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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  The Color of Love Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Color of Love  (currently 1195 views)
Don
Posted: September 28th, 2011, 9:20pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Color of Love by Brian Hunt (blackmojo7 - Drama - After a tragic event threatens to destroy their marriage, a married couple struggles to keep it together. 107 pages - pdf, format


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vancety
Posted: October 9th, 2011, 10:17am Report to Moderator
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Hey Brian,

I really liked this script. I read it in about an hour. I think the action and the dialog was pretty good. Only a few things:

Pag 4.

One more word out of you Dusty, and
I’ll have your ass in county so
fast, you’ll be somebody’s love
slave by nightfall. Now, sit down
and shut up!

You did not explain how the judge knows Dusty.

Pag 5

"He lays down on Jessica’s old bed."

Should be "He lies down on Jessica's old bed."

Pag 87
'... is taken aback."

Maybe you use this a bit to often.


Regards Rutger
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