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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    October 2015 One Week Challenge  ›  A Gathering Of Legends - OWC
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  Author    A Gathering Of Legends - OWC  (currently 4240 views)
Don
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 11:02am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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A Gathering Of Legends by Lucy Westenra - Short, Horror - Three Internet buddies finally meet in person, only to confront an ancient evil.  - pdf, format


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 4:41pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Pisser.
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RKeller
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 5:39pm Report to Moderator
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Feels cliquish, as if it cracks wise with inside jokes, winks and nods.  Didn't make it through page 3.  If I got that wrong, please let me know after Halloween and I'll take another read.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 6:01pm Report to Moderator
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No attempt made at a serious story. It's not funny, and aimed toward an audience of only 3. I'm not one of those three, because my name isn't Jeff, Stevie or Ryan.

1 out of 10.
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bert
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 6:09pm Report to Moderator
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Buy the ticket, take the ride

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Yeah, just getting my comment in early to avoid bumping this later on.

I gave it 2 full, fair pages to grab me, but no.  

bert's grade:  Ungraded


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 6:54am Report to Moderator
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A simply scripts spoof/pisser. Sorry but no.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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ScenesUnwritten
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 12:00pm Report to Moderator
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Seemed like inside jokes I didn't get.

PROS: The dialogue about cricket while mayhem goes on the in background was pretty good.  I liked the setting of the bar.

CONS: Felt like I was missing something the entire time.  Dialogue during murder/mayhem goes on too long. You can cut the whole beginning about the plane and get right too it.
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 3:36pm Report to Moderator
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My opinions are just that, and have been known to be wrong!

Picky bits:-
1) Think it's a pisser.
2) Yes it's a pisser.
3) Legends???

Good bits:-
1) Did I mention it's a pisser

Rules
Well it's got a classic monster

Overall I thought this was well written enough, but didn't make me laugh and wasn't really in the spirit of the OWC.

Anthony


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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irish eyes
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 9:48pm Report to Moderator
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There`s too much blood in my alcohol

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This was well written and had comedy throughout, I think if the writer hadn't mentioned  3 SS members it might have been taken more seriously.

Although as always writing comedy in the OWC gives the reader the lazy review of 'Pisser' even if it's not.

There's actually a story and a setting to this script, it could have been trimmed down but it made me laugh out loud in some parts.  As you mentioned in the script... it had a Dusk till Dawn theme going on.
The introduction of a previous OWC monster was clever and it all came together in the end.
I enjoyed it and I think if peeps looks past the fact that it includes 3 SS members, there's a pretty good short here.

Mark


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Dreamscale
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 11:50pm Report to Moderator
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The good news...

I love pissers.

Any script with myself and Stevie in it is a good start.

Lots of funny lines and even a funny premise.

I actually did LOL numerous times.

The not so good news...

I don't talk like that...at all!

Lots...and I mean lots of missing apostrophes.

Scenes not remotely broken up correctly.

The bad news...

The Bunny Man?  Again?  Really?  Mate...ah man...

Which leads me to my grade of...

B
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Gum
Posted: October 26th, 2015, 12:55am Report to Moderator
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I get a kick out of the Bunny Man scripts eh. For a Sunday night this was some laugh out loud funny sh!t.

I got a kick out of the airline snippet as well, it was like a straight in your face 'Gaslighting' technique from the mainstream media.  Even bad rhetoric is funny when you're telling it like it is
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JonnyBoy
Posted: October 26th, 2015, 2:07pm Report to Moderator
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I did actually start to write a review of this, but then realised I was using time I should be giving to actual entries.

So in summary - I smiled a couple of times, and you clearly enjoyed writing it, but I wonder if Don should even post these entries when no attempt has been made to enter into the spirit of the challenge.


Guess who's back? Back again?

Revision History (1 edits)
JonnyBoy  -  October 31st, 2015, 4:21am
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: October 27th, 2015, 3:14pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


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I'll guess this is Bert's - I'm wise like that


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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IamGlenn
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 11:40am Report to Moderator
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:)

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I take it this is a pisser then. Didn't find anything funny here though. Not for me.


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Grandma Bear
Posted: October 30th, 2015, 10:31am Report to Moderator
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Read this one awhile ago, but didn't comment. I'm back though because even if I wasn't too crazy about it, I wanted you to know that I did read it. Every now and then, someone writes a script using members here at SS as their characters. Sometimes they are fabulous other times not. IMO, I think the key to writing a good one is to realy know these people. The more you know them, the better and funnier the script will be. It also helps to have as many members as possible mentioned, otherwise, like Dustin said, I wasn't in it so I didn't care.  


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