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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Ark of the Aliens Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: August 23rd, 2014, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Ark of the Aliens by Robert Hosking - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Humanity faces extinction when a rogue planet of ancient aliens returns to Earth.  - pdf, format


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TonyDionisio
Posted: August 26th, 2014, 10:17pm Report to Moderator
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Damnit, get to the point!

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Hi Robert,

I have a problem with the logline... How can a rogue planet of ancient aliens return to earth? I can see a spaceship, but not a whole planet.

You open with a scene of aliens that nod and use facial expressions yet they are able to communicate telepathically. I think you should rewrite this,  come up with a more animated communication for a visual effect.

A lot of characters are introduced in the beginning. It's hard to connect with anyone as of page 20. Will go back if you are around  as the story idea seems interesting.

Gl

Tony
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Lex Zep
Posted: September 25th, 2014, 4:05am Report to Moderator
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I agree with TonyDioniso, except for this:

"How can a rogue planet of ancient aliens return to earth? I can see a spaceship, but not a whole planet"

Tony, it could be a planet (discovered or undiscovered) which has an orbit period very long and slow around the Earth. So the apsis (the most far point from Earth) could last thousands of years. Not all the planets got an orbit period like the Earth, or Mars, for example.
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LeeOConnor
Posted: January 20th, 2015, 2:22am Report to Moderator
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Hi Lex,

Unfortunately you are wrong on this occasion.  Planet x or Nibiru that exist in our solar system, orbits our sun every 3,600 years or so, and gets very close to earth. Because of the planet getting so close to ours, it causes our climate to changed dramatically, for example volcanic eruptions, huge tidal waves and not to mention the gravitation pull from planet x will affect the human race completely, our visions of each other will stretch and we will appear invisible as if we have entered the 5th dimension. Basically our planet world turn into a world wide apocalypse and would end very quickly.

So a planet shifting from its orbit in space will affect the whole solar system and in return will pull all kinds of crap in its direction, and in time will be swallowed by a black hole, then causing a  train wreck of destruction.
So from reading a bit of the script, I would suggest to make it a spaceship not a planet.

Lee
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TonyDionisio
Posted: January 20th, 2015, 6:23pm Report to Moderator
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Damnit, get to the point!

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Ah ha! I was right! Third time for everything! Lol
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