SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is November 12th, 2018, 8:29pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
October OWC Who Wrote What and Writers Choice
And the Hyper Epic pick is...

The Night Gallery 7WC Scripts

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    October 2017 One Week Challenge  ›  Living Nightmare - OWC - filmed Moderators: khamanna
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Living Nightmare - OWC - filmed  (currently 2476 views)
Don
Posted: October 21st, 2017, 11:01am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
12549
Posts Per Day
1.93
Living Nightmare by Warren Duncan writing as Um… (Warren)  - Adult, Short, Horror - A woman with severe Insomnia finally gets some rest, but it comes with horrific consequences. 10 pages - pdf, format

Oneirophobia - Fear of dreams





Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  September 10th, 2018, 7:52pm
Logged
Site Private Message
MarkRenshaw
Posted: October 21st, 2017, 2:30pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
UK
Posts
1392
Posts Per Day
0.69
I thought the writing was fine and it met the criteria of the challenge. It took a while to get going, there's 4 pages of setup before anything interesting happens. I think you could start this later and get to the nightmares quicker.

It then becomes predictable with a very well-trodden twist but it was a decent effort.

-Mark


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 1 - 66
Cam Gray
Posted: October 21st, 2017, 2:41pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Glasgow
Posts
585
Posts Per Day
0.57
Hey writey, writey, writer,

Yay!!! Someone's done the dream sequence thing correctly!! Huzzah!!!!

Right, it is well written, visuals were good and it has a barely believable, but yet good twist at the end.

Now the brief. I'm not really sure here about the phobia. She apparently just doesn't have dreams? Is this because of a phobia brought on by previous bad times on the sleeping front? It doesn't seem that clear, and maybe should have been emphasised if this was the case.

I liked it though, it read well and couldn't really see any typos or formatting issues.

Good job,

Cam
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 66
eldave1
Posted: October 21st, 2017, 4:17pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Southern California
Posts
3802
Posts Per Day
2.43
Solid writing - good craftsmanship.

SPOILERS

For me at least could see the end coming along way away.

Yes, it met the challenge - however, I don't quite buy she had a fear of dreams. She wanted to sleep, took some beds, had a dream which she found quite pleasant.  Then she had a horrific nightmare - one that any rational person would not want to have. i.e., it was at that point a rational fear.

Anyway - despite the above - one of my favs so far.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 3 - 66
khamanna
Posted: October 22nd, 2017, 8:00am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator



Posts
2904
Posts Per Day
0.87
Hey, read your short.
Very nice progression here.
The dream sequence works very well and I'm glad you started with them being friends.

The only thing I didn't like is the talk about their father. I think Jemma's running away could stem from something that Cassie did to her. Maybe initiated a rumor not through the fault of her own - something like that. We want Cassie to remain positive character though. But Dad did something to Jemma - this derserves more than just a line. THis is a whole other short.

Anyway, this worked very well for me. And I think you can get it produced in a short time. It's budget friendly and all.
I read recently Polia - a horror about dreams and such. It got produced of this site, I think. At least I read it on this site, and then shortly after it got produced. Yours resembles that one but at the same time different settings and all.
Not that I'm saying it's a cliche to write something like that. It's hard to write something like that and still come up with something that reads well and unique. So I salute you on that. I thoroughly enjoyed it, thanks.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 4 - 66
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: October 22nd, 2017, 10:34am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Posts
2862
Posts Per Day
0.84
I thought the horror beats were well written.

Personally I found the story elements disconnected. Her dreams are about guilt over not mentioning her sister's abuse and then she kills the sister, mistakenly at the end.

The denouement is neither connected to the dream phobia,  nor to the information revealed in the dreams.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 5 - 66
JakeJon
Posted: October 22nd, 2017, 12:33pm Report to Moderator
Purple


Location
NewJersey
Posts
169
Posts Per Day
0.21
Bad timing on Jemma's part, I guess.

Good Writing on your part.

I thought it took a little long to get going;  I  kinda got bored with the dreams, probably because they were "just" dreams; go figure.

Never bought into the horror.  I think I got turned off at the top of page 5.  The Linda Blair, Exorcist gyration.

