Fair enough. It's a pretty common one.

Did you reply to them explaining that it didn't follow that paradigm, and explain why...or did you just forget about it?

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films Fair enough. It's a pretty common one. Did you reply to them explaining that it didn't follow that paradigm, and explain why...or did you just forget about it?

The latter - they said pass

I think asking for a beat sheet is okay. There used to be an agent here on the site (remember Babz?) scouting for scripts and she always requested a beat sheet. Not sure if she wanted any specific one though.

But the second guy... I read the script and its obvious that a sex scene would not fit the tone and overall structure. Sounds loke a self-proclaimed agent who knows a fee people but nothing about scripts. Sex scene in there at the beginning. Pfft. The scene with her nephew is perfect!

Not much you can do with that, then, if you're not someone who likes to stick to "standard" structure. Each company has their own style, you just have to find one where your story fits.


By the way...I checked out the version of the script that's on here. I have to say: I agree with the guy about the waking up incident.

It's a minor problem of characterisation. The opening sets up a very insightful, analytical character who overthinks things. She even talks in VO, so we get to see her thought process.

She goes from that character, and someone who deals with other people's psychological issues as a job, to someone who is suddenly irrationally scared of a noise. It's a very sudden, jarring change that comes out of the blue. It's not like you've set up a reluctance to watch a horror, because she has some unusual fear. She's just doing her thing, then she's instantly scared without warning.

It needs a better set up, in my opinion. You've skipped a couple of necessary parts. The first is the decision to watch a horror movie. She's flicking the channels...there's a horror.

"I don't like horrors". "Get a grip, you're a grown woman, a psychologist for Christ's sake, all horror films are representations of subconscious fears". Cut to her hiding behind a pillow, turning it off, and running away. Then she's in bed, still scared listening to things.

She tries to psychoanalyse herself again..."It's just an irrational fear, there's no-one out there trying to kill me" and convince herself she's just hearing things or whatever, then she hears it again...races out of bed and wakes the child.

Just my opinion, but these little subtle beats make all the difference to the gag.

Readers and audiences are very adept at picking up on slight problems in beats, they're just not always that expert at describing exactly what it is that's causing the feeling.

Quoted from eldave1 Not sure how I could attach a Director - i.e., how to get to them. I know they are on IMDB but the contact is typically through an Agency. You may be absolutely correct on Agents in general. I am experimenting in the outreach area at this time. I have decided to put down the writing pen (keyboard) for a few months and instead focus on outreach and am kind of doing it in all directions - everything from query letters to submitting to Amateur Friday.   I am finding that this part of "the hobby" is zero fun and very unrewarding - but thought it was time to get my toes wet.

Depending on the agent or manager, some will get to back to you, and some might even be interested. Figure out approximately how much it would cost to shoot your film, and then scales your requests accordingly. If you're below $1MM you can cast a wider net, and those lesser known but talented directors will be more inclined to get back to you.

A good query letter is essential, and is a one-sheet or pitch sheet. Get everything unique about your project onto one page.

And then, yes, be prepared for a barrage of no's and an even bigger deafening silence. You've now entered the marketing side of the business, and sales is a numbers game. Could take 3 months or 10 years, no one can say. But the ones that quit are the ones who don't get their project made.  

AJR

Honestly, I also agree with him about the sex scene.

You've set up that she's absolutely off men, but she's decided to go through with this idea of a sexorcism (very good stuff, btw)...but then we don't see her doing it.

There's such a lot of comedic potential in that scene..and such a lot of originality. Him being the victim of some seemingly crazed woman intent on using him only for sexorcise, her not knowing what the hell she's doing and making it up as she goes along and all the crazy things she could say. Gold. It's an odd omission, for me.

Dare I say it? I also have a little sympathy with the conflict issue! You've set up a very deep and profound sense of a woman so broken hearted that she's sworn off all men completely..but then one random idea from a friend (which probably also goes against her character as a counsellor), and a conscious thought she's not had sex for a while leads her to completely undo all that and jump in bed with a guy.

Just the idea of her physical need for sex leads her to completely resolve the conflict you established just prior to the meeting with the guy in the bar.

What's happening here is something I see in a lot of pre-pro stuff, and it happens to my own work as well. A certain premise is established, then the story goes off somewhere else. The story, or theme don't flow organically from one thing to the next. The idea you established up front was the difficulty of finding two soul mates. The natural action stemming from that would be someone dating a LOT of people and being dissatisfied with them all.

Is she trying to meet a new soul mate, or actually forget the soul mate? They're two different stories, and you abandoned the one you initially set up...the former...for the latter.

This is what he's picking up on. You've introduced a primary conflict and need: To find the second soulmate..but then not had any scenes dealing with it in the first twenty.

Then you've introduced a new conflict..a physical need for sex, and resolved it immediately.

