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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    October 2K16 One Week Challenge  ›  My Prince - OWC
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: October 22nd, 2016, 9:00pm Report to Moderator
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I thought this was pretty well written and I was going with it until the mostly unexplained decision to go grab a frog... and then the frog transmutes... sorry but where did that come from?

Anyway, with more setup this could work, and I actually kinda liked the end (is that the Disney ending?)...

Reasonable effort


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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RichardR
Posted: October 25th, 2016, 7:31am Report to Moderator
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Some notes.

I found this one rather cute.  She manages to escape her lousy life, but I'm not convinced she got a better one.  Still, it's not a bad script.

Best
Richard
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ChrisBodily
Posted: October 25th, 2016, 6:49pm Report to Moderator
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Nice, clean read. AMAZING script!

It's remarkable what you were able to come up with in a week. Frog Man is an awesome antagonist.

If you expanded this (maybe as a feature), I'd love to see you do more with the parents, the mean girls and the prom. Say, have Leah turn into Frog Girl -- rather than both of them turning into full-fledged frogs. Then the mutant Frogpeople can get their bloody revenge at the prom, etc.

That said, I love it as is. Recommend. A+


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IamGlenn
Posted: October 31st, 2016, 6:40pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks to everyone for the feedback. This one was super rushed. Glad to see it worked for some, but can see why it didn't for others.


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