Another "Bad Dad" episode, but I liked how you "snuck" that in.

Pretty Good Sigmund.

JJ

Revision History (1 edits)
JakeJon  -  October 22nd, 2017, 1:20pm
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 66
GM
Posted: October 22nd, 2017, 2:02pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


Writing

Location
New York
Posts
2078
Posts Per Day
0.46
Hello

Congrats on finishing the challenge. Even though some have said that it took a while to start the story, I would have to disagree. I’m most likely in the minority for that lol. But kudos to you for following the three acts from a feature in a short page count such as setting up the ordinary world, conflict, passing that threshold, etc. I thought you were going for a different angle but the payoff was nice for me.

Hope this helps
Gabe



Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 7 - 66
Cacutshaw
Posted: October 23rd, 2017, 12:07am Report to Moderator
Red



Posts
95
Posts Per Day
0.19
I absolutely loved the ending. I was worried while reading it that it was going to be another "tortured in dreams" story, but I loved how it affected her tragically in real life.

I might consider getting rid of the psychiatrist altogether. It usually feels like an exposition fest with an unnecessary character whenever psychiatrists are used as sounding boards in films.

Most of the info said in the office can be portrayed in her now lucid dreams, and it would be more powerful as well (the runaway aspect showing a downward slope as the dreams go from happy to dark). Or even a brief conversation with someone close to her could fill in some gaps.

Great job. This is my favourite script I've read so far.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 66
RJ
Posted: October 24th, 2017, 8:09am Report to Moderator
Purple



Location
Australia
Posts
282
Posts Per Day
0.12
but my body won’t let me rest. - wasn't sure about this line as it's her mind, not body, I would have thought.

I liked the horror with Jemma in the kitchen scene - nice touch.

JEMMA
They always loved you more. Mom,
Dad, Cassie the little angel. -- this took me from the read for a sec - suppose I was expecting some other reason, dang it. Same old, same old.

Cassie shrieks as she pounces. She hails down stab after stab. - did I miss something? When did Cassie get the knife. She got it in the dream, but I don't remember her having any where near her when she woke up.

I did like the bulk of this story. It's well written - nothing to quibble about there. I think my main issue with it is that the ending feels tacked on - possibly because of being rushed. That said (I don't want to sound contradictory, but probably will)  I do like the idea you had for the ending with Cassie waking up and attacking Jemma. This just needs a little tweaking, IMO.

The phobia - hmm, not sure - at the end definitely, but at first she says she doesn't dream and there is no solid explanation for that. Maybe stating that she used to have nightmare when she was younger, but now has nothing? I don't know. When she says that maybe she had dream when she was a child, but can't remember - that doesn't really cut it.

All in all - good job. A nice little psycho horror.

RJ
Logged
Private Message Reply: 9 - 66
Dreamscale
Posted: October 24th, 2017, 1:23pm Report to Moderator
Blue


Yes, that is my real hair...

Location
Cave Creek, AZ
Posts
10277
Posts Per Day
2.57
Opening passage (line) is a complete waste and in reality, not even accurate.  You're describing the room in very little detail, but you omit what's actually taking place in the room until the next passage.

Upon seeing this filmed, if you were to go back and try and write the screenplay, you would never, ever in a million years, start with this line, like you did.

So, Cassie is 30 years old, yet this is the first time she's seeing a Doc about it?  How could she even be alive if she can't sleep?  How could she work, support herself.etc?

I think most will like this one.  I'd like to like it, but I just can't, as it doesn't ring remotely true or real.  It's like a movie where you're watching and continually asking questions out loud, because things just don't make sense.

Writing-wise, it's OK, but there are lots of improvements you can make, including the formatting of the dream scenes.

My recommendation is to make Cassie come off more like a real person - a real 30 year old.  She doesn't seem to work, yet lives alone in a house with multiple rooms.  Her only contact seems to be wit this Doctor every couple weeks or so, and that's not realistic.

The ending, although "interesting" again, isn't remotely believable.

But, based on the poor quality of the rest of the entries this time around, I have to give you a good score, as this is one of the better ones by far.

