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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    July 2018 One Week Challenge  ›  Writers' choice and who wrote what - updated!
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  Author    Writers' choice and who wrote what - updated!  (currently 3865 views)
Grandma Bear
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 3:55pm Report to Moderator
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Writers Choice

4.10 A Beautiful Day by Alex (Anon)  writing as  - Short, Action - A crash victim tries to escape her car before it cooks her alive. 2.5 pages.

Writers Liked

3.78 Weather Worn by David Lambertson (eldave1)  writing as  - Short, Drama - The consequences of relentless heat.

3.70 MQ-LC4 by Dena McKinnon (PaleYellow)  writing as  - Short, Drama, Sci Fi - Heat was just the beginning of the end.

3.44 Damask Memories by Cam Gray (Cam Gray)  writing as  - Short, Drama - A pregnant refugee fights with the authorities and European winter for the life of her unborn child.

3.39 The Cave by Rene Claveau (ReneC)  writing as The Number Thirteen - Short, Action, Thriller - Some signs should not be ignored.

3.33 Die, Fluffy, Die - Aquapussy by David M Troop (DaveTroop)  writing as S. I. Lentz - Short, Comedy - During the dog days of summer, Max the beagle must invade the neighbor's backyard to escape the sweltering sun.  The only thing stopping him is an adorable kitten named Fluffy.

3.28 We Are All Dust In The End by Steve McDonell (stevie)  writing as  - Short, Drama - A farming couple face the consequences of the drought from Hell.

The Rest

Tunnel Rat by John Staats (JEStaats)  writing as Only the Don knows - Short, Drama, War - A US Marine encounters unexpected perils as he clears an enemy tunnel.

Rain Check by Kyle Bowler (Kyle)  writing as  - Short, Drama - An ageing farmer struggles to cope with the harsh conditions that are decimating his land.


Wish You Were Here by Jeff Bush (Dreamscale)  writing as  - Short, Drama, Romance - Dallas and Marci are just trying to beat the Florida heat on a romantic weekend, but sometimes life gets in the way.

Killer Vibes by Bill Sarre (Reef Dreamer)  writing as  - Short, Action - Sent to a music festival to perform a hit, a reluctant assassin struggles with both the mission and the unknown foe that stalkes her.

You Should Be Ashamed, Richard by Cam Gray (Cam Gray)  writing as Huge Rant - Short, Comedy, Romcom - A trappist monk has to confront a past trauma in order to attain true love.

Pergo's Beast by Mitchell Gray (Mgray)  writing as  - Short, Drama - A lonely young woman escapes into the night as a shaggy beast, but the other costumed nightwalkers shun her when her head comes off.

Riot Time Knock Off by Steven Clark (StevenClark)  writing as Pepe Roni - Short, Drama - On a hot Summer day, a lovelorn man has only one solution.

Shortlisted by Ammar Salmi (realxwriter)  writing as Lukeecerf Bord - Short, Action, Thriller - While waiting to be interviewed, a young, struggling father finds something that will turn his life around in ways he didn't expect.

It's Killer by Steven Clark (StevenClark)  writing as Paul Stanley - Short, Comedy - When it's too hot to even think, sometimes a serial killer needs more than just death.

Change by Cameron Dueker (CameronD)  writing as Nobody Important - Short, Comedy, Drama - A passive but opportunistic ice cream clerk jumps at the chance to impress his secret crush when his chance arises.

A Taste Of Hell by Mark Renshaw (MarkRenshaw)  writing as Dante on the beach - Short, Horror - When all the planets in the solar system align with the sun, the Earth is briefly transported into another dimension. As it does, a father playing on the beach and his daughter gets to experience their own personal hell.

Beach of Intentions by Bill Sarre (Reef Dreamer)  writing as  - Short, Family - Struggling to connect with his kids, a divorcee Dad conjures a plan to inspire them.

Too Hot by Cindy L. Keller (CindyLKeller)  writing as  - Short, Comedy - When his air conditioner goes out on a 104° day, a man goes to the store to get cool where he is followed by the manager.

Curiosity killed the cat by Mark Moore ()  writing as  - Short, Comedy - One man's love for his feline friend goes a little to far.

Red Sun Burn by Steve Wrench (Steve Wrench)  writing as Bob Zeebub - Short, Crime - {no logline}

Sam, I Am by Chris Bodily (ChrisBodily)  writing as I.C. Kareem - Short, Crime, Historical Fiction, Thriller - A heat wave, a blackout, and a serial killer take their toll on three Studio 54 patrons on July 13, 1977.

