Had a few minutes today to read and chose this one since people seem to agree it's one of the best in this OWC.

I loved it! I hate creepy ass dolls of any kind! Clowns too, for that matter.

I haven't read the story or seen the film in decades, so I don't really remember it exactly. I just remember that his nose grew every time he lied. I thin you wrote it in such a way that the reading was enjoyable and easy. The story itself definitely horror. I could predict what was going to happen to the girls when the dog disapperaed, but I didn't see the final twist coming. Great job!  

Congratulations Mark! You had my vote - Great work. Very high 'Creep' factor.

Thanks everyone for the kind words and helpful feedback.

Biggest critique was the characters are one dimensional and lacking clear motives. Totally agree. As someone who always harps on character depth I didn't do a very good job here. Will definitely work on fleshing them out more.

With regards to motive in particular, I was going to have Geppetto talk about how much he and his wife had always wanted a son but I just ran out of space. Was hoping the fact that he only had daughters and seemed so happy to finally have a son would imply he'd always wanted a boy. Apparently not. I'll make that more clear.  

Personally, I wouldn't worry about your characters being 1 or 2 dimensional.  Peeps should be able to read into things more, and sometimes, like in this script, it really doesn't matter all that much.

You had 10 pages and you used your space wisely, for the most part. You had  some very nice visuals and ended up on a high note.

Easily the best of the bunch and I'm glad you got the vote you deserved.

Great job here!

What is a 1 dimensional character, Jeff?

Nice work, Mark. I could tell the issue was the 10 page limitation. I really liked it better when you could go up to 12. That would have helped you a lot.

But great job!

Quoted from leitskev What is a 1 dimensional character, Jeff?

A 1 dimensional character is a character that has 2 less dimensions than a 3 dimensional character.

They also have 1 less dimension than a 2 dimensional character.  

Quoted from leitskev Nice work, Mark. I could tell the issue was the 10 page limitation. I really liked it better when you could go up to 12. That would have helped you a lot.

Me too.  An extra page or 2 makes a big difference sometimes.

Quoted Text Definitely the best so far. And I think I might call it early and say that this might win it.

Called it on the second post.

Congrats, no one is more deserving.

Congratulations, James.

You definitely hit the genre best and presented a gruesome story. I thought about that "character topic" all along this OWC. But I must admit that I'm simply not into horror and have no real understanding of the genre's conventions. In the end, I think it's cool that a script "succeeded" that wasn't so much on drama and motivations, and rather kept it real to the true genre.

Hey, I'm also glad that someone received the most votes who deeply engaged in reviewing and having invested lots of time to help others.

Congrats.

After reading I can see why. I have the feeling to explain a bit more but screw that lol. Sometimes leaving things in mystery is better. Explanations will be overkill for this. What I would say though is find another of revealing the "his nose gets longer for telling a lie". It's kind of odd on how he gives that info out.

Congrats again.

Gabe

Hey James,
     Very well done.  I just read this now, and while the ending was kinda given in the title, it was still well executed.  

I enjoyed it and can see why it won.  I'm gonna read a few more.  Sorry I wasn't around to enter or read them when votes still mattered, but, I'm here now and can read a few.

Very well done!!

Dan