Grade - ***


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 10 - 66
JEStaats
Posted: October 24th, 2017, 5:23pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Tucson, AZ
Posts
571
Posts Per Day
0.69
Was the phobia her initial insomnia or the fear of nightmares after taking the sleeping pills? Not sure that qualifies with such a quick on-set but you got the RIP in.

A little more backstory would do wonders earlier as to why her twin ran away instead of just a mention near the end. Too much to digest with everything else happening.

Great use of transition from room to room. It really clarifies the mental image when reading the story.

I can't put my finger on it but it reminds me of a 'movie of the week' from waaaaay back in the '70s. Good work.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 11 - 66
pale yellow
Posted: October 24th, 2017, 7:29pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Jacksonville FL
Posts
2022
Posts Per Day
0.80
Insomnia! Finally... I am a total insomniac! So I can probably relate to this one! Although I do not have a fear of sleeping... just want MORE.

This one has good writing throughout.

I could sort of see this playing out the way it did. I was hoping that with each dream she would find out more and more what happened to her sister and that maybe she had something to do with or knew more about how her sister died maybe. It got a little complicated near the end with the backstory.

Not sure I love the ending of this. But it was well written. Think the characters need more depth and voice. Could improve on them so that we care more for them. Show the bonds between the siblings better than just playing tag something heart felt so that when we see the opposite near the end.. it's bigger contrast and more irony.

I think with some work this could be REALLY good. I like the use of insomnia in this challenge.

Good job.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 12 - 66
Spqr
Posted: October 25th, 2017, 1:16pm Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
85
Posts Per Day
0.02
The transition from the final dream to consciousness isn't noted, so did the murder really happen or is she still in a dream. I suspect it's the former, so I would make it clear by having Cassie wake up in the kitchen, clean knife in hand; then Jemma appears at the door and Cassie stabs her in a mindless panic.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 13 - 66
MarkItZero
Posted: October 26th, 2017, 4:59pm Report to Moderator
Green



Posts
672
Posts Per Day
0.72
It was an enjoyable enough read. Nice job for a week. I think you can do more with the therapy visits though.

The visit on pg. 3-4: I feel like you could easily introduce the abuse element here rather than having all that information thrown in at the very end. At least hint at something dark to do with the father. Maybe it ends with Cassie being evasive and refusing to discuss it with Dr. Foster, creating more tension in the scene.

The visit on pg. 6-7: She's basically recounting what we've just watched happen. Again, perhaps she could be evasive or outright lie as to the nature of the dreams. She's still trying to avoid confronting the real issues.

Anyways, good job.


That rug really tied the room together.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 14 - 66
stevemiles
Posted: October 27th, 2017, 1:53pm Report to Moderator
Green



Posts
673
Posts Per Day
0.25
Writing’s assured, makes for a smooth read.  On the surface I like the idea - blurred lines between dream and reality.  Story hit a couple of bumps for me, work these out and this could be a much stronger script - really make the most of the irony at the end.  

The phobia seems weakly addressed - she’s afraid of falling asleep for good reason.  And why now, what’s the trigger?

The Doctor’s office dialogue is too leading in places.  Is there a more natural way to get the missing sister backstory across?

The tougher sell is Jemma turning up out of the blue after all these years.  I’d consider a more plausible way to work her appearance into this.  If nothing else, foreshadow the possibility.

Was it the intention that the nightmares were a manifestation of Cassie’s guilt?  She doesn’t seem to blame herself, but I guess on a subconscious level she does?  That’s the only cause I could guess at as far as the nightmares were concerned.  

Well written, just wish I could have taken more from the story.


My short scripts can be found here on my new & improved budget website:


http://stevemiles80.wixsite.com/sjmilesscripts
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 15 - 66
ReneC
Posted: October 27th, 2017, 6:00pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
517
Posts Per Day
0.20
The writing is pretty strong. I found the doctor scenes to be a little wooden, nothing really happens in them except for the medication change. The ending is good but felt rushed.

For me, it doesn't have a phobia. Her condition is acute, not a chronic condition. It's a reaction to a series of bad dreams. If she started off with years of self-inflicted insomnia because she was already afraid of her dreams but now at the breaking point needs to sleep, maybe hoping the dreams won't start up again, that would work better.

