Well, this seemed like some of the script came from a 50s sitcom... but other bits were contemporary, I've a tin ear for comedy but a couple of bits made me smile.

My main problem with the narrative was that the twist(s) were too obvious and didn't surprise, I almost think that having the pizza guy been completely fine would have been funnier.

I won't mention page count, that seems to have been mentioned once or twice

But I do think this could have been tightened a little.

It's the first script I had to skim. In all fairness, I probably skimmed two pages of material.  So, for me the page count was perfect. If Steve is right and this is a pisser, nice job.

If not, dialogue was clearly disingenuous and it seemed like this entire script was purposely made to be one big fart joke. Being a YA, maybe it would work. My three year old boy loves fart jokes. Good news is I was able to find some enjoyment in reading it. The same enjoyment you get out of watching really bad Kung fu movies.

Cut out anything that doesn't move the plot forward and your script will be a lot easier to get through.

Dave F

Hmmm is this a pisser?

Lots of typos. Weird one liners.

Way over page limit. Next owc I want to suggest 5 - 7 page count. PLEASE.

This one wasn't for me. Sorry. Good for completing.

Page count will influence my voting later …

P10 is overwritten – Rachel's dialogue at the top of the page, exactly at this point, I felt it's wrong, just too much.
And anyway, there's a lot explanation on this page which could need cut and polishing.

Otherwise, I buy that whole stuff so far and I'm not sure if that's a good thing about me from a mental point of view. The script is so deliberately different and borderline wacko -- however it delivers such a precise tone, charm, and balance. It's very good imo. Very good.

P12 lol and it continues: "The Zombies are at our door already" Hahahaha. The constant on the nose dialogue hits me so hard.

That said, the last punchline should be rethought.

For sure, those are fictive comedy characters, no real people, but whatever, everything within your script works precisely for the overall concept. This vision of madness and stupidity, if I may call it so, is self-determined and specific. Full on risk. Impressive work of you, writer!

Lots of typos, grammar, and punctuation issues. I called both twists early on, but still loved the story. The "repopulation" by screwing the mom threw me for a loop, but(t) the fart joke was hilarious! Do they ever get old?

You went way over the page limit, but dammit, it was worth it.

I'm gonna give you high marks just off the strength of the story.

P.S. The only Ballroom Blitz I know is the song.

Pranks For Nothing - Apocalypse, Comedy, YA - A teenager tackles his little brother's pranks. April Fools anyone? 

Rating: 1
Thoughts: Do his pranks exist in the physical realm?  How do you tackle a prank?

TITLE: Pranks For Nothing

STORY

Concept is fresh/and or original - 3

Theme is well executed/interweaved - 3

Stakes are clear/conflict is strong and or compelling - 2

Story - 2

Ending - 1

CHARACTER/DIALOGUE

Protagonist(s) is (are) likable and/or compelling - 2

Dialogue reads naturally/believable within this story - 1

Dialogue reveals character -  1

READABILITY

Action text "shows" instead of "tells" - 3

Overall readability - 2

Total: 2.0

Hi guys thanks for the reads and reviews - special hi fives to Prussian, Chris B and a couple of others who 'got' what I was trying to achieve here lol! sincere apologies again for going over the page limit - I tried to cut more but didn't want to sacrifice any more of the  feel of the script. Cheers to Don for still allowing it, you're a legend, mate! Also I didn't have time to edit properly as it was finished right on deadline so there were some typos still in there - this was also due to using cutiepdf for the first time as my computer is too old now to produce readable Adobe ones lol

Vague influence of Shaun of the Dead for this, with all this crazy shit going down but a feeling of 'normalcy' happening with this oddball family. the father, Mike, is based pretty muc on Bryan Cranston's character in Malcolm in The Middle; Rachel the mom is, well, just a happy, quirky lady, who loves a prank as well.

The script did come out pretty much exactly as i planned - I chose to downsize my usual fullblown comedy to make it more family friendly, and I deliberately kept it as low budget as possible so it could be easily filmed if anyone wanted to use it. I'm not a fan of the open themes of these OWC's as the best scripts have come in the past from tigh restrictions - any newbies out there should check out the October 2010 OWC for some the best work that's been written in my time here and all due to the parameters. the challenge for me was to write a script that could be filmed - zombie makeup people are a dime a dozen even here in Oz, and Youtube has all types of crowd footage that could be used, for a fee I guess lol.

Anyway that's it. I was happy with it. No apologies for the fart ending - I was in a hurry and when in doubt, use a fart as my old granny used to say lol.

Oh, and Chris B? Ballroom Blitz is one of the maps on the multiplayer of Battlefield 1 which my son and I play relentlessly. Best game ever almost!!  

I liked this one.  Loads of social commentary packed in those pages.  The fart ending was both tragic and haunting.

Indeed, this was my favorite entry, although I actually dislike long short scripts passionately.

You come across like a person with lots of self-irony, but , and I hate butts, if you'd instead push it all a bit, slightly, in direction of the cold bloody markets, and make your fun there, then I believe you can have your visions on screen.

I'm myself in the pitching area right now, day by day: you wouldn't believe how funny that is…all those idiots and I'm in the middle.

A little motivation speech

Quoted from PrussianMosby Indeed, this was my favorite entry, although I actually dislike long short scripts passionately. You come across like a person with lots of self-irony, but , and I hate butts, if you'd instead push it all a bit, slightly, in direction of the cold bloody markets, and make your fun there, then I believe you can have your visions on screen. I'm myself in the pitching area right now, day by day: you wouldn't believe how funny that is�all those idiots and I'm in the middle. A little motivation speech

Hey cheers Alex! Glad you liked it!  Its sort of ironic as in past OWC's, I've written 'better' scripts but you haven't really warmed to a lot of those lol! So I was surprised - and stoked - that you dug this one. All the best, mate

Oh and cheers Ryan. I really liked Microcosm by the way - it was the only one I gave an Excellent to so good job. And good to see the impact a fart can have...

Quoted from stevie Hey cheers Alex! Glad you liked it!  Its sort of ironic as in past OWC's, I've written 'better' scripts but you haven't really warmed to a lot of those lol!

Might be. Possibly it's due to the fact that you work very free and independently (what is more than fine).  And with that you confront a world that imo stands still a little when it comes to individual approaches and sight on things. It's all classified today. Of course now I need to see what I said about your foregone scripts

@ I personally don't think you wrote a better script before (just reread your exact comment). haha. And that's no insult... Pranks is top, just misplaced in this realm........