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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Murder on the Simply Express - Killer Discussion Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Murder on the Simply Express - Killer Discussion  (currently 33239 views)
Dreamscale
Posted: November 15th, 2011, 11:40pm Report to Moderator
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Sandra...my dearest Sandra...

Collaborate?  This is a collaboration in which each individual writer, on their turn, gets to write whatever they want to and take the story and plot wherever they want to take it.

We can make a challenge for whoever is up next.  We can clean up a plot point.  We can bring in a new element, or work on an old one.

IMO, when you say we need to work more on character, it makes no sense, because one thing we do know is that we each get 2 turns, and we each get 1 kill...then, we're done and the story is also done.

The setup itself isn't something that really asks for all that much.  I mean, we know everyone will die and we know there will be strong posts and weak posts.  I for one try to infuse a little of everything I think an exercise like this needs - some humor, some surprises, some real speak, and of course, some violence and sex.

You're asking for way too much and even attempting to put too much into this with your posts and crazy back stories, characters that won't ever see a single second of screen time, and angles no one but you know anything about.  A huge collaboration like this can't work like that...ever.  You go with the flow and hope you can infuse a little of yourself.
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mcornetto
Posted: November 16th, 2011, 5:02am Report to Moderator
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All updated.
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: November 16th, 2011, 9:04am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from darrentomalin

Cheers.

The daughter is the girl killed on set in Electric Dreamer's (Brett) back story. I pulled on that thread for C.

I got a bit lost on some of the previous plots involving the menage and fly charm and stuff so went with some of the other established threads after the camera was wiped.




Hey Darren,

Very nicely done, you brought a lot of threads to bare.
We've had our sexy fun, now it's time for some explosives!
I'm glad someone decided to use my backstory.
It would've been uber cheesy for me to write it in there!

E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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darrentomalin
Posted: November 16th, 2011, 12:11pm Report to Moderator
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Everyone pulled on different stories and opened up various cans of worms for us to expand on or ignore lol.
I left the contents of the bag ambiguous but no one took the bait so took the initiative on my last turn and put a good old fashioned bomb inside.

There was plenty of back stories to choose from (the diamond heist was tempting - the bag was going to have the diamonds in it) but I've always loved a good revenge story which runs parallel with why Michael got us all on this damned train!
I hope the next writer doesn't mind the bomb thing to work with, didn't want to paint them into a corner (or they could just skip over it)

It's my first collab/killer game and expected lots and lots of tangents as writers bring in little through lines and tid bits of plot based on each indivdual's preferences so its been fun seeing who grabbed what (so to speak) and what themes were explored and hinted at.
I got lost on some of it - the love triangle and who hired who for example - but really getting a sense of paranoia from the resulting script.

It's going to be interesting on how we decide who the killer is (and how he/she did it all).


http://darrentomalin.webs.com/index.htm

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Grandma Bear
Posted: November 16th, 2011, 7:18pm Report to Moderator
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I should have mine posted tomorrow morning. I don't think you'll like it. It will be in a "Pia's world" kind of thing.  


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Mr.Ripley
Posted: November 16th, 2011, 7:42pm Report to Moderator
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How weird can we get?

I think we've been doing good so far. Alot of the characters has progressed. The problem will probably be explaining the deaths but like the movie Clue we've all killed someone.  


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: November 16th, 2011, 9:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear
I should have mine posted tomorrow morning. I don't think you'll like it. It will be in a "Pia's world" kind of thing.  


Yikes. Perfect timing.
I've got Phil & Janet in town for the weekend on business.
My Friday has been gobbled up by industry stuff.

Pia, would you mind sending your entry to me before its posted?
Could help give me the edge I need to get this done on Thursday.
Or.
Can the Powers that Be delay my turn until next week?

E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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mcornetto
Posted: November 16th, 2011, 9:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Electric Dreamer

Can the Powers that Be delay my turn until next week?

E.D.


Ok. It makes sense to put I before E but only because you're following D. Very appropriate for the game and should put you at very early next week.  If it still isn't the right day then for only ten cents we can we can stick you after M.

***Spoilers***

DEI -> DIE  DIEM-> DIME  
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Grandma Bear
Posted: November 17th, 2011, 11:45am Report to Moderator
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anyone around to have a quick look at mine?


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Mr.Ripley
Posted: November 17th, 2011, 12:03pm Report to Moderator
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I'm down. Send it over.


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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Grandma Bear
Posted: November 17th, 2011, 1:22pm Report to Moderator
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Sent! Thanks!


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 17th, 2011, 2:44pm Report to Moderator
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Very nicely done, Pia. Here I definitely see character. You did a wonderful job of picking up on what a SEAL would or wouldn't behave like and showing Rebbeca's determination is really very strong work here.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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mcornetto
Posted: November 17th, 2011, 3:10pm Report to Moderator
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Excellent work Pia.  Ties things up nicely.  

Everything is updated - Mr. Blonde is up next.
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ReneC
Posted: November 17th, 2011, 3:19pm Report to Moderator
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Hot stuff, indeed! I like it when a woman takes charge, makes me all goosepimply.

Great entry, Pia.


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Grandma Bear
Posted: November 17th, 2011, 3:43pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks!

If you know me, you know I don't like seeing female characters just stand around looking pretty waiting for some guy to come and save them.  


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