Quoted from Felipe I think the only reason Blood Roots fails as the first 10 pages of a feature is because it sets up a character that wants to keep her powers hidden

My take on it was more based on the log-line - ' but in the process releases a force that even she cannot control.' so the bit in the institute, was in fact the 'true' setup for the story because her powers are now unleashed (under the 'pressures' she faced), and then we move onto how she cannot control them - that gets me wondering - and that makes me want to see where the story goes - and also - she's flawed, so I kind of want to see what happens to her and the kid (and Grannie).

The keeping her powers hidden is the conflict that will underlie the story - once it all gets out of control - she'll still be able to say 'I never wanted it this way' - that was my take on it & that was why it worked so well for me - IMO etc etc.

I wonder if Babz would read any of these beyond the first 10 pages.

All I know is I was thrilled to get past eight....including my own.
I feel my heart wasn't into mine as it should have been. I was getting the same vibe, however, from most of the other entries,
If half of them are expanded into the 7wk , we are all doomed.

Is everybody revealing themselves? Wondered if I should join the bandwagon or not...I'll wait for now.

Well done, Bill. Pagan Man was one of my faves. I think you did a good job with your protag, a very likeable character. Are you going to continue this for the 7WC?

Quoted from CoopBazinga Is everybody revealing themselves? Wondered if I should join the bandwagon or not...I'll wait for now. Well done, Bill. Pagan Man was one of my faves. I think you did a good job with your protag, a very likeable character. Are you going to continue this for the 7WC?

Yes i have exposed myself ...ooh the feeling of relief.

Steve, thanks for the feedback and your comments on Gus. Appreciated.

Yeah, i think i will take this into the 7WC and hopefully the feedback this week will really help. It would be my first feature so no doubt there will be many further lessons to follow.

However, i am embarking on major changes, inlcuding a transfer of the story to the UK, so its not just a case of picking up where i left off. Mind you i think you will find the intial scene is going to be similar.

When you are "outed" i am happy to discuss your script if of assistance. Will you take this forward to the 7WC?

The OWC has brought very mixed results so far. In my first go around, people liked the script, but thought it didn't fit the rules at all (that's true. I failed in that aspect). The second time, I failed completely but running out of time and pages and everyone hated it. This time, it was surprisingly positive, but I'm not thrilled with it, looking at it now. The dialogue is weak and the story rushed. One of these days, I'll do an OWC script I'm actually proud of.

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Yes i have exposed myself ...ooh the feeling of relief. Steve, thanks for the feedback and your comments on Gus. Appreciated. Yeah, i think i will take this into the 7WC and hopefully the feedback this week will really help. It would be my first feature so no doubt there will be many further lessons to follow. However, i am embarking on major changes, inlcuding a transfer of the story to the UK, so its not just a case of picking up where i left off. Mind you i think you will find the intial scene is going to be similar. When you are "outed" i am happy to discuss your script if of assistance. Will you take this forward to the 7WC?

I think it's a great idea to transfer the story to the UK.

Will I continue mine in the 7WC? Unlikely as the theme was out of my comfort zone but starting a new feature and completing it in 7 weeks is a daunting task. I have family over from the UK for 6 weeks from the 21st March, this will take up a lot of my time so the chances of me entering is unlikely. I'll try but will not make the same mistake as this OWC and rush it through late.

All assistance would be needed so thank you.

Quoted from CoopBazinga All assistance would be needed so thank you.

Nike says you should just do it. So do I.

I want to extend my OWC onto the 7WC... Not for myself, or those who enjoyed my OWC....
But for this:

Quoted from DarrenJamesSeeley I'm tempted to not even read this right at this moment. I don't care. I don't give a rat's tail. Yes, the OWCs are just that and there's nothing rewally etched in stone, but still...show some pride, a little respect. It comes across as being stupid. The script needs to rebound. I'm stunned how my SS peers just let that go. In fact, I'm more stunned at them than you for letting you pull that stunt. But some folks dig it...so I'll give it a chance. The script better nail this. Does it? The margins are off at the top. Strike two. Loads of grammar errors. Strike Three. You're out. Not funny...confined to the UN toliet. Seriously, this script rubbed me the wrong way and didn't stop. It almost screamed pisstake to me.

Yes... I wrote MITCH.

I`m glad you enjoyed it Darren.. a simple "didn`t work for me" would have been better... but whatever...
It screamed pisstake to you, because that`s exactly what it was... a pisstake on the political world... a pisstake on the U.N, a pisstake on the social network, a pisstake on witches and warlocks.
Sorry that your stunned about SS peers letting it go... maybe they have a sense of humor or saw exactly for what it was.... A pisstake!

