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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Candles in the Rain Moderators: bert
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  Author    Candles in the Rain  (currently 1985 views)
Don
Posted: June 14th, 2007, 5:43pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Candles in the Rain by Ron Payne - Drama - It is 1970 and in a small Mississippi town, the Klan has returned. the local sheriff's detective tries to stop the violence before it escalates out of control. 121 pages - fdr, format


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electricsatori
Posted: June 16th, 2007, 12:11am Report to Moderator
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This script is in Final Draft. I doubt many people have that program. You might want to try converting it to PDF.



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bryan00009
Posted: June 20th, 2007, 6:31pm Report to Moderator
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People that don't have Final Draft can download the demo version for free from their website.  It's worth it just to get a copy of the Courier Final Draft font even if you have no intention of buying the program.
I notice the page numbering is off.  Remember, in Final Draft, the title page is treated separately.  Within your script, select Document/ Title Page/, and fill in (Name of Project), by (Name of First Writer), and delete the other items that aren't needed here.  Then select Window/ Name of script/ to get back to your script.  Then your page numbering would be correct.
As far as the story goes, it seems to be interesting but I'm not sure how modern audiences would react to this period piece.  Stories of the Klan and overt racism may seem dated and wouldn't particularly resonate with today's viewers.  We're a long way from the 1960s when this may have been more topical.
The writing style could still be improved.  You should not write "is driving" or "is walking", etc.  People WALK, they DRIVE... It's a small change, but avoiding the passive tense in screenwriting is important.


"It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with.  I found it flat and trite..."  Sunset Boulevard (1950).
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