This was a little mixed for me - some confusing lines and mistakes (which are forgivable in a OWC first draft), but I also found the storytelling to be quite captivating.

I really liked the slow burn nature of it, and the way the intensity ratcheted up towards the end. I’d like more answers than are provided - don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want everything explained and wrapped up in a nice neat bow, but as it is there are quite a number of unanswered questions the reader is left with.

Overall an enjoyable but flawed effort that definitely has the potential to be something really good.

Writer,

Interesting script. I get it you can write well, and even though this kind of dragged a little, it was never boring - it had me anticipating how it would end. Very good. Not crazy on the naming of Mister - felt strange, but I guess I understand. I think we're in for the Second Coming here? When there was a Hymn playing in the distance that's what I supposed. Anyway, ended on a confusing note - not really sure who Walker was, and why he'd come back with an axe vs. a rifle. But, I was willing to go along with your story, which is definitely one of the better ones I've read.

Steve

This is a very effective drama, the lack of explanation rings true as we come in after whatever the event is.

I'm not a fan of the name Mister, I'd have thought Lilah would have asked and established what his name is, so I'd switch that.

I like the idea of the cabin owner (or is he?) turning up, nice twist.

For me this was a very personal take on the aftermath, and I thought it was very well written.

Great job.

Had to Google what a cot was.

"His grabs at the rifle" ??? His what?

Quoted Text LILAH Canned tomato soup with canned beets and canned ravioli. MISTER That’s disgusting. LILAH Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

No, thanks. I'll take the ravioli only. Anyone up for pizza?

Quoted Text Lilah wanders partway down the hill, pausing every now and then to pick something up. MISTER If there’s something I can do, I’ll do it. The knife slides along the wood. MISTER If there’s something I can do, I’ll do it.

Repeated dialogue.

"Something on the wind." Win-d or w-eye-nd?

The only writer thus far who's capitalized Hell.

Fade to white. Wow. Pretty good script. Very contained. Excellent job.

Top of P4: lots of mystery, especially the two characters' relationship – not bad though just--

-- things need to accelerate soon… and also connect

P6 good tension, this story feels coherent

You keep me guessing and focus on characters well.

One thing that I didn't get till this point, and it stuck with me throughout: The way you introduced how Lilah met Mister. Felt like "Hi, so you're there too. Come into my place". Very off-beat and arbitrary.

The music angle didn't work with me. It wasn't developed clear and understandable.

don't get the ending- seems in this post-apocalyptic world, the living people are in a kind of post-religious mood as well, developing some new rites that they can/want to believe in.

Then there were parts (music, light) that truly suggest that a spiritual power does influence this world.  

So, lots of open threads for me, like, I'm not sure if Walker is a Zombie or kind of undead, you haven't described that. Who were the corpses behind the cabin, dangerous Walker-like characters?? And so on…

I feel that a lot of my interpretations here are incorrect what same time couldn't be my fault only, so work on more clearness.

All of what I've mentioned, does reflect my impression of the script: Amazing set-ups overall, good rhythm too –  but then the payoffs and final conclusions is where it lacks.  

Entertaining piece, just an unsatisfying ending/third act for me.

In general, the story feels like something that could make a cool short movie if balanced precisely once. Good script.

Nice script. Very good job. I have to agree with the folks who dislike the name of Mister.
Well Done.

Another demon in the title. Your logline intrigues me.

red-faced with yelling

All I could think of at the name Walker was a zombie from Walking Dead.

I'm confused at the ending and why Mister was with the girl. I'm confused with their relationship and I'm confused if really was Walker's cabin.

I'm sure there are some deeper messages here but I'd like to hear the writer weigh in.

Good job.

The Last Days of Demons - Apocalypse, Drama, Fantasy - Two strangers find refuge in a cabin as the world falls apart. But then the owner comes home. 

Rating: 2
Thoughts: Great conflict inherent in the premise.  Problem is that this premise has been done hundreds of times.

TITLE: Last Day Of Demons

STORY

Concept is fresh/and or original - 3

Theme is well executed/interweaved - 4

Stakes are clear/conflict is strong and or compelling - 3

Story - 4

Ending - 2

CHARACTER/DIALOGUE

Protagonist(s) is (are) likable and/or compelling - 3

Dialogue reads naturally/believable within this story - 4

Dialogue reveals character -  3

READABILITY

Action text "shows" instead of "tells" - 4

Overall readability - 4

Total: 3.4

this read so cool, but I didn't understand what's going on. Could you please explain? I'm curious because overall it was a very atmospheric and fun to read short. I was in it, didn't get what's going on, but still you kept me glued to the screen.
Please give some explanations behind it.