I never claimed to be a great writer, because I`m not.... I do what I can and as comedy has no bells or whistles, that is how it should be taken.... You either like it or you don`t and those who didn`t like it left me comments on how to improve.

Ah well can`t wait to find out your script, I`m sure it`s the greatest OWC ever wrote...
By the way you spelled "toilet" wrong.

Mark

p.s  I don`t why I let your comments get to me,  maybe I`m just tired from my daughter`s 4 year old birthday party... The joys of parenthood.

Quoted from Felipe Nike says you should just do it. So do I.

I wasn't aware you worked as a rep for Nike, Felipe. Good job at getting some advertising in. I've never been one to follow sport's slogans, more beer really. In fact the only slogan I like to hear is "It's beer o'clock" especially on a Friday afternoon.

If I were advertising for my employer, I'd probably try to motivate you by telling you that in space, no one can hear you scream.

Quoted from irish eyes I want to extend my OWC onto the 7WC... Not for myself, or those who enjoyed my OWC.... But for this: Yes... I wrote MITCH. I`m glad you enjoyed it Darren.. a simple "didn`t work for me" would have been better... but whatever... It screamed pisstake to you, because that`s exactly what it was... a pisstake on the political world... a pisstake on the U.N, a pisstake on the social network, a pisstake on witches and warlocks. Sorry that your stunned about SS peers letting it go... maybe they have a sense of humor or saw exactly for what it was.... A pisstake! I never claimed to be a great writer, because I`m not.... I do what I can and as comedy has no bells or whistles, that is how it should be taken.... You either like it or you don`t and those who didn`t like it left me comments on how to improve. Ah well can`t wait to find out your script, I`m sure it`s the greatest OWC ever wrote... By the way you spelled "toilet" wrong. Mark p.s  I don`t why I let your comments get to me,  maybe I`m just tired from my daughter`s 4 year old birthday party... The joys of parenthood.

I loved Mitch!  I was laughing so hard.  Great stuff, but I said that in your thread.  Congrats on you daughter turning 4!!  My middle son just turned 12, so I can dig it!

Quoted from irish eyes I want to extend my OWC onto the 7WC... Not for myself, or those who enjoyed my OWC.... But for this: Yes... I wrote MITCH. I`m glad you enjoyed it Darren.. a simple "didn`t work for me" would have been better... but whatever... It screamed pisstake to you, because that`s exactly what it was... a pisstake on the political world... a pisstake on the U.N, a pisstake on the social network, a pisstake on witches and warlocks. Sorry that your stunned about SS peers letting it go... maybe they have a sense of humor or saw exactly for what it was.... A pisstake! I never claimed to be a great writer, because I`m not.... I do what I can and as comedy has no bells or whistles, that is how it should be taken.... You either like it or you don`t and those who didn`t like it left me comments on how to improve. Ah well can`t wait to find out your script, I`m sure it`s the greatest OWC ever wrote... By the way you spelled "toilet" wrong. Mark p.s  I don`t why I let your comments get to me,  maybe I`m just tired from my daughter`s 4 year old birthday party... The joys of parenthood.

Awesome.  Well done, Mark.

Quoted from Felipe If I were advertising for my employer, I'd probably try to motivate you by telling you that in space, no one can hear you scream.

Seems nobody hears me scream in my only bloody house, let alone space.

That was a great tagline though.

Quoted from irish eyes I want to extend my OWC onto the 7WC... Not for myself, or those who enjoyed my OWC.... But for this: Yes... I wrote MITCH. I`m glad you enjoyed it Darren.. a simple "didn`t work for me" would have been better... but whatever... It screamed pisstake to you, because that`s exactly what it was... a pisstake on the political world... a pisstake on the U.N, a pisstake on the social network, a pisstake on witches and warlocks. Sorry that your stunned about SS peers letting it go... maybe they have a sense of humor or saw exactly for what it was.... A pisstake! I never claimed to be a great writer, because I`m not.... I do what I can and as comedy has no bells or whistles, that is how it should be taken.... You either like it or you don`t and those who didn`t like it left me comments on how to improve. Ah well can`t wait to find out your script, I`m sure it`s the greatest OWC ever wrote... By the way you spelled "toilet" wrong. Mark p.s  I don`t why I let your comments get to me,  maybe I`m just tired from my daughter`s 4 year old birthday party... The joys of parenthood.

Yeah good job, Mark. I had mixed feelings about this one, some I liked, some I didn't. I have to be honest and say I didn't think it had the legs for a feature though. I would be very interested to see if you can pull it off and if I can be of any help, you know where I am...the pub.