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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Murder on the Simply Express - Killer Discussion Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Murder on the Simply Express - Killer Discussion  (currently 33245 views)
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 12:12am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Just a heads up, Sandra. You explained your intentions in the E-mail, but you didn't actually send your scene. That is, unless you sent it separately or are waiting. But, whenever you send it, you're welcome. =)


The ever present, "forget to attach document". I'm on it for correction. Sandra!  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 12:18am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Izzle be a-waitin'... =)


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 12:39am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Izzle be a-waitin'... =)


Thank G-d! I need help!

Sent. With PDF this time.

See y'all tomorrow.

I'm off.  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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darrentomalin
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 9:52am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.


I'd like to see the train in serious danger before we enter the next scene.

Sandra



I had the same thought with the bomb, up the stakes!

Mr. Blonde - I left it ambiguous but personally, figured that "I" being a capable hitman would have definitely gave a good fight, hence Rebekah hearing banging and smashing and mistaking it for some rough sex! "I" was scrapping, Jason Bourne style, I figured the killer would want to do away with his/her biggest threat, the one with more information than everyone else.
Unfortunately, "I" lost and went out the window (pending any resurection - as you said, no one SAW him go out, maybe he'll rush in at the last minute and rescue everyone!)


http://darrentomalin.webs.com/index.htm

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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 11:26am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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The bomb was certainly an interesting spin. And, at the last minute, boom! Imagine if they hadn't made it, though? We're all dead. =)

Hell no. I could quotes movies all day to explain. I'm happy he bit it because he's a gun person. Usually those types are that way because they can't fight to (yes, this is a pun) save their lives.

But, I believe Ivan Drago said it best, "If he dies, he dies."

Wanna start a bet on who the Master Killer is...? =)


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 3:02pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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I hope this works. I did my very best.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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mcornetto
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 3:17pm Report to Moderator
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Sandra,

Good entry but I think you have to adjust two things.  Otherwise, it's not fair to everyone else.  

1. No characters unless they are on the list.  
2. You should not be able to see the killer.
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Dreamscale
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 3:28pm Report to Moderator
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Sorry, but all I can say is..."WTF"?

A female gift shop attendee?

Secret James Bond devices for everyone?

More new O.S. characters?

I guess I'm glad I'm dead now and all done here.

IMO, this thing has really turned into a big old frickin' mess.
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mcornetto
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 3:31pm Report to Moderator
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It's always a mess, Jeff.

And there's no reason to sow discontent.  

Sandra, will fix up her issues, or she won't.  At least we didn't enter interdimensionality like we did the first game.

The game will go on.  The point is to reach the end, not necessarily how we get there.  
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Dreamscale
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 3:56pm Report to Moderator
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I don't mean to sow discontent, just voicing my opinion.

You can see what happens when someone or a number of people decide to take things away from the intended path.  And it's definitely each person's right to go wherever they want to, but this is usually the result when this takes place.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 4:14pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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It is certainly an interesting take, but nothing to get up in arms about. All it needs is a little retconning and it's all good.

Besides, it's not like other parts of the story hasn't had weirdness in it... =)


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mcornetto
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 8:46pm Report to Moderator
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No word from Sandra yet as to if she is going to fix up her entry?
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 8:50pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Not unless she's E-mailed or PM'ed somebody or something. Technically, the story can still be rolled with, but the biggest issue I saw that adding in the next character and the new train car which we hadn't seen through the course of the story yet.

The technology-ness stuff can be worked with in some way, I think. Although it's not fair for me to say as I've already done both my sections, so who knows?


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mcornetto
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 8:51pm Report to Moderator
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I don't mind the content.  However, I mind that she broke the basic rules of the game.  I would be more forgiving if this was the first time this has happened with Sandra - but it's not.  She knows better.
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rdhay
Posted: November 20th, 2011, 8:55pm Report to Moderator
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Jeez, guys...here I am slacking on the boards, yet somehow I've been pretty busy on this train! :p

I am liking some of the twists that have come out, though I'm with you guys on Sandra's post - inventive, certainly, but a bit out there for the story IMHO.

Anyway, I'm starting to brew some ideas for my turn, depending on what happens between now and then

On a completely OT note, I'm hoping to finish the first draft of my feature this week!! Fuh-reaking excited!
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