I don't get why Senta is merely wounded at the neck by the rifle shot. If Locke truly hit her, wouldn't she be dead since a rifle is such a powerful weapon?
First page and I thought this could be great but then it went a strange route when the confrontation was delivered through the appearing dog and having Locke shooting out there. So, all in all, it's half and half for my taste: set-up and ending was good, the confrontation stage and its structure there not so. Still, good effort.

If you would have stuck to your logline... did the log come first or the story? I thought this would play out like the girl begged refuge... and instead of it being a safe house it was anything but! But instead she was just there and there was no reason stated to even be seeking refuge.

I could have liked the end but there is some confusion for me. First Senta said she saw a kid coming... the Priest said it was the devil and got out his gun. But then I guess he shot Senta instead because later he was carrying her dead bloody body with bullet holes in it? And then what happened? Did the Devil go into the dead body of the girl Senta?

I really liked the log. I would've liked this story if had stayed true to the concept. Twist is good at end...just needs to be more clear. Fine line between mystery and confusion.

Good job.

Regarding Pale's comment, I see my wrong interpretation here about thinking Senta's still alive.

Don't know how I came to that conclusion. Perhaps the whole dog part felt too erratic constructed for me, so that I haven't realized Locke carries, kisses and eventually f**** an actually dead body. That's crazy.

Of course this changes a lot in case of the whole context. Will add an extra point in hindight.

This didn't really get my attention. I'm not religious, but I know a lot of people who are and I'm sort of tired of these stories of pedophile priests. It feels very old hat, to me.

It was well written though. The subject matter just made me roll my eyes. Sorry.

Agree with a lot of what's been said previously.

I think the 2nd sentence in the log line gives much away. Also the questions I have are why Locke is not outed as some sort of crazy by the 'townsfolk' when he really doesn't appear to hide his crazy at all, and why Senta is there in the first place.

Also, never kill a dog in a movie. You can show pedophilia, necrophilia, Hotel Rwanda genocide - but if you kill a dog, people will come after you. Not sure why but it's true.

Like people are saying - It read awkwardly. It's a pretty sick short if you ask me. But you pushed the boundaries. I am torn as to whether I liked it or not. hmmmm,

Quoted from DustinBowcot Code A pair of diced earrings shiver from her ears. Nice. A decent story but a little too neatly tied up. It actually reminds me of a real story not long ago, where a 15-year-old girl was raped by a Muslim man in my city. After getting away from him, she flagged down a Muslim taxi driver who, after pretending to be helping her, drove her to a secluded spot and raped her himself.

Yeah, that might be the most awful thing I've ever heard. Remind me to never go to your city.

Moving on...

This story is just creepy but it doesn't go anywhere. The ending feels random. Also the dice aren't even dice. They're diced earrings which I'm not sure qualify.

The imagery was good but it wasn't clear where the story was going. Everything just happened.