You know, I saw the posts for this and for some reason had no interest in it. But I just watched it now, and I have to say I was pretty impressed.

Everyone did a good job with the voices, but most especially Satan. He did an outstanding job.

The visual looks pretty cool. Certainly enough to hold your interest as long as the script and the reading is good, which it generally was.

Only two minor criticisms could I come up with. At the beginning, when he walks in, she asks what he wants to drink. But this is a diner, why would she ask that? People go there to eat. Maybe she would ask that when he sits down. I think it is here just to set up the whiskey line, and that takes you out of the story a little.

Second, I was kind of hoping for a situation where one of the characters had to make some kind of a choice. Had something to overcome maybe. But I realize that might have been hard with a short story. The way the script is now is still good, and resolves things nice and neatly in the alloted time. So while more would have been cool, this was a good start.

And amazingly, the whole thing leaves a lasting image of that diner in one's mind, with those very characters. That's surprising to me. So you have something that will get more and more powerful as you master it, and as the software evolves.

Great work whoever was involved.

Thanks Kevin.  Glad you watched it.  You should check out the other episodes as well.

The music that everyone keeps mentioning is the end credits from the Beverly Hillbillies episode.  The public domain season had that music as the credits music, so I used it as background.

The static was used to disguise scene cuts where it was appropriate. So were the dirty cuts.  Because this caused lots of problems with Moviestorm I had to divide it into small scenes, 14 of them.

Have you guys done any comedy? That would really have potential. Look at the success of comedy cartoons. Tough to write I guess.

Quoted from leitskev Have you guys done any comedy? That would really have potential. Look at the success of comedy cartoons. Tough to write I guess.

Computer Girl
http://www.youtube.com/user/computergirltv#g/c/5BE06D4104FFF83E

The Dark
http://www.youtube.com/user/computergirltv#g/c/2F2A6C4C15B1A152

Just watched the first Computer Girl. Pretty clever. While I was watching it occurred to me what enormous challenge you have. Two of my favorite shows were cartoons, the Simpsons and Family Guy. But it takes some viewing to get into these characters and find them funny. I guess that is true of a regular sit come too, usually.

You guys did a good job. The only thing I can think that would help would be to somehow make the characters look humorous. Think Peter or Homer as inspiration. You may not be able to do that with that software. Or you may need an artist. I can tell you that you can hire artists online for this kind of stuff for very cheap money. I've done it before, but it was a while ago, so I forget the site. But it was a site for web development. There were forums for programmers and computer artists.

Very nice effort here though.

While I do agree with Jeff and Phil that the story seemed flat - and nothing against Cam's script - and it dragged a bit, I thought that the technical skill behind it was pretty amazing, even by Cornie's standards!

There was much more detail and stuff happening, espesh in the background sound, so it was more impressive, to me anyway. I liked the static and newscast, they gave it more oomph!

Thanks guys.  This one took me the longest of any of these videos.  I had to do it twice because the first time just wasn't working - artistically or technically.   So it's nice to get some positive feedback.

I'm a little surprised though that no one has mentioned Don's spectacular performance.  Thanks for being a part of it Don.

Up next is The Killing Gene.   That should be done relatively quickly especially since I have a bunch of time off work at the end of the month.

Then I finish up with a bang doing The Faceless.

And to ramp you guys up for season two here's a few videos from the other directors of The Dark 2.

Interesting little film MC. I've enjoyed these episodes you've created.

I think you did a very good job on the look of this one. Good location and character models.

I must admit that this wasn't my favourite script. It was exceedingly popular, but I personally felt it was one of the weakest of the bunch in terms of story...no offence to Cam. It was a very well written script and highly polished, but I felt the core story was as old as the Devil himself and more than a bit cliche.

Having said that I do think there were some choices you made that perhaps weakened what was there.

The first is the decision to use the handheld cam. It's an interesting tool, but it seemed unnecessary here and in my opinion slowed the film down.