Great job otherwise.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 16 - 66
Lightfoot
Posted: October 27th, 2017, 6:27pm Report to Moderator
Purple


Location
London, Ontario
Posts
338
Posts Per Day
0.09
Writing was great, story was good, a bit predictable at the end there but it was good.

Not too sure about the phobia, seems like she isn't afraid of dreams ... well actually she isn't seeing as how she had dreams during the first night on the meds, and liked them. A good moment to introduce this phobia would be when the doctor asks her about dreams and then she responds with fear or uncertainty not that she hasn't dreamed in a while.

Why did Jemma all of a sudden show up at Cassie's? Seems to be no explanation as to why she would suddenly show up at her sister's place after umpteen years of being off the radar ... especially at night too.

Good effort.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 17 - 66
DarrenJamesSeeley
Posted: October 29th, 2017, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Michigan.USA
Posts
1358
Posts Per Day
0.45
Overall, the writing is alright, although I am a little bit iffy on the overused trend of characters going from room to the
ROOM
and grabs an object and runs back into the
OTHER ROOM
and does something, head over to the
NEXT ROOM
all in succession.
Just one minor nitpick. To each his own. But you have to remember the layout of the house or this doesn't work.


Quoted Text
Cassie makes her way down the stairs and turns into the
KITCHEN
where JEMMA, 16, sits with her back to Cassie.


Okay, it's a dream. Dreams are usually (bad) ways for writers to make sense out of continuity errors. I wondered if Jenna was on the floor or in a chair. In any case, the action clearly states that the kitchen connects directly with the stairs. From the kitchen, I can see the stairs. Is the transition needed? But...remember what I said about location?

On p7,-9 Cassies dream starts in the LIVING ROOM. She will go into the KITCHEN then back into the LIVING ROOM. Back to KITCHEN back to LIVING ROOM.
Where's the stairs?
It's dream, the stairs are magically gone.
Right? Otherwise it is Stairs>>>Kitchen>>>Living Room.

Oh, and to give things more urgency, forget the "walk into the" business in these latter pages.

Quoted Text
She sprints into the
KITCHEN
and grabs the largest knife she can find.
She goes back into the
LIVING ROOM
Jemma is gone.


Try this instead:

KITCHEN
Cassie grabs the largest knife she can find.

LIVING ROOM
Jemma is gone.




"I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec." - Mo Fuzz, Tapeheads, 1988
my scripts on ss : http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1095531482/s-45/#num48
The Art!http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1190561532/s-105/#num106
Logged Offline
Site Private Message AIM YIM Reply: 18 - 66
Angry Bear
Posted: October 31st, 2017, 6:04am Report to Moderator
God Queen of the SimplyScriptsVerse



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
6357
Posts Per Day
1.63
Read this one this morning.

I think this one needs to either be shorter or longer. Could be made shorter to be a creepy five minute or less short or longer with more information. Right now you drop a few one line info here and there that need more explanation, IMO. Where Jemma mentions they always loved you more for example needs some explanation. Why would they love her more? Then there's the dad thing, which felt old hat to me btw, that's a big thing that also needs more than just a line. Where are the parents now? Where's the dad? Are they dead? Is he in prison? So, I think you can either skip those heavy lines or work with them more. Either would work better than where it is right now.

I also felt that it was becoming a little repetitive with the dreams. Perhaps put Cassie somewhere else besides her bedroom or living room when dreaming? Maybe instead of making coffee and spending the night in the living room when she wants to stay awake she decides to spend awake time out in public where she knows she has little chance to sleep, like riding the bus or train. That way, it would be extra scary having bad dreams there. I just feel we need a different scenario then being back in her apartment again. Unless you of course decide to make this shorter.

All in all, a scary story that with some tweaking could make a great short.  

Good luck with it.  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 19 - 66
PrussianMosby
Posted: November 2nd, 2017, 10:30pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


Posts
1237
Posts Per Day
0.67
Solid title
Another vague logline. There's no true plot movement explained.  

Yeah, Twin Peaks. A coherent story, well-crafted. I especially enjoyed how you presented the whole back-story through an active plot. Well done. For what it is, the horror-action parts could be a bit more to the point, it does not have to be so frequent/repetitive - rather a few precise actions would be more shocking since the psychological aspect and tone of the script IMO are anyway much stronger. Don't water that impact too much through gore and fight.

