That fact that you couldn't even spell Quantum tells me everything I need to know... then the comments confirmed it.

Rodney King/The LA Riots were in 1992, and yet Samantha (the new Sam) references the Coolio classic "Gangsta's Paradise," which didn't come out until 1995 as the theme from the movie Dangerous Minds. Unless you're going for "Marty playing Johnny B. Goode before Chuck Berry ever wrote it," then it's a huge fail.

If your script has as many typos as the comments say it does (including the title even!), then I won't bother. You had two weeks; there's no excuse for such unprofessionalism. Sorry. One week, sure, but two? Just no.

Hey writer,

I definitely have seen several episodes as a kid, and think to remember, that while the show is partly enjoyable, it's also been a shallow enterprise to some degree; but nothing against some light food, right? so let's go...

Page one nicely sets up the premise.

upper half of page two is where the premise's problem shows up OR you have to set it up differently. As it is, you somehow immediately push us away from her original main goal, and just jump to a second goal of her, saving lives. It's a bit forced…

p7 really political so far

p8/9 a bit over-written but you certainly hit the tone

p11 I'm definitely not an expert on American socio-political things but it feels you're going into a dangerous field when placing your "script's sight" fully against the riots. Is this well-balanced and not too one-sided?

I read it through from here and this is very sharp screen"writing", especially when regarding the complexity of the concept of this show - absolutely successful in this area, couldn't been done any better. The plot is truly super clear on the page.

As for story, it was good, but I overall think that you were to close to the original concept, which I find is done and should be left behind. You'd need some more fresh aspects to justify this reboot for me.

It however is a good script, written with skill and attention to detail, no doubt.

I'm a bit conflicted about the narration thing.

p4. I'm really liking the scene with the teenagers but I think the script could have done without that introduction and heavy exposition in the narration.

"When in Rome, right?" Loved that line.

I like Lewis. He is fun to listen too.

"I dunno. Maybe catch?" Haha, amazing.

Why didn't Sam ask Lewis about his brother age?


I'm not liking the dialogue between Sam and Junior. It's too direct. May need to be more subtle.

You have got a serious problem in the dialogue in the script.

Didn't we mean any harm? Are you kidding me?

P15. Okay, I'm giving up on the dialogue. And what's wrong with Sam getting between two guns? I don't believe that a scene like these would play out like that in real life.


"Looks like somebody called the
police. They’ll be here in
twenty-seven seconds!"

For example, this line could have been just "twenty-seven seconds" because we already know what he is talking about after we see the hologram and hear the siren.

I don't like how Lewis is making the scene too verbos. We can already see what's going on.

Why didn't Raider just ran away?    

What happens to James?


Final thoughts:

I really like the concept. Jumping back in time to fill other people shoes and save their lives the lives of people around them is an amazing plot. I like the Lewis Character. But the first thing you need to fix is to think of a better way to execute the concept. Something less direct. More successful. I mean you told a pretty straightforward story that lacked twists, good turning points, and exciting reveals. Nothing unique about what I read. However, you told it in a clear way that wasn't confusing nor had any distracting fragments in it. Which is a very good thing. This is probably a first draft.