Sorry, brother, just trying to help. The difference between a pass, and the next big hit can be very small.

It's a good script, btw. I wouldn't bother typing this if I thought it wasn't. It's very witty.

Quoted from ajr Depending on the agent or manager, some will get to back to you, and some might even be interested. Figure out approximately how much it would cost to shoot your film, and then scales your requests accordingly. If you're below $1MM you can cast a wider net, and those lesser known but talented directors will be more inclined to get back to you. A good query letter is essential, and is a one-sheet or pitch sheet. Get everything unique about your project onto one page. And then, yes, be prepared for a barrage of no's and an even bigger deafening silence. You've now entered the marketing side of the business, and sales is a numbers game. Could take 3 months or 10 years, no one can say. But the ones that quit are the ones who don't get their project made.   AJR

Thanks AJR - I had already pretty much assembled all of the packaging - Query Letter, One Page Pitch, Synopsis, etc. Appreciate the feedback.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films Honestly, I also agree with him about the sex scene. You've set up that she's absolutely off men, but she's decided to go through with this idea of a sexorcism (very good stuff, btw)...but then we don't see her doing it. There's such a lot of comedic potential in that scene..and such a lot of originality. Him being the victim of some seemingly crazed woman intent on using him only for sexorcise, her not knowing what the hell she's doing and making it up as she goes along and all the crazy things she could say. Gold. It's an odd omission, for me. Dare I say it? I also have a little sympathy with the conflict issue! You've set up a very deep and profound sense of a woman so broken hearted that she's sworn off all men completely..but then one random idea from a friend (which probably also goes against her character as a counsellor), and a conscious thought she's not had sex for a while leads her to completely undo all that and jump in bed with a guy. Just the idea of her physical need for sex leads her to completely resolve the conflict you established just prior to the meeting with the guy in the bar. What's happening here is something I see in a lot of pre-pro stuff, and it happens to my own work as well. A certain premise is established, then the story goes off somewhere else. The story, or theme don't flow organically from one thing to the next. The idea you established up front was the difficulty of finding two soul mates. The natural action stemming from that would be someone dating a LOT of people and being dissatisfied with them all. Is she trying to meet a new soul mate, or actually forget the soul mate? They're two different stories, and you abandoned the one you initially set up...the former...for the latter. This is what he's picking up on. You've introduced a primary conflict and need: To find the second soulmate..but then not had any scenes dealing with it in the first twenty. Then you've introduced a new conflict..a physical need for sex, and resolved it immediately. Sorry, brother, just trying to help. The difference between a pass, and the next big hit can be very small.

No problem, mate. I do appreciate the feedback - just don't agree with it all other than I like the idea of Emily clutching a pillow as she's watching - that's good for the tone. Doesn't really serve any purpose here to go into the nits of the why I disagree. But as always - I do appreciate all eyes on my work and thank you for that.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films It's a good script, btw. I wouldn't bother typing this if I thought it wasn't. It's very witty.

Thanks, mate.

I skimmed to the end: I notice that you've successfully managed to meld the two stories I mentioned together. Well done.

My revised opinion is that you need to state in the opening VO about her trying to Forget a Soul mate...not just find one.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films I skimmed to the end: I notice that you've successfully managed to meld the two stories I mentioned together. Well done. My revised opinion is that you need to state in the opening VO about her trying to Forget a Soul mate...not just find one.

Thanks again for the feedback. In terms of this note, Emily is not trying to forget her soulmate. Her view is that people are really only entitled to one, and she found hers and was content with that. That is the classical what are hero think she needs isn't really what she needs. George is the one that makes her rethink that along with how energetic she felt being engaged with someone again. In the original script there was a little bit more voice over that dealt with that. It's pretty well covered in her opening conversation with her sister Lauren so I trimmed it back from the voice over in the opening. I'll take another look at it. Thanks again

All of those reasons are not reasons to pass on a script. All of those reasons are easy fixes that can be rectified with a brief rewrite. How does this agent know what the director and producer will want from the script? It's his job to offer it to them, it's then their job to tell the writer how they believe it should be written.

And I'm sure Dave would be willing to make those changes was he being paid to do so... or maybe even if he was likely to be paid to do so... Not that I'm suggesting this is about money.

Wtf is an agent doing giving advice on a script they aren't going to invest any time in themselves?

I've never known an agent to pass on a script. They tend to pass on writers. Or rather, the present incarnation of a writer.

Seems this agent has taken on the job of a reader and passed on the first 10.

Dave,

I have absolutely zero experience with any of this so feel free to disregard this advice if you wish. Take the beat sheet note as something that someone may ask for in the future and create one just in case. Disregard the other notes about changing your script if you do not believe they will make it better. Dust yourself off and keep writing. You're a great writer. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep writing and success will inevitably find its way to you.

All the best,
Marty