Then, I see where you wanted to go with the ending. Honestly, I think you even can improve that last part, because despite the fact that it is partly serious there, it also has a bit irony within (<-not needed imo)… I personally guess that I'd prefer the more very damn serious ending. Don't know how you could possibly accomplish that, but at the ending, yet I felt like: what happened before was moving me more and made a more honest impression. Then it was more like the "clever way" of typical short film ending. As said, I think the deeper approach of an ending would do much more justice to this great script…

Good job.


No End of Wolves   (9p - psychological horror)


Revision History (1 edits)
PrussianMosby  -  November 2nd, 2017, 10:41pm
Logged
Private Message Reply: 20 - 66
Warren
Posted: January 10th, 2018, 10:14pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
This was just optioned to a student from Bournemouth University. A day after Lullaby was optioned again.

Very excited to see what he does with this one. It's one of my personal favourites.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 21 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 6:36pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Living Nightmare has been filmed and is in the last few weeks of editing. Here are some screen grabs from the film.

 photo Screen20Shot202018-03-0320at2020_35_18_zpswymhjybc.png

 photo Screen20Shot202018-03-0320at2020_34_47_zpsyxzhapmr.png

 photo Screen20Shot202018-03-0320at2020_33_25_zps1aysrr5a.png

 photo Screen20Shot202018-03-0320at2020_35_58_zpsfoesgvkh.png


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 22 - 66
Angry Bear
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:15pm Report to Moderator
God Queen of the SimplyScriptsVerse



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
6357
Posts Per Day
1.63
Congrats!

Who's the guy in the chair?


Logged
Private Message Reply: 23 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:18pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks Pia.

I'm not sure, I haven't seen a cast list yet. I thought he looked vaguely familiar, but probably just looks like someone else.

Come to think of it, he does look a lot like the guy out of A mime is a terrible thing to waste.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Warren  -  September 12th, 2018, 11:51pm
Logged
Private Message Reply: 24 - 66
Angry Bear
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
God Queen of the SimplyScriptsVerse



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
6357
Posts Per Day
1.63
I think he was in my mime film! Is he British?


Logged
Private Message Reply: 25 - 66
pale yellow
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:26pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Jacksonville FL
Posts
2022
Posts Per Day
0.80
Congrats!!!!


Logged
Private Message Reply: 26 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:27pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Yes it was filmed in the UK.

Could be.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 27 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:28pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks Dena.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 28 - 66
Angry Bear
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:37pm Report to Moderator
God Queen of the SimplyScriptsVerse



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
6357
Posts Per Day
1.63
If it is him, he's name is Bhasker Patel. I think he's well known in the UK. Small world.  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 29 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 7:40pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Well shouldn't be too much more of a wait to see the film.

And yes it's very small!



SCREEN SHOTS ON PREVIOUS PAGE


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 30 - 66
eldave1
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 8:31pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Southern California
Posts
3802
Posts Per Day
2.43
looking forward to it


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 31 - 66
StevenClark
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 8:43pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Upstate NY
Posts
1704
Posts Per Day
0.81
Good job, Warren. Lotta people getting stuff optioned and made. Nice to see.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 32 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 3rd, 2018, 9:28pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks Dave and Steve.

Yes SS is the place to be!


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 33 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 25th, 2018, 3:27pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76

Quoted from Angry Bear
If it is him, he's name is Bhasker Patel. I think he's well known in the UK. Small world.  


Hi Pia,

I asked the filmmaker, and it is Bhasker Patel that plays the psychiatrist, that’s pretty cool!


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 34 - 66
Angry Bear
Posted: March 25th, 2018, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
God Queen of the SimplyScriptsVerse



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
6357
Posts Per Day
1.63
Cool! I'm sure he did a great job. He was great in my mime short.  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 35 - 66
MarkRenshaw
Posted: March 26th, 2018, 3:38am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
UK
Posts
1392
Posts Per Day
0.69
Yeah! It's always good to see SS writers getting options and stuff produced. Congratulations!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 36 - 66
Warren
Posted: March 26th, 2018, 3:52am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks Mark.

