Doctor Steven Brule? Nice to see another fan, "ya dingus".

The dream sequence is just a confusing thing to tie all this together, not entirely sure what it means and what it's entailing. I'd clear that up. There's a lack of meat and actual story here that makes the read stilted. It's simple, which isn't bad, but there's not much to latch onto. A woman finds a garden shed full of dead bodies after her forced marriage -- done, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe there's a little more meaning in the original fairy tale, but I just don't see it here. Which is a shame, because I was really enjoying it up until the anti-climatic ending. It feels like pages are missing, both from the ending and from the actual story. A nice effort, but didn't quite hit the mark.

Notes:
Looks like you started out your script like mine.  You have a character speaking that hasn’t been introduced yet.  My thinking is that you might mention them in the description before they speak.  Like:

Elsie stares ahead, at the garden shed. Furrows her brow.  BARBE’s (40s), stern voice still rings in her head even though he’s not there.

I missed this in my script as well.  Easy fix though, but since you really don’t introduce this person until much later, you do need this before he speaks – even voice over.

A lot of passive writing (coming to a rest, heading to the shed).  On rewrite, look for all of these.  Then, we went into a dream sequence that I didn’t know we came out of.  I’m thinking that the dream sequence doesn’t go in the slug, and when it’s done we need to know that as well.  

Pg. 3 walk-in closet.

Pg. 5 Elsie, in panicked breaths, seems to calm.  Doesn’t read well.

And done.  Not sure about the BLACK SCREEN stuff.  I feel it’s not necessary.  Then you go from that to the keys in blood, so not sure that reads correctly.  I think I know how you’re wanting the shot to look like but we shouldn’t have to figure it out.  

Reading the original tale, this one doesn’t finish where the story goes.  Once the keys are found in blood, she reveals to her sister what she saw.  Then, the man discovers the keys and threatens to kill the wife and sister.  He is instead killed by brother-in-laws, etc.  

So, this needs rewrites and the story, including the ending, should be more clear.  Good luck with this one and congrats on getting an entry completed.

Met Challenge?: Yes, but not finished.
Horror: Yes, in the discovery of the room.
Overall: Once the story is complete, and passive writing fixed, could be better.  Pass.

I wasn't, and am still not sure what period this is set in, and seemed to have elements of Beauty and the Beast as well as Bluebeard... but...

I quite liked what there was here, but like some of the other comments I think there could have been more... perhaps a re-write and expansion would elevate this one.

Anthony

Some notes.

A bit of confusion on this one.  The flash forward seems a bit much but the horror is good enough.  Needs a bit more.

Best
Richard

Your FADE IN is right aligned with no colon? Bad start.

Bold slugs.

First paragraph is an orphan.

Another orphan.

I take it, from the dialogue, Barbe is Bluebeard?

Quoted Text [Elsie] keeps heading towards the shed.

This would have eliminated some of the confusion that other writers have noted.

Had to Google "palanquin."

So, like stereotypical tribal clothing?

"Sitar." Because it's a guitar-like instrument that has to be played SITTING down.

Quoted Text Elsie is carried, slowly, with great ritual, down a dirt path. At the end of the dirt path sits a WEDDING ARCH.

Merge these two paragraphs.

When does the flashback end? Try this:

Quoted Text BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE. EXT. FIELD - DAY

Then when the dream sequence is over...

Quoted Text END [OF] DREAM SEQUENCE.

...before the next slug, I'm guessing BLACK SCREEN.

You're going for that R rating, aren't you?

"Herself."

For these next few scenes, I think a full slug would work better.

They had fridges back then? What year is this?

A smiley. Must be very recent.

Help us out. What novel? Are we talking The Tale of Two Lovers, The Three Musketeers or... Fifty Shades of Grey?

Quoted Text a the

Pick one.

I'm on page 4 of 7; I think I can survive.

At this point, I'm speeding up my reading, not necessarily skimming. You've finally gotten to the good part.

"Fumbles with the keys.

Puts it in the lock."

Well, I read the whole thing and it picked up. Honestly, if you had scrapped everything before she went to the shed, you'd have a far better script.

Pass.

Challenge/Parameters: B
First half of story: C-/D+
Second half: B
Formatting/Technical: D
Overall: C-

Thanks everyone who read this! I'll respond to you all individually soon