I had high expectations from the title (awesome) but started to lose interest quickly. I don't get the whole apartment cleaning scene. Why? Just grab him and drag his ass where ever the graveyard is located (never identified). It seems the writing style of breaking up action narrative was just to get more pages as most was unnecessary.

I do like the concept and with more time and revisits, it could be something cool. Good effort.

Last script for me, so you know what that means, right?  Very detailed review...let's jump in!

Title - I don't like it at all, which is why it's my last read.

"lb" - "pound"

"no faintest idea" - very awkward

Strange how you've formatted and written this with single words on a line.  It's definitely padding the script, which may have been your intention, but it's not something you should do.

I don't like the asides here, either, but I'll press on.

lays/lies - please learn the difference and use properly

Series of Shots - not necessary at all, IMO.

Troposhere?

Many very awkwardly phrased lines.

Missing punctuation throughout, weird, stilted writing style that changes to much more detailed descriptive writing, meaning the flow here is definitely off.

The awkwardness continues and makes this tough to get through.

Not impressed with the "twist" at all.  Not impressed with the writing at all.  Not impressed with the "story" at all.

Bottom line, this ain't for me, and I once again do not see the stranger in a strange land or the fish out of water.

GRADE - **