>>Two days earlier.
Shit. A flashback. Hope it's worth it. I hate flashbacks.

>>Hubert now watches the flap as if he can see through it into the wagon.
I like this line.

>>The crack becomes a SNAP of a twig as Hubert drunkenly trips on a dead branch near the edge of the river.

Nice transition.

You certainly have talent. I'm struggling to pinpoint why this tale wasn't as compelling as it should have been. Maybe it's a bit disjointed. The good parts weren't linked properly. The betrayal, the regret, then the punishment. Everything just happened without a really convincing reason. He betrayed them because he was hungry.  Then they came back to life to haunt him. One thing I could think of to make the ending satisfying is to give this deserter a chance at redemption and have him dismiss it. Only that action can make us enjoy the corpses of his friend coming back to haunt him. Sweet justice.

This was a good attempt. Best of luck. Thanks for participating.

This didn’t work for me unfortunately. For a simple story, I somehow found it quite confusing.

There were a lot of mistakes and awkward sentences that made it a bit of a slog to get through.

I found the ending pretty unsatisfactory, probably because I didn’t really care about any of the characters or their outcomes.

You did at least meet the criteria of the challenge, and the lack of dialogue didn’t take anything away from the script.

Hopefully you can re-work and improve this in a re-write.

I think the logline is a bit vague.

Very wordy from the beginning... could help to shorten these descriptions.

Ok I'm confused with this one a little.

Good job completing one.

I agree about the logline.

Based on the other reviews, I will give this a one-page test. If the script becomes unbearably bad, or simply a chore to slog through, I'm out.

Title is not ALL CAPS. Fair enough. Moving on.

No FADE IN.

Quoted Text The sky [is] pale blue, with no clouds in sight.

Try to use complete sentences. You're not Tarzan, Tonto, Frankenstein, or George of the Jungle.

"mud[-]brown river"

"drought[-]stricken"

Quoted Text The land seems to be only bone-dry dirt, what vegetation there is looks to be teetering on the edge of life.

Strip that shit out. Too wordy.

Quoted Text Trees there’s a few more of though.

Yoda, you are? Awkward, this reads. Rewrite, you must.

Quoted Text Most have a fair good amount of leaves still left on them and some.

WTF? That makes zero sense. "And some" what?

Which ones? The ones with leaves or the "some"?

Quoted Text The unfortunate livestock consisting of two oxen lay in the shade, relaxing.

How are they unfortunate? From the heat? "Lay"? Are they dead? How can they relax if they're dead?

I can't. Nothing makes sense and you haven't even introduced your characters yet. Please learn English. I'm out. Sorry.