Writer, that's really good work right there.

It's as mad as all get up, but hey it made me smile. Zaine really comes across like a less sleazy Chris Tucker, from the Fifth Element, packed full of energy and exploding off the page. Couldn't spot any formatting/typos, the characters were well crafted and the pace utterly rampant.

The story has it's issues, but sure enjoyed it.  Read really fast and Zaine was a hoot.  Having him dial a particular 911 operator is very unbelievable, might rethink that.  With them both having "issues" Adam was more forthcoming, which felt forced to me.  With some work, this could be fun to watch with the right actors.  I liked it.  Good job.

Some notes.

Good job.  It meets the criteria, and it's entertaining.  I wish you had let Anna say something personal, but that's me.  And I wish you had made them lie.  Adam doesn't teach school.  Anna had the best childhood imaginable.  I love liars.

Best
Richard

I enjoyed this.
Great characters and dialogue between them and the pacing of the story was very good.

They were both trapped and so that works.
Well written, on of my favs

Good job on entering

Well...it's cute...that's for sure.  It's even funny in many places.

But, it's also almost all dialogue and after awhile, it gets a little dull.

Good idea, unique look at this challenge, and well written.  Obviously not meant to be taken seriously, but still something to think about, which is good.

Grade - B

Good job.

Writer,

Yeah! That was good! Steady flow, laughs, irony and a good closing line. Not much I'd like to add. Definitely one of the better entries, if not my favorite so far. Great work!

Steve

It's a comedy and it supposed to be over the top but some elements need work. As many have said, the 9-11 call is unbelievable - there's no way that call would have been guaranteed to be allocated to that specific operator. Besides, he chose to get in the cab, OK he wasn't happy about it but he got in anyway, there's no need for him to then call the cops over something he chose to do.

Secondly, these two are supposedly dead set against this blind date but Adam tells his whole life story within moments of meeting this girl. Only Anna reacts the way I'd expect and she quickly becomes annoying.

Thirdly - The cab speed dating concept is a great idea but just Zaine saying 'This part is the first date' or 'this part is the first dinner' and throwing some candles at them doesn't reflect the stages of a relationship nor does it bind the couple together in anyway.

The end, when he drives through the false wall, that's the key! First of all this should be tied into a relationship stage, e.g. the first argument or even a divorce, and second the whole cab ride should be like this. Each relationship stage should be reflected by something that actually happens with the journey, like when he swerves and forces them to bump into each other. Several incidents like that would breakdown the barriers between the two and stuff which would normally takes weeks of dating could happen in one cab ride.

For example, the first dinner date could be Zaine going through a drive-through for food but Adam has to order for Anna and vice-versa. You create a comedy situation which also forces them to go through various dating scenarios fast without having time to really think about it and therefore make the whole them falling in love aspect more believable and more interesting.  

It may seem like I've given this script a hard time but that's because it's really quite good and I think has loads of potential. I just want to give you some ideas for the next draft.

Entertaining and well written. It may not fall completely under the parameters of the challenge as they both choose to be in the cab, even though they are not very happy about it. They are not trapped. But still, a good story.

-Mark

Really nice work.
I agree with the others that the 911 call should go.
Other than that, congratulations.

Lol, outside of the 'SNL' Sprockets version, this rendition of The Dating Game is weird enough to be entertaining. Unfortunately, some of the self deprecating humour (from each contestant) landed head first.

As well, the 911 call seemed to be wedged in for maximum page count, and could easily be removed to speed along the Speed-0-Date, IMO. Other than that, I definitely thought this was a fun and imaginative take on the theme. Well done.

Well written and cute story.

I liked the characters. Anna made me smile. What a nice little girl (lol). Kind of reminded me of Wednesday Addams.
It was nice to see how the driver brought them together through the 3 stages.
They were trapped, so you met the challenge, and I think quite nicely in my book.

Good job and congrats.

Cindy

This was pretty funny, and very imaginative, but also fairly unrealistic.

I find myself wondering just what level of realism I should expect from a wacky comedy. I think the thing that bothers me most is how much these two revealed to each other despite being incredibly cynical and unreceptive. I wouldn't have said a quarter of what they did to each other and I'm not nearly as “dark” as they're portrayed. I really like the idea of these two forming a bond through their hatred of… well, everything. But I wonder if the story could get to that without having them reveal their dark histories in this rather forced way. Anytime they spoke on this stuff it didn't feel honest to the characters, and I think this would be a lot stronger and more consistent if you got them together without it.

Pretty good. The writer developed three distinct characters in 10 pages. The conversations felt awkward but that's okay since they're meant to be. The beginning 911 call set the tone for the script. The ending was good especially with Anna punching Zaine. I think the "I love you" could be replaced with a hungry kiss for a little less over the top ending.

If you pulled this off within one week, you are a goddamn miracle worker and I'm going to build a temple for you. If you claim to have pulled it off in less than that, I'm calling bullshit because I can't live with that kind of envy.

Seriously, man. That was amazing. It read like two pages. It was very enjoyable. The dialog certainly could use some tightening up. Make the exchanged lines sharper and stronger and wittier (If that even possible). Make the "drive through the wall" moment linger for a bit longer. Make Anna more responsive. I won't ask you to make her more open, just make her react more to Adam's stories and shares in a way that would reveal her owns. "... got the best food" was a brilliant line! More of it, is what I ask. Do all this and this short will be reaping rewards like a monkey in bananas storage room.

Well done.

The logline didn't grab me; I thought this would be another brainless romantic comedy (I usually hate that genre).

This was actually pretty funny. Loved these "unlikable" characters.

Dialogue needs trimming. A few commas needed. Not much else wrong with it.

Recommend. A-

A solid script, works OK for what I think you intend. For me, once Adam starts talking, the story runs a familiar route. I was hoping for a few detours. These two characters are cynical, maybe tired of trying to match up with the opposite sex as boring game players.

I wanted more verbal sparring, trading barbs but at the same time, finding out about one another. Maybe intellectually they challenge each other. Another thought is that instead of coming together because of some chemical reaction, they bond through a common goal — to escape.

Surprise is a good thing. Anna punching Zaine is a nice scene. Maybe such a move impresses Adam. Or inspires him to follow her lead.

I like the ending of 2A getting together. Just think you can get there in a less conventional manner. You're talented writer. Rework this because it will be worth your while. Good luck.