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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    July 2018 One Week Challenge  ›  The July 2018 Scripts of the One Week Challenge
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  Author    The July 2018 Scripts of the One Week Challenge  (currently 6629 views)
LC
Posted: August 8th, 2018, 6:42pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Anon
There’s another side to the so-called ‘unfilmables’ argument. And that’s the fact that one line – that some class as unfilmable – can tell an actor so much more than what to do at that exact moment. Used well, they can give actors and directors information that affects the whole performance or style of a piece....

Exactly. And not just confined to actor and director, but in the first instance the reader, and the Producer giving the greenlight. Unfilmables belong in no dialogue scripts. A canny writer will use them to bridge the gap of no spoken words with information and emotion that builds depth of character and fleshes out story and theme.



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LC
Posted: August 8th, 2018, 6:44pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
I have a top 3 with no daylight between them....

Ooh, I like that line.



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Cameron
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 4:26am Report to Moderator
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Aaaaaannnnnndddddd...results submitted,

Best of luck you bunch of beautiful so and so's. That was a good one, and judging by the scores I've just submitted it really was the strongest OWC in a while (obviously based on my own opinion, but I'm quite an average person so by the law of averages it should be correct).

Ta for the frights, giggles, dramatic slants and new ideas/techniques garnered from the scripts up here, oh and the reviews,

Cam
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 5:10am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

Exactly. And not just confined to actor and director, but in the first instance the reader, and the Producer giving the greenlight. Unfilmables belong in no dialogue scripts. A canny writer will use them to bridge the gap of no spoken words with information and emotion that builds depth of character and fleshes out story and theme.



Exactly. If you search for the best movie character intros of all time in scripts, most go beyond telling you what they are wearing, their exact age or how they look, they tell you about the character.  

More and more often I see in pro scripts introductions like, "He moves with the stocky, stiff-legged gait of a former athlete. His peppy, upbeat demeanor just barely masks a seething sense of insecurity and frustration." - Unfilmable yes, but lets you know a lot about this character in one sentence.  

It's not just character descriptions as well. A good writer knows when to add the odd unfilmable sentence to emphasis a scene or action. It's a tough balance to find but owc entries should encourage a bit of artistic flair instead of just saying, "totally unfilmable."




For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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eldave1
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 10:38am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

Exactly. And not just confined to actor and director, but in the first instance the reader, and the Producer giving the greenlight. Unfilmables belong in no dialogue scripts. A canny writer will use them to bridge the gap of no spoken words with information and emotion that builds depth of character and fleshes out story and theme.



See nail - hit it on the head.

A script is never getting to an actor until it gets by a reader - and several of them at that.  

My criteria for unfilmables and asides is that if they enhanced my read, got me to turn the page - I'm all for them.  Pretty much as simple as that.  And I have no scientific data on this as I have not kept track, but I would bet Jeff's left testicle that the best scripts use them.

So many times I have read technically perfect scripts that just bore me to death. It's the ones that draw outside the lines that hold my interest the most. More often than not, at least to me, they are written by people who have removed the shackles of craftsmanship and decided to become artists.

From Fargo:


Quoted Text
Lester is the type of guy that apologizes when you step on his foot.


Would be crucified by techies - no, you must show us he's that type of guy. Don't ell us. I say tel me! Let me know the type of guy I'm dealing with so I can enjoy me read.

This from Inglorious Basterds:


Quoted Text
The French farmer sits down on the stump he was previously chopping
away at, pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, wipes sweat from his
face, and waits for the Nazi convoy to arrive. After living for a
year with the sword of Damocles suspended over his head, this may
very well be the end.


Would be crucified. To long - ended a sentence with a preposition -  just say a Nazi convoy approaches -  the last sentence is entirely unfilmable -

I loved it and loved the script. If I was a producer, it would move to the top of the pile primarily because it was a joy to read.

Of course you should generally avoid unfilmables and asides when they are used merely to provide backstory - but when they are used for tone, to create tension, to give us an insight - intrigue us - use them all you want.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts

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eldave1  -  August 9th, 2018, 10:58am
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eldave1
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 10:39am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw


Exactly. If you search for the best movie character intros of all time in scripts, most go beyond telling you what they are wearing, their exact age or how they look, they tell you about the character.  

More and more often I see in pro scripts introductions like, "He moves with the stocky, stiff-legged gait of a former athlete. His peppy, upbeat demeanor just barely masks a seething sense of insecurity and frustration." - Unfilmable yes, but lets you know a lot about this character in one sentence.  

It's not just character descriptions as well. A good writer knows when to add the odd unfilmable sentence to emphasis a scene or action. It's a tough balance to find but owc entries should encourage a bit of artistic flair instead of just saying, "totally unfilmable."




Concur!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Anon
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 11:02am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


Concur!


Double concur. Flair and voice should be celebrated and encouraged. As long as it's any good ...

My votes are all in. Every script read and scored. It's been a trip and more time consuming than I though it might be. But honestly, I only took part because I thought the challenge a good one. So well done, Pia.

It was Pia's interesting challenge that made me write my first ever short.
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stevie
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 3:13pm Report to Moderator
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Great examples Dave!

Ironically, something totally unfilmable IS Jeff’s left testicle. And the right one (shudders)



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Reef Dreamer
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 3:28pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
... something totally unfilmable IS Jeff’s left testicle. And the right one (shudders)


I now have this image and I can’t get it out of my head...damn you. And that’s just the left one....


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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eldave1
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 3:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Great examples Dave!

Ironically, something totally unfilmable IS Jeff’s left testicle. And the right one (shudders)


Thanks, Stevie - the Fargo one was actually part of Reeve's blog today - timely.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Pale Yellow
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
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Still have 13 to read. Going to a friend's movie premier tonight... will get the rest read tomorrow at work.

GREAT job everybody!
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 5:35pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Great examples Dave!

Ironically, something totally unfilmable IS Jeff’s left testicle. And the right one (shudders)


You arse!  Funny!

My left ball is bigger than my right one and both hang down nearly to my knees.

How's that for a visual, Bill?  You like that?  

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LC
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 6:50pm Report to Moderator
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Word for today is 'exactly' , runner up word, 'concur'.

Isn't it lovely when we all agree. Rhetorical question.

Everyone should read:

http://scriptshadow.net

August 8 article - Fargo excerpt. Brilliant.

Like Dave said.


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eldave1
Posted: August 9th, 2018, 10:34pm Report to Moderator
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that's exactly right. I concur.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Stumpzian
Posted: August 10th, 2018, 8:03am Report to Moderator
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Right out of the gate, you're spot on.



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