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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Alternate Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: January 31st, 2004, 8:38pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Alternate by MG Flack - Drama - After holding a book launch, Nate's life starts to take a turn for the worse when a bogeyman from his dreams starts to alter his reality. - html** format.


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wratchitgoat
Posted: February 1st, 2004, 4:47pm Report to Moderator
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good beginning and last trick ending,the questions about what represents the strange occurances is really the first cab accident or....then the fun with the psych killing himself,funny...

the bits with each war scenario should be cut ....dramatically there is a reason for them,in theory the idea that they are each sequential,however less action with each,maybe even a quick bleed from one to another just telling which war or area

and maybe make it clear if some of the illusional stuff that occurs looks more real life or there are blemishes and eltricity or that type of suffuse variably with the schematics that abridges if the psychosis is taking a new form or a scatter brain form from one with another
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thefotonut
Posted: February 2nd, 2004, 5:38am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for reading the script Wratchitgoat. It was a script that I just didn't know which direction to take it and unfortunately it shows, especially with whatever second act there is.

I had no plans on touching it for a while so I thought I'd post it here.

Funny thing is, my friend who also helped with the story idea said later after reading it: "I didn't think it would turn out like that?"
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