Ray, can I use the following in a script with one little change I will show below:
Ray's Original:
I don't care about your typos. I don't care about your slugs. I don't care about weenie plot points a sensible conversation or three could rectify. I know I could have written any story of my own to bend three different directions at five different places creating umpteen permutations of the "final" product. And I extend that same courtesy to any of you. GL eveyone. I'll get back to you guys hopefully by Friday afternoon with a Valentine's Day Massacre-like posting of reviews in classic, excruciating Ray-style. |
Request to use:
EXT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A cozy living room with sprawling toys... A dinosaur, a transformer and something uniquely homemade... THE FOIL BOX ROCKET, colored with black marker to produce gadgetry and its name reads: S.S. GEMINI IV.
A Simply Scripter, MAJOR TOM, in an S.S. super astronaut suit that is made of old vacuum hoses and house discards Ghost Buster style.
Enters the box in his white space suite.
Once inside...
INT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, TOM'S BEDROOM
The interior of this box is actually a room, amazingly plush with a green lounger. It's the size of a typical child's bedroom, but with foil lined walls. Stuffed plush toys abound.
Major Tom straps himself into the lounger and commences
to put on his helmet.
FLASH:
INT. GROUND CONTROL ROOM
Blinding white room. Ground Control Man uniformed in blue and white, he shall be known as ERETZ. He scribbles notes on a pad and punches keys on a calculator.
INT. ALUMINUM BOX ROCKET, LIVING ROOM
Eretz blows a bubble of his gum.
ERETZ
I think it's good. Primary location
for rocket interior should be your bedroom.
MAJOR TOM
But I wanted to be inside the rocket.
ERETZ
Just pretend.
MAJOR TOM
Got anymore gum?
Eretz hands him a chunk.
INT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, TOM'S BEDROOM
Major Tom secures his helmet strap.
ERETZ (O.S.)
Ground Control to
Major Tom.
INT. GROUND CONTROL ROOM
Major Tom's voice exits through Eretz's silver speaker that is really only a cheese grater. Through the cheese grater:
MAJOR TOM (O.S.)
By the by and righty-oh. Confirmed and...
INT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, TOM'S BEDROOM
Major Tom grips the sides of the lounger.
MAJOR TOM
...ready for lift off.
INT. GROUND CONTROL ROOM
Eretz excitedly points his fingers to LIFT OFF BUTTON, on a Keurig coffee maker.
ERETZ
Three...
INT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, TOM'S BEDROOM
The tin foil room is now dark, but light spangles forth, colors rain from a disco ball that twirls
Eretz is now in this room, too. He flicks the light switch on and off rapidly.
MAJOR TOM
Allez! Allez! Get out, Eretz.
You're ruining it! You need to
be at controls!
Eretz
I am I am. See?
He flicks the light faster.
Major Tom jumps out of the lounger and attacks Eretz, wrestling him to the ground.
ERETZ
(laughing)
Ok, I give I give.
Eretz runs to his station outside the bedroom.
Major Tom gets back into position on the lounger, his eyes fasten on the sound:
ERETZ (O.S.)
Three...
Major Tom shakes his head.
MAJOR TOM
No wait!
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Eretz gives a "shucks now what".
ERETZ
What's the matter?
Through the grater...
MAJOR TOM (O.S.)
I'm scared.
INT. FOIL BOX ROCKET, TOM'S BEDROOM
Major Tom is stuck motionless in his lounger as he looks around trying to think.
ERETZ (O.S.)
You were alright earlier, what happened?
MAJOR TOM
I think I forgot something.
ERETZ (O.S.)
You don't NEED anything, remember?
Just your imagination.
Major Tom sighs, relieved.
MAJOR TOM
Phewf! Had this weird thought for a moment...
Never mind...
He braces.
MAJOR TOM
By the by and righty oh...
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Eretz begins his three twirls as the room blurs out of focus...
ERETZ
Three...
EXT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, LIVING ROOM
Eretz takes a Lik-M-Aid stick, dips it in the colored sugary pack and sucks.
ERETZ
Sorry, got distracted. One more time...
Three...
He takes hold of the foil box rocket and shakes it.
INT. CONTROL ROOM
But Eretz is also here into his second twirl the blur passes on...
ERETZ
Two...
INT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET SHIP, TOM'S BEDROOM
Major Tom scrunches his eyes closed.
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Eretz STOPS his twirl. Big excited smile! He takes his big hand...
There it goes... to push...
There's a tiny lit blue screen. READY TO BREW
The Keurig coffee pot button--
He presses it. BREWING. SCHLUUUP the coffee runs, girgling
into an S.S. coffee mug.
EXT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, LIVING ROOM
Still shaking the box rocket...
ERETZ
Pruuuuuurr.....rrrr
RAH! A real rocket's sound erupts from the Eretz's animated voice.
A real ROCKET SHIP TAKE OFF sound envelopes the room.
INT. ALUMINUM FOIL BOX ROCKET, TOM'S BEDROOM
RUMBLERAH.... And the interior of the rocket. Major Tom braces himself inside his lounger, clinging to the chair's arms.
And then...
EXT. MAJOR TOM'S HOUSE PORCH
In the dreamy moonlight, Major Tom, drops a toy PARACHUTE MAN off the top step.
It floats down, slow mo. He runs down to grab it. Eretz runs behind him.
They fall down on the moonlit grass, staring up at the moon.
ERETZ
What should happen after you leave the craft?
MAJOR TOM
I think I wind up hearing G-d.
ERETZ
What does he say?
RUFFLE OF CLOTHING as they're up and...
AT CHERRY TREE
Climbing it now... higher, higher... branches cross us, stars fly
at weird angles. Into more black until... the moon's light overtakes us
COMPLETELY WHITE SCREEN
G-D
I don't care about your typos.
I don't care about your slugs.
I don't care about weenie plot points a sensible conversation or three could rectify.
I know I could have written any story of my own to bend three different directions at five different places creating umpteen permutations of the "final" product. And I extend that same courtesy to any of you!
COMPLETELY BLACK SCREEN
HOLLOW ECHO SOUNDS.
ERETZ
Major words, Major Tom.
MAJOR TOM
Righty oh. Let's go get some SPITZ.
ERETZ
Me first!
SOUND OF RUNNING AWAY...
INT. ACROSS GRASS LAWN
FEET RUNNING... Rise up... once again...
Into the black.
FADE OUT: