As the title ask. How can I make my scripts more emotional? I'm asking because after reading the script for Whiplash, I feel that my script is not very well done and doesn't portray emotion as well as a professional script.

Think that is impossible to answer without context.

It's like asking how can I make my scripts funnier.

Quoted from eldave1 Think that is impossible to answer without context. It's like asking how can I make my scripts funnier.

Funnier is easy. You print the script on a rubber chicken  

On a more serious note, I saw this article recently. I'm not yet a professionally published scriptwriter, so I don't know how good/useful it is.

Hmm, the writer and screenplay for Whiplash was nominated for an Oscar. If you think that script isn't done very well or doesn't work on an emotional level then obviously that's your opinion, but many people believed differently.

Sometimes it's not what is specified in the words but in what they imply, the subtext etc. Remember also, the script is a blueprint. The cast and crew takes this to the next level when producing.

You've misread, Mark.

He's saying his own script isn't very good in comparison to Whiplash.

Ah, my bad!

Well, comparing yourself to the best is admirable but don't put yourself down if it doesn't reach that level yet. Just keep writing.

To answer the question:

Whiplash is a good starting point.

It's organised on fairly traditional lines. The linear, three act structure, or there or thereabouts.

That particular structure is designed for maximum emotional impact. It works by systematically moving the character towards a goal, then pulling the carpet from underneath him. For every positive, a negative...and the stakes both external and internal get bigger and bigger.

It is designed to give a main character a clear, recognisable goal and to keep putting increasingly difficult obstacles in their path...which once overcome gives a powerful emotional hit for the audience.


So, create a realistic, empathetic character...then throw the kitchen sink at him and force him to overcome his external, and internal problems.

The kid in Whiplash had a clear recognisable goal...to become a genius level drummer. The external goal represents the overcoming of all his internal weaknesses and his lack of belief in himself.

In the story he had to overcome superior competition, the lack of belief of his own family, his lesser social role in the family structure (his brother was the favourite and he was compared unfavourably to him), he had to sacrifice his love for his girlfriend to practice, survive a car crash (dark night of the soul), overcome betrayal (all is lost), overcome the constant antagonism of his mentor figure and prove him wrong, and ultimately turn his back on his father's world view (his father was a False Ally...he wanted him to fail to hide his own shortcomings).

Each time he succeeds, he is brought down to Earth and so on. In the end, against all odds, he succeeds. He has reached the point deep inside him where he has become himself, unified the pieces of his soul and thus overcome all exterior obstacles.

That is basically how these mythic structures work: They are the story of "How a man finds Happiness/God"...he has to go to the bottom and then rise up again. You merely replace the object of Happiness, or your own definition of God in the story.

To create the emotion you have to do all that, but especially make the GOAL, the Interior struggle an emotional one.

To use a cliched example: A Scientist must cure a disease=non emotional.
A scientist must  overcome his crippling self doubt to cure a disease to save the life of his young daughter=emotional.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films To answer the question: Whiplash is a good starting point. It's organised on fairly traditional lines. The linear, three act structure, or there or thereabouts. That particular structure is designed for maximum emotional impact. It works by systematically moving the character towards a goal, then pulling the carpet from underneath him. For every positive, a negative...and the stakes both external and internal get bigger and bigger. It is designed to give a main character a clear, recognisable goal and to keep putting increasingly difficult obstacles in their path...which once overcome gives a powerful emotional hit for the audience. So, create a realistic, empathetic character...then throw the kitchen sink at him and force him to overcome his external, and internal problems. The kid in Whiplash had a clear recognisable goal...to become a genius level drummer. The external goal represents the overcoming of all his internal weaknesses and his lack of belief in himself. In the story he had to overcome superior competition, the lack of belief of his own family, his lesser social role in the family structure (his brother was the favourite and he was compared unfavourably to him), he had to sacrifice his love for his girlfriend to practice, survive a car crash (dark night of the soul), overcome betrayal (all is lost), overcome the constant antagonism of his mentor figure and prove him wrong, and ultimately turn his back on his father's world view (his father was a False Ally...he wanted him to fail to hide his own shortcomings). Each time he succeeds, he is brought down to Earth and so on. In the end, against all odds, he succeeds. He has reached the point deep inside him where he has become himself, unified the pieces of his soul and thus overcome all exterior obstacles. That is basically how these mythic structures work: They are the story of "How a man finds Happiness/God"...he has to go to the bottom and then rise up again. You merely replace the object of Happiness, or your own definition of God in the story. To create the emotion you have to do all that, but especially make the GOAL, the Interior struggle an emotional one. To use a cliched example: A Scientist must cure a disease=non emotional. A scientist must  overcome his crippling self doubt to cure a disease to save the life of his young daughter=emotional.

Very well said

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films To answer the question: Whiplash is a good starting point. It's organized on fairly traditional lines. The linear, three-act structure, or there or thereabouts. That particular structure is designed for maximum emotional impact. It works by systematically moving the character towards a goal, then pulling the carpet from underneath him. For every positive, a negative...and the stakes both external and internal get bigger and bigger. It is designed to give the main character a clear, recognizable goal and to keep putting increasingly difficult obstacles in their path...which once overcome gives a powerful emotional hit for the audience. So, create a realistic, empathetic character...then throw the kitchen sink at him and force him to overcome his external and internal problems. The kid in Whiplash had a clear recognizable goal...to become a genius level drummer. The external goal represents the overcoming of all his internal weaknesses and his lack of belief in himself. In the story he had to overcome superior competition, the lack of belief of his own family, his lesser social role in the family structure (his brother was the favourite and he was compared unfavourably to him), he had to sacrifice his love for his girlfriend to practice, survive a car crash (dark night of the soul), overcome betrayal (all is lost), overcome the constant antagonism of his mentor figure and prove him wrong, and ultimately turn his back on his father's worldview (his father was a False Ally...he wanted him to fail to hide his own shortcomings). Each time he succeeds, he is brought down to Earth and so on. In the end, against all odds, he succeeds. He has reached the point deep inside him where he has become himself, unified the pieces of his soul and thus overcome all exterior obstacles. That is basically how these mythic structures work: They are the story of "How a man finds Happiness/God"...he has to go to the bottom and then rise up again. You merely replace the object of Happiness or your own definition of God in the story. To create the emotion you have to do all that, but especially make the GOAL, the Interior struggle an emotional one. To use a cliched example: A Scientist must cure a disease=non emotional. A scientist must overcome his crippling self-doubt to cure a disease to save the life of his young daughter=emotional.

This actually helps. Thank you.