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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...     General Chat  ›  Dysgenesis (was Evanescence) released! Watch It! Moderators: bert
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  Author    Dysgenesis (was Evanescence) released! Watch It!  (currently 1344 views)
Don
Posted: February 6th, 2017, 10:36pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Great news from Dena: [Evanescence] was a short I started at SS and it evolved into this film [Dysgenesis]... I've been asked to turn it into a feature. They just released the short for public viewing.

DysGenesis started life as Evanescence and was featured on SimplyScripts some time ago.

Charlie and Amber struggle with heroin addiction and live in an abandoned home in the woods. When tragedy strikes, Amber just can't seem to let go of the past and move on... and Charlie is forced to make a hard decision.  


DYSGENESIS from David Flint on Vimeo.




- Don



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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 4:23am Report to Moderator
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Incredible location, well filmed and a nice atmosphere.

I found the story a little fractured. In the short it was hard to follow the characters development. I understood it intellectually, but emotionally it was too fragmented. I don't know how to explain it, really. They seem to be so many different people all at once, idealistic lovers, heroin addicts, normal people, delusional, violent...

There's no one throughline throughout that I could follow.

Good effort, though. Be interesting to see what the feature is like.
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LC
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 6:23am Report to Moderator
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Ooh, I wasn't expecting the shocking ending.

I was going to say something plot wise but I don't want spoil the viewing for others.

DF did some great work here. Great pro looking filming and the performances all round were top notch.

I imagine you'd be pretty proud of this one, Dena.

Big congrats! And, if you didn't see my comment on the other thread,  all the very best with the feature.


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jwent6688
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 7:36am Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Very nice looking film. You should be proud of this one. I agree with Rick that it was a bit tough to follow, especially being a film without much dialogue, but I enjoyed the dark tone of it. Best of luck with the feature.

James


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eldave1
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 11:02am Report to Moderator
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The very best of luck with this. Will be much interested in seeing the feature.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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leitskev
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 1:18pm Report to Moderator
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Very high quality work. I think in regard to Rick's comment, that might be kind of the larger point here...that each of us is so many different people at once. Or at least is capable of it. I know some people in the social work field, and that's one of the daily things that shocks them so much. No one fits any model perfectly. People that commit horrible acts are also capable of love and kindness and generosity, sometimes a moment later. I think this can be especially true in a story like this when it comes to young people. So these two kids are in love, and they are drug addicts. Somehow those two things are intrinsically linked. In a feature we would want to know more...did the addiction come first for both of them? Did one lead the other down that path? Is there love based solely on their drug habit? We don't need to know in the short. And one thing we've seen in the real world in recent years is that heroin addiction exists right within the world of normal people. So the line can be thin. As for delusion and violence, the delusion comes from the shock of the child dying, and the violence comes from frustration and love. Indeed at the end it's an act of love if I understood.

The feature will be a challenge, but for a short I thought this was very powerful and high quality!
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Pale Yellow
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
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Hey guys! Thanks for the comments. The short film came out a bit different from the script which is always the case but I was very happy with it in the long run.

To answer some questions or not to answer them maybe...this is a dark piece about addiction and fractured people, possibilities and coping with an alt reality brought on by shame and guilt. It's a deep piece for sure and it was meant to feel a bit fractured.

I'm not sure where I'm going with the feature. I've been studying different films. It's going to be tough to make it work but David is now in L.A. and wants to film this. He's scouted area in the Salton Sea and has already started casting even though we do not have a script yet. I started and got to page 20...then I melted into I'm not happy with this enough... so I stepped away nearly abandoning the opportunity but I'm back in the saddle now. I hope with the help of friends and other writers, I can get this thing at least to an indie-ish Netflix type property. Who knows. I may fail. Crossing fingers and calling the script fairies.

Thank you again to DON most of all for the site ...it is the only reason I even started writing and it's been my teacher through the years. I've got the scars to prove it. And I continue to learn here hoping to get a little better at the craft. It's hard.
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Grandma Bear
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 10:34pm Report to Moderator
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I think they did a great job, but I can see where it might be difficult to make a feature out of this.

How about the SS crowd tossing in suggestions?

I'll put my thinking cap on...bbl.  


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LC
Posted: February 7th, 2017, 10:39pm Report to Moderator
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Dena, check out Candy:  Australian film 2006

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_(2006_film)

Heath Ledger, Abbie Cornish, Geoffrey Rush.

A wonderfully bittersweet film, devastating, beautiful, along with great performances. Heath also does voice-over. God, what a voice. What an actor he was. What more could you want inspiration wise.

Watch, at the very least, clips on youtube.

Let us know how you get on, and Dena, feel free to email or PM me if you want an extra eye on the script.


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Pale Yellow
Posted: February 8th, 2017, 3:05pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you LC and Pia. I will def need some eyes on this and any suggestions are appreciated!
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Cameron
Posted: February 9th, 2017, 7:10pm Report to Moderator
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Exceptionally well put together, I was wincing away throughout it. Brutal, emotional and a really tough watch.

Good work pulling it together by all involved.

Is there a link anywhere to the original script? Would love to read it as a cross comparison.

Cam
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 10th, 2017, 10:40am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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That's awesome, Dena. Big congratulations. =)


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