It seemed weird that you introduced an extra character...the camerman...and didn't involve him in the story. He gets punched at one point, for no reason, but is never introduced and never plays any part in the story. His presence in the film makes little sense...particularly as the main character never addresses him despite apparently travelling with him.

A more traditional approach would seem to suit the story better...a much simpler film style with slow tracking shots, close ups of the characters as they emote would have worked better with the material in my opinion.

The camerman gets in the way of the story. For example...when Roach aks for the burger...we have to wait for a few seconds while the camerman can zoom out and pan to the cook. With an objective camera you could have had a quick shot of Roach and cut straight to the Cook answering him...saving time and increasing the fluidity of the story.

Another choice I didn't get was the decision to change the appearance of Satan...that seemed extraneous to the plot. Plus seeing him waving his arms around in the road was odd. Having him just stood there staring at the place would have been more effective. Maybe with his head bowed and his hat over his face, so you don't know he's not Suggs (or whatever he was called).

A general point is that there's quite a lot of fat that could be cut. The news report runs long, there's lot of lines that are unnecessary eg when Roach asks about the burger, the woman intercedes and then the Cook answers...you could have cut out the middle man there without losing anything...there's a few moments like that.

My other concern would be the ending with Satan taking the soul to hell. The laugh and the flames. The face of the dead serial killer is outstandingly realised and I don't think you needed to treat the material anything less than seriously. That face alone tells the story with everything that's gone before.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

You're developing your skills nicely, and this is a further step on that road, but I think as a story this missed the mark a little.

Still, great job overall.

Rick.

I hope Rick doesn't read this, but I read his suggestions, and you should follow every single one in this case. It definitely would improve this immensely.

One thing I was ok with that people seemed to have some trouble with was the tv report. I thought that was necessary to the story, but it also...I don't know if this will make sense...drew me further into the diner. I know this sounds crazy, but before, I was an outsider watching a skit in a diner. But the way the report comes on, and then we zoom in on the tv from within the diner, had the effect of drawing me into the diner itself. From then on, I was in the diner with the other characters. Does that make any sense?

You absolutely should keep developing this skill. As you perfect it, and as the software improves, you will have something that has the potential to become viable to a wider audience, and if your wanted, has commercial value.

Rick,

You're confusing this with something that has the flexibility of live action.  It doesn't.  It's limited.  

My first try at this was seriously - it wasn't going to work - not in Moviestorm - not with the assets I had.  The stuff I added I added to increase visual interest.  Otherwise this script is just a bunch of people sitting around talking for ten minutes and frankly that was really boring - no offence Cam.

Perhaps if the actors were live and you were able to catch nuances of performance it would have been more interesting done straight.

I agree that cramming the extra character in there without an explanation was a bit odd and I would have liked the assets to have him more explained.  But I didn't have them and I wasn't going to make this video my life's work.  It already has taken four plus months of my time.  Most of the other episodes in contrast take one of two months.

Not everyone is going to like every episode of a series.  I've resigned myself to the fact that this was going to be one of those episodes.  

And Kevin - any video that goes out on Machinima.com is already commercial.

Fair enough MC.

I tried to have a little dabble with Moviestorm a while ago, so I know it's not easy,and I wasn't criticising.

No worries Rick.  I didn't take it the wrong way.  Was just explaining.

And I'm surprised no one has mentioned the last of those videos posted above.  If I was going to post a script I would certainly hope he chose mine.

Quoted from mcornetto And I'm surprised no one has mentioned the last of those videos posted above.  If I was going to post a script I would certainly hope he chose mine.

I agree, the graphics of that rival any HD gaming I've ever seen. That doesn't even look like the moviestorm clips I'm used to. So you've got all these filmakers on board to produce original scripts next go around? Good job Michael, I'll certainly try to write something when the time comes.

James

You think?  Seriously?  I don't know about that...

Quoted from jwent6688 So you've got all these filmakers on board to produce original scripts next go around?

Yep.  They're all on board.