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Andretta (currently 5998 views) |
Don |
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 11:34am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16381 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Andretta by Sean Chipman (Mr. Blonde) - Action, Adventure - Upon arriving in the crime-ridden metropolis of Andretta, a revenge-driven vigilante puts himself in the middle of a four-sided gang war on the day the government declares their city a no man's land. 104 pages - pdf, format |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
Don - August 28th, 2013, 4:57pm | revised draft | | |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 11:50am |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Okay, before anyone decides to endure this, I should explain that there will be a lot of unresolved plotlines in here. This is part 1 of a trilogy I've designed. Just felt it was worth mentioning. Hope you enjoy it.
The best way I've been able to describe this scripts is, it's a mash-up of Escape From L.A., The Punisher (2004) and Yojimbo. Take from that what you will... Lol. |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
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Reply: 1 - 27 |
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Leegion |
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 12:20pm |
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LocationEngland Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.10 |
As a fellow "saga" writer myself, I enjoy not knowing everything in the first part of a trilogy/franchise. Gives you freedom to write however you want to. I like the sound of it by the logline. Definitely suits my reading material as I like fantasy-style action movies (not sure if this is fantasy, but Andretta sounds like a fantasy style city (even if the name is from Italy ). Will read, cover some notes and give you my impressions. I will start this later with a tasty beverage and snack. Lee |
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Reply: 2 - 27 |
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Dreamscale |
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 1:03pm |
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I'll read it, Sean. But not this weekend. |
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Reply: 3 - 27 |
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Leegion |
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 3:07pm |
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LocationEngland Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.10 |
I got 12 pages in thus far. Very good. Detail is excellent yet not too overwhelming. The action is nice, condensed and precise. I could learn a lot from this and I am enjoying it thoroughly.
No notes thus far. No mistakes at all. Everything is top notch here.
Lee |
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Reply: 4 - 27 |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 7:57pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Lee,
Glad you're liking it so far. Don't feel like you have to rush through it or anything.
Also, anyone who wants a return read, just let me know and send me a link, please, either in the thread or through a PM. |
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Reply: 5 - 27 |
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Leegion |
Posted: July 13th, 2013, 1:00pm |
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LocationEngland Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.10 |
I have some down time this weekend.
Too. Damn. Hot.
Will get a bit further in on this, as I am also reading several other scripts too. |
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Reply: 6 - 27 |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: July 13th, 2013, 1:16pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Lee,
Don't read any further. I don't want you to waste your time because I'm putting this through a major re-write. Just letting you know in advance. =)
-Sean |
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Reply: 7 - 27 |
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Leegion |
Posted: July 13th, 2013, 1:21pm |
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LocationEngland Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.10 |
Oh, okay. Well, once the re-write is done I'll give that a read instead.
Lee |
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Reply: 8 - 27 |
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NickSedario |
Posted: July 14th, 2013, 9:07am |
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Guest User
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Whether it be in rewrite mode or not, at a glance this script is tightly written - format-wise. I'll be interested in seeing the next version.
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Reply: 9 - 27 |
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Beckett |
Posted: July 19th, 2013, 11:53am |
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Hey Sean I think i will 'endure' this . i want to learn a thing or two about rewrites if that's alright. and judging from the comments this will be a good script to learn from anyway. |
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Reply: 10 - 27 |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: July 20th, 2013, 1:14pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Beckett,
Obviously, if you want to read it, by all means. I only put that up so people could read, if they wanted, the most recent version when it is eventually ready (probably in about two or three weeks). |
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Reply: 11 - 27 |
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NickSedario |
Posted: July 28th, 2013, 10:02am |
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Quoted from Dreamscale I'll read it, Sean. But not this weekend. |
Curious to hear your feedback on this one. |
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Reply: 12 - 27 |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: July 28th, 2013, 12:07pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
You know what? I changed my mind. If you guys want to read the script as is, go for it. My rewrite was to take out dialogue. The story itself wasn't going to change very much in this initial rewrite, so you wouldn't find much of a difference in the new one versus this one. If you do read it, what I said still stands. If you have something for me to read as well, either PM me or link it to me here. Either way works. =) |
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Reply: 13 - 27 |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: August 28th, 2013, 8:38pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Just putting it out there that the sort-of rewrite for Andretta is now active. I cut 13 pages out of it, mostly dialogue and some boring parts of the story. Hoping the rest of it works out for you. =) |
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Reply: 14 - 27 |
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