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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  10 Years Removed Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: January 10th, 2018, 5:45pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
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10 Years Removed by Paul Reynolds - Drama - An everyman awakes one morning and is shocked to discover that the time is now ten years in the future and he struggles to rebuild his memory of the past decade. 110 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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eldave1
Posted: January 12th, 2018, 8:43pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



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Hey, Paul:

Page 1:


Quoted Text
INT. SUBURBAN GARAGE - DAY - 1999

A garage door opens from inside, full size new SUV pulls in,
a handsome man in his late thirties and dressed in an
expensive suit gets out.

This is TIM SULLIVAN.

He notices the clutter in the room, hes been ignoring it for
some time now.

TIM
(to himself)
I've got to clean this place up.

He walks out the garage door, notices a small ding on his
right back quarter panel, shakes his head.

TIM
Damn it, at least leave a note or
something.

Tim walks to a super mailbox at the corner, encounters


You went from inside the garage (INT) to outside the garage (EXT) without a new scene heading. One is needed.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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