SS has been too good to me.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 37 - 66
Warren
Posted: May 14th, 2018, 8:42pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Living Nightmare, filmed as Insomnia, has officially been completed, I saw the final cut today and I love it. Unfortunately I can’t share it just yet as it has been entered in a few festivals.

It's very true to the script with a few minor and understandable changes for ease of production.

I look forward to hopefully putting it up soon.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 38 - 66
eldave1
Posted: May 14th, 2018, 8:55pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Southern California
Posts
3802
Posts Per Day
2.43
Very cool dude


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 39 - 66
Angry Bear
Posted: May 14th, 2018, 9:01pm Report to Moderator
God Queen of the SimplyScriptsVerse



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
6357
Posts Per Day
1.63
You're on a roll!  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 40 - 66
Warren
Posted: May 14th, 2018, 9:21pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thank, Dave and Pia.

Bhasker Patel is fantastic in his small role as the psychiatrist.

Considering this is a student film, I couldn’t be happier with the outcome.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 41 - 66
khamanna
Posted: May 15th, 2018, 4:53am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator



Posts
2904
Posts Per Day
0.87
Liked the script a lot - can't wait.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 42 - 66
Warren
Posted: May 15th, 2018, 5:46am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks, Kham.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 43 - 66
AnthonyCawood
Posted: May 15th, 2018, 6:59am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
UK
Posts
2629
Posts Per Day
1.44
Congrats


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 44 - 66
Warren
Posted: May 15th, 2018, 4:18pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks, Anthony.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 45 - 66
Warren
Posted: August 19th, 2018, 11:09pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Hopefully not too much longer now.

 photo Insomnia Poster 2_zpsav2ctmpf.jpg


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 46 - 66
LC
Posted: August 20th, 2018, 1:47am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
2839
Posts Per Day
0.77
Looking good, Warren.

Just checking out Bhasker Patel's IMDB. Wow, he's a busy boy, everything from Indiana Jones in 1984 to BBC 4 Radio, Video Games, soapies - comedy, drama, mini series. He never sits still and seems to do a lot of Shorts which is really giving back imh, cause you can bet he probably doesn't need to.

Warren, I notice on the thread you optioned this to a student filmmaker. Is he the one doing this version with Patel?


Logged
Private Message Reply: 47 - 66
Warren
Posted: August 20th, 2018, 2:09am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76

Quoted from LC
Looking good, Warren.

Just checking out Bhasker Patel's IMDB. Wow, he's a busy boy, everything from Indiana Jones in 1984 to BBC 4 Radio, Video Games, soapies - comedy, drama, mini series. He never sits still and seems to do a lot of Shorts which is really giving back imh, cause you can bet he probably doesn't need to.

Warren, I notice on the thread you optioned this to a student filmmaker. Is he the one doing this version with Patel?


Hi Libby,

And Pia's A Mime Is A Terrible Thing To Waste I'm very excited that Bhasker Patel is in one of my shorts.

Yeah, Joe Eastley is the film student. I'm not entirely sure how it all came about, and I must say that for a student film I think it's fantastic. It's a personal favourite out of my produced films. I'm very keen to get it up.

Hopefully in the next week or so.

I actually got an email from another filmmaker about wanting to produce this script this morning. I've sent him my terms and let him know it's already been made (something he should know because he told me he found it on SS), I'm just waiting to hear back if he want to proceed.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 48 - 66
eldave1
Posted: August 20th, 2018, 9:57am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Southern California
Posts
3802
Posts Per Day
2.43

Quoted from Warren


Hi Libby,

And Pia's A Mime Is A Terrible Thing To Waste I'm very excited that Bhasker Patel is in one of my shorts.

Yeah, Joe Eastley is the film student. I'm not entirely sure how it all came about, and I must say that for a student film I think it's fantastic. It's a personal favourite out of my produced films. I'm very keen to get it up.

Hopefully in the next week or so.

I actually got an email from another filmmaker about wanting to produce this script this morning. I've sent him my terms and let him know it's already been made (something he should know because he told me he found it on SS), I'm just waiting to hear back if he want to proceed.



Your are smