My apologies to Kim.

John, it takes a rare breed (and an irritating one) to hijack someone's thread, throwing out insults at someone else trying to help.  It's that same breed who has the audacity to think (and come right out and say) that all other opinions other than his own, are incorrect and shouldn't even be offered.

John, keep in mind, that once again, you are the one who instigated this.  You are the one who decided to throw out insults at me, based on what I was offering to Kim.

Man, I don't understand you.  I really don't.  You're such an arrogant little prick, but the sad thing is that you have nothing to back that arrogance up with.  Have you ever even written a feature length script before?  Are you a logline expert?  What are you basing all this crap on and who are you to say what's better or best?

It's all opinions, dumbfuck.  Even a horse's ass like you should know that.  If Kim doesn't want my advice or input, all she has to do is say so.  Based on your demeanor, she shouldn't listen to anyone except you.  Why even post anything here, actually, just send it over to John C...you'll set 'em all straight, huh?

In response to your comments, once again, you can't seem to read what's actually written down in black and white, which is really scary, considering your input is so sacred and valuable.  I stated that IMO (which stands for "in my opinion") Kim's original logline was better than the one some coverage A-Hole gave her.  I also stated that I understood why she was having difficulty with it.  And I stated that I am far from a logline expert, like you, but then again, you're an expert on everything, aren't you?

Your last comment about Dream and Flashback scenes really hit the nail on the head when you used the phrase "fooling us".  Not the way to go, A-Hole.  A script is not meant to fool anyone.  When it tries to, it does so because it either can't deliver on its own, or it's written by a douchebag who feels the need to deceive his audience.

As I clearly stated, I didn't read this entire script, so I don't know exactly how it flows, but it seems like dreams play a major part in the story, meaning, there are most likely a bunch of them.  So, genius, is your advice that Kim conceal every dream scene by not labeling it as such?  Or should she label some and deceive and confuse the audience on others?  Same thing on Flashbacks, too?

Dude, this is funny actually.  I now recall why your name and irritating avatar seem so familiar.  We had an altercation on a "script" you wrote and you just couldn't admit to any of its many mistakes.  You just couldn't stop with personal attacks and out of left field comments that made absolutely no sense.  You were just completely clueless what was even wrong with that sad excuse for a first time writer's script, and couldn't wrap your ass cheeks around the fact that there wasn't a story there, and the entire joke ending was tied to an unfilmable, meaning the joke was actually on you, not your poor audience that had to sit through the read.

Again John, you started this with you personal attacks on me.  You started this with your holier than though attitude.  My original post stated over and over that what I was saying was my personal opinion.  There's nothing wrong with opinions, asswipe, and yours isn't the only one out there.

Now, please, go back to whatever it is you do with your time.  Or maybe, you should go back and read that awesome werewolf script pf yours and try and figure out what I was talking about.  Trust me, it will help you, and it's clear you need all the help you can get.

This is completely off topic quys! Entertaining as it is to watch you two attacking each other, I think it's time to stop and move on.  You aren't helping the author anymore.  

Both of the issues you two are arguing about are matters of opinion.  The loglines especially (and just because some reader came up with the second one doesn't make it automatically better).  However, I do think the second logline is less clunky.

As far as the DREAM goes.  It should clearly be marked a dream and if the author doesn't mention it beforehand then they should make sure we know afterwards.  Nothing worse than confusion because someone wants to be artsy when they really don't need to be.  The director needs to know he has a dream sequence - it needs to be clear.      

Bottom line -- Flashbacks and Dreams need to be labeled as such.  If they're not, it won't make any sense at all, and that's the last thing you want in your script.

Sorry to disagree, Mike, but in stepping in to rescue Jeff from further embarrassment, you're misrepresenting things. It's not just a difference of opinion, or an "off topic" dispute. We're dealing with issues brought up in Kim's script -- or at least I am. Our friend Jeff, on the other hand, has gone into full blown attack mode.  One of us is responding in a rational manner, while the other is frothing at the mouth. There is a right and wrong here.



Jeff is giving wrong advice. And one should have the right to correct him if that's the case. And it's the same about the logline. It's not strictly a matter of opinion. A good logline tells us what we need to know about the character, his main goal, and the central conflict of the story. And I explained clearly why one logline does that better than the other (and not just because it was written by some reader). Jeff, on the other hand, couldn't muster any response other than it's his opinion and that's he's entitled to it. Sure, people have the right to be wrong, but they shouldn't be surprised when they're called an idiot.

My apologies if you think I'm wrong.  But I do believe this thread is about the script, not Jeff's advice.  If you want an actual representation of whether of not advice is correct then you should take it up with the whole board.  Go open a thread in the screenwriting class section and argue about it there.   Jeff is not representative of the whole board and neither are you.   And btw, what makes you think that it was Jeff I was trying to save from further embarrassment?