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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Nothing Else Matters Moderators: bert
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  Author    Nothing Else Matters  (currently 1313 views)
Don
Posted: July 4th, 2015, 9:44am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Nothing Else Matters by Jonanthony Etrio - Action, Adventure - A devoted father and husband teams up with an ex- Navy SEAL, to rescue Americans, including his wife and children, after their plane has been hi-jacked by terrorists. 102 pages - pdf, format


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TonyDionisio
Posted: July 5th, 2015, 1:34am Report to Moderator
Been Around


Damnit, get to the point!

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"INT. SINGLE FAMILY HOME (LOS ANGELES),LIVING ROOM-CONTINUOS 1"


First of all you  are spelling continuous incorrectly. How can your very first scene continue from something anyway?

Then you do a whole first scene with P. O. V. One mention is quite enough.

The logline has a few comma issues as well.

Looks like several punctuation issues in the dialog that you need to clean up. As is it is almost unreadable. If you are around we can talk more.

Gl

Tony
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vancety
Posted: July 6th, 2015, 10:04am Report to Moderator
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Sorry, I'm just scrolling through...

This screenplay is written with scene numbers. Are you going to produce this screenplay?


Title page

Your name must not be in CAPS.

COPYRIGHT info belongs on title page, NOT at the end of the screenplay.

This is written with scene numbers. Are you going to produce this screenplay?


Your Scene headings are all wrong.

Your paragraphs are too big; cut them up.

For me there is not too much dialog but the blocks are just too big.




Revision History (1 edits)
vancety  -  July 6th, 2015, 10:33am
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