Sorry, didn't get past the first page. Satire, I don't think, is the order of the day, and, this type I fear would not carry a feature.

Hey Paul

I often see you around the boards so I thought I'd take a look.

I have to admit, usually I wouldn't find a script with this sort of story-line funny, but I liked it.

The comedy isn't brilliant, but you had me chuckling away to myself during some parts. The reference to Madonna, Fleetwood Mac and Canada were quite funny.

Overall, a good read. No complaints, here.

Daniel

Thanks Dan.
I didn't think I would see this up on the portal again.  

My name is actually Mark.... This was my entry for the OWC and you are not supposed to reveal the name of who wrote what until all the voting is in... Paul Sheldon is the writer from the movie Misery that gets the crap beat out of him from Kathy Bates and also my wife calls me it whenever I sit down to write

Good to see you around and contributing
Ill try get a read at your scripts over the weekend

Mark

Quoted from irish eyes My name is actually Mark.... This was my entry for the OWC and you are not supposed to reveal the name of who wrote what until all the voting is in... Paul Sheldon is the writer from the movie Misery that gets the crap beat out of him from Kathy Bates and also my wife calls me it whenever I sit down to write

Oops! Honest mistake Mark. Funny thing is, I've seen you around the board before and I somehow knew your name was Mark...

Hey Mark, I finally found it!

This is right up my alley. I think it's very funny, at places laugh out loud funny.
The development - it was going nicely up until page 7 for me. As soon as the ladies appeared.
I think you have either to start with them or not have them at all. Structured this way - doesn't work for me. The story seems belong to them as soon as they appear - but it wasn't like that.
It may be a good fit for SNL or similar shows. A bit long for SNL perhaps.

I'm thinking it would be very good if you end it on the moment they reveal themselves - they are witches and warlocks. That way it would be just right. Up until that moment I was literally glued to the screen.

I didn't get why these don't work together - it's clearly bad warlocks against good witches thing, but from your script I got that all witches are supposedly good. Am I right - did I understand it correct.

Anyway, that minor thing (all witches being good, all warlocks bad) and the switch to the ladies are my two gripes.

One other thing - I couldn't understand the reference to Mitch, but I think it's because I'm international. Either that or my brain is really slow those days. I'll look through this thread, maybe there's an explanation.

Anyway, it's very funny. I really like it overall, wasn't a task to read it - went smoothly. I can see it on screen. Very nice parody, I think.

This was the OWC

Genre: Not Horror
Theme: "Witches in the 20th or 21st Century"

The first ten pages cannot end mid-scene.

Glad you enjoyed it... I've never done anything with it since... I've been working on my t.v series Loserville.

I was trying to fit everything into the 1st 10 pages... Set the scene and create the hero all in one... The sisters are the good witches and must save the world from the Warlocks and hopefully Madonna

Quoted from Khamanna One other thing - I couldn't understand the reference to Mitch, but I think it's because I'm international. Either that or my brain is really slow those days. I'll look through this thread, maybe there's an explanation.

Mitch is the unlikely hero that the sisters summoned up, the black guy in the corner to save the world from the Warlocks.

Thanks again Khamanna... If you have any ideas on furthering the script, i'm all ears.

Mark