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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    April 2017 OWC  ›  For Honey or Gold - OWC Moderators: Grandma Bear
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  Author    For Honey or Gold - OWC  (currently 2498 views)
DanC
Posted: May 7th, 2017, 1:28am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Killing villains since 1980!

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I wanted to ask you how much research on the bees you really did?  I felt that the science wasn't exact.  Was I right?  I noticed a few others felt as I did...

Good job.
Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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khamanna
Posted: May 8th, 2017, 2:17pm Report to Moderator
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Hey, long time no see Jordan.

Yours was one of my favorites. And looks like a lot of people would agree with me.
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Nomad
Posted: May 9th, 2017, 11:16am Report to Moderator
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Dan,

Thanks for the read and the notes.

Most of the science is sound.

I took a few liberties with the organization of the bee hives, treating the group of boxes as one giant hive that the queen traveled from box to box.  In my world the contamination altered the behavior of the bees.

As far as the Terminator seed:  Cross pollination is used to genetically modify plants now.  Granted you can't cross pollinate a rose with a pine tree, but this is mad science were talking here and I just took it one step further and allowed part of the DNA to cross.  The part that made the plants sterile.

Non-flowering plants such as ferns and moss usually rely on other flowering plants and trees for their habitat.  If you remove the trees then the ferns won't grow.

At this point in the story, the seed vaults, such as the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, have been used up.  It wasn't known what was causing the plants to go sterile until it was almost too late.  I wanted to address this but it wasn't critical at this point in the story.  Perhaps I was wrong and should have dedicated some lines to this.

The billions of people who want in are dead.  This is one of the few remaining bastions of human life on the planet.  There are others around the world, mostly in cold climates where the bees don't live, such as Iceland where they use geothermal power to run their greenhouses.

The trees didn't survive.  Apple and orange trees use blossoms to pollinate.  Pine trees use pollen that is carried by the wind.  The only plants that don't use pollen use spores, but like I said earlier, those plants rely on the other plants to create a habitat in which they can live.

Most of our oxygen is produced by phytoplankton in the oceans.  I read an article that said it may produce 50% to 85% of the oxygen in the world.  I went with 85%.

One hole in the plot that I didn't address:  What are the bees eating to stay alive now?
I was going to have Jack come out with some sugar water and have the bees swarm him, but I didn't.  I ran out of time to go back and put that in.  
That...and FADE OUT.  What am I a noob?  Gosh! <---(Please read in the voice of Napoleon Dynamite)

I hope this address your concerns with the story.  I'm grateful for your time reading and commenting on it.

Jordan


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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Nomad
Posted: May 9th, 2017, 11:51am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Hey, long time no see Jordan.

Yours was one of my favorites. And looks like a lot of people would agree with me.


Hi, Khamanna!

It's been a while.

I've been lurking here in the shadows, popping on now and then to throw in my two cents.
I haven't been all that active because I keep having kids.  I just had a baby boy on April 10th, and apparently he's unable to feed himself or change his own diaper.  When did that become a new thing?

Also my birthday was on the 14th, the day the OWC started, and I guess nobody got my memo about not entering so I could win as my birthday present.
I'll have to check with Don to make sure my message got posted because obviously nobody got it.

I'm glad you liked my story.  Thanks for the read and comments.  Much appreciated.

Jordan


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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khamanna
Posted: May 9th, 2017, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
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Oh, wow, a baby! Congrats. ANd I remember you having one last year I think. Nice - more is better than less!
I get it about the birthday - see mine is on April 15th, so I was having the same thoughts. I thought it's a good omen - well, yeah, for Conz, not for me though.

Enjoy the babies!
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Nomad
Posted: May 9th, 2017, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
This is a good concept...



Quoted from Dreamscale
Easily the best...



Quoted from Dreamscale
...a 3 star script...



Quoted from Dreamscale
...an interesting little Apocalyptic tale we haven't seen before.


Thanks, Jeff.  You're too kind.

The zooming in is cheesy and if I do it over again, I have a nice visual of how I'd do it.

Personally I hate V.O. but it was either that or SUPER.  I went with the lesser of two evils.

"About" 1000 bee hives.  A grid of 30 x 30 is 900 boxes.  I can believe that.  It's not impossible.

I agree with your other comments so I won't try to defend them.

Thanks for the read.  I always appreciate your input.

Jordan


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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