The Burial by Claudette Saintyl ()  writing as  - Short, Action - The burial of a simple farmer is interrupted by a known gang and a mysterious drifter. - fdr format

Writer interested in feedback on this work


Deserter by Andrew Lightfoot (Lightfoot)  writing as  - Short, Horror - A man finds out just how haunting the past can be.




Revision History (4 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  April 19th, 2023, 2:58pm
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:07pm Report to Moderator
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Looks like it's about time to out ourselves.

So...without further ado, I'll begin.

I wrote Wish you were Here.  I'll provide some info as to where this came from, my thoughts, and some responses to feedback.

Thanks to all who posted feedback.
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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:36pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Looks like it's about time to out ourselves.

So...without further ado, I'll begin.

I wrote Wish you were Here.  I'll provide some info as to where this came from, my thoughts, and some responses to feedback.

Thanks to all who posted feedback.


That's impossible. There were three orphans.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


That's impossible. There were three orphans.


And a title page in large, bold letters!!!

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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:40pm Report to Moderator
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I'll be having a colonoscopy at 7:30 am tomorrow and am currently in the "prep stage" so better get off my note before ---- well, you know.

I wrote Weather Worn. Okay, Cam - I'm waiting for you to reveal my tell.

I really had no other guesses on the other ones other than I had Rene pegged for Rain Check.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


And a title page in large, bold letters!!!



Look at you spreading your creative wings!

I favor creative title pages - why the fok not I say.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Anon
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:42pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


That's impossible. There were three orphans.


Could have been 4 if she’d gone for adoption ...

But serious question as i’m new to this. Is it the done thing to give your own scripts glowing reviews? Or is that all part of the fun and throwing people off the scent and whatnot?
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stevie
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:44pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah I had you picked for Weather Worn, Dave

You shared my weather criteria as a must so it was narrowed down. The Duck script wasn’t your style and I knew who wrote the Mozzie one so WW was yours. I voted it my fave.



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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Anon


Could have been 4 if she’d gone for adoption ...

But serious question as i’m new to this. Is it the done thing to give your own scripts glowing reviews? Or is that all part of the fun and throwing people off the scent and whatnot?


Depends.

I didn't bother with a comment on mine this time.

I have added a cryptic comment on mine in the past (e.g., solid, meets the parameters, blah, blah, blah).

Have never wrote a glowing one on mine like Jeff's but I am quite alright with it - it's all a misdirect.

What I don't think is legit is arguing a point on a script thread that relates to your script or championing your script - responding to others. See the back and forth on A Beautiful Day is an example. Had I written that one - my debate with Jeff would not have been appropriate nor his - at least in my view.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Yeah I had you picked for Weather Worn, Dave

You shared my weather criteria as a must so it was narrowed down. The Duck script wasn’t your style and I knew who wrote the Mozzie one so WW was yours. I voted it my fave.


Much thanks, mate.  


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Anon
But serious question as i’m new to this. Is it the done thing to give your own scripts glowing reviews? Or is that all part of the fun and throwing people off the scent and whatnot?


Well, you should review your own script for sure, just in case peeps are keeping track and see you reviewed every script except 1.

In terms of giving your own script a glowing review, that's up to you.  I try to keep it honest on every review I give and when I write a bad script, or find mistakes that I didn't see at first, I shit on my own script and point out the mistakes.
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Anon
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


Depends.

I didn't bother with a comment on mine this time.

I have added a cryptic comment on mine in the past (e.g., solid, meets the parameters, blah, blah, blah).

Have never wrote a glowing one on mine like Jeff's but I am quite alright with it - it's all a misdirect.

What I don't think is legit is arguing a point on a script thread that relates to your script or championing your script - responding to others. See the back and forth on A Beautiful Day is an example. Had I written that one - my debate with Jeff would not have been appropriate nor his - at least in my view.


We’ll I wrote A Beautiful Day. So I did read that exchange and thanks for make a few points I would have liked to make myself! 👍
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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 4:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Anon


We’ll I wrote A Beautiful Day. So I did read that exchange and thanks for make a few points I would have liked to make myself! 👍


Twas a great script! Glad I could help the cause.  I think based on the responses you have a real shot at this one.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Anon
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 5:04pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


Twas a great script! Glad I could help the cause.  I think based on the responses you have a real shot at this one.


Thanks! Yours was one of my highest scores. Loved the end.
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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2018, 5:05pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Anon


Thanks! Yours was one of my highest scores. Loved the end.


Gracias!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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