big and too long to fit into 12 pages. Sometimes it really is. In that case you shouldn't force it simply because you want to use that idea. You need to put that idea aside to write another day and come up with another that you know you can fit into 12 pages.

It sometimes helps to remember that 1 page of a script usually equates to 1 minute of screentime. When running through a story in your head you need to be honest with yourself and say, "Can I really do this story justice in 12 minutes?"

I hope that helps.

-Mark


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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CameronD
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 9:57am Report to Moderator
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Mark is right about slugs. A house, or a street or a room is a very non descriptive setting. The more info or detail you can put into your setting's the better. Who's house? Is is a street corner, or intersection or sidewalk, or outside of a deli? A messy room maybe? Simple things like that help the reader visualize more.

Because this is a short story your plot must be able to fit with a three act structure. Think small. You couldn't do Star Wars for example right? So don't try. 10 pages is quite limiting but also liberating in the sense you literally don't have room for bullshit.  You still need a 3 act structure however.

And Dan I had the same though in that the OWC is very much like a final challenge in FaceOff of Top Chef which is cool and I love. It gets the creative juices flowing and really tests your ability. That said, too am a bit embarrassed by my entry in that I ran out of time to give it a good scrubbing before entry. But that's what happens when the clock is against you. Still fun and helpful all the same.


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jayrex
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 10:10am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC
...  I mean isn't

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT all you need?  

...


This seems fine to me.



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Grandma Bear
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 10:24am Report to Moderator
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INT. HOUSE - NIGHT is fine. If you use the interior of several houses write INT. DON'S HOUSE - NIGHT.

IMO, descriptions of the house should be in the following paragraph. Slugs are meant to tell us if we are inside or outside. What location the scene takes place and if it's day or night. Simple as that.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 10:26am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC
I keep reading that my slugs suck.  I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.  I mean isn't

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT all you need?

Oh, Blonde, you had said that anyone can run one of these?  What's expected?

I had one idea that would be a lot of fun.  Recreate and rewrite a cartoon from your childhood as if it were done today.  So, for me, if you were in the 60s HR Pufnstuf or the Herculoids would be a blast.


When it comes to slugs, it's a differing opinion sort of thing. When I do them, I keep it simple. If there's only one house in the entire script, I do "INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN/BEDROOM - DAY/NIGHT". It's always helpful to specify the room if you're using more than one. Then, you can add in the details in prose (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't). I don't like extraneous details.

As for what's expected, not much. Obviously, you'd want to get in touch with Don, touch base, then get your dates set up (about a week to build it up, a week for the contest--or however long it's going to be, a week or so to review, then the results). Sometimes for Don's sake, you let him in on the premise (although I'm fairly certain he likes to be surprised, like we all do). Then, you can mainly copy an old "The such-and-such-a-year One Week Challenge Topic Is..." post and update the dates on it so they coincide with your contest and update the information inside. Then, pretty much, keep an eye out in the threads, make sure nobody's burning the site down and have fun.

That paragraph makes it seem like there's a lot involved, but there really isn't.


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Grandma Bear
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 10:30am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


When it comes to slugs, it's a differing opinion sort of thing. When I do them, I keep it simple. If there's only one house in the entire script, I do "INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN/BEDROOM - DAY/NIGHT". It's always helpful to specify the room if you're using more than one.

Of course mention the specific room!!! Hello! Brain fart by me there.  


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eldave1
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 10:48am Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
The story that I had in my mind might have worked if I had an extra 6 pages.  But, obviously, I didn't have those 6 pages.


The best paradigm I ever read in this regards was start the scene is late as you can and get out of the scene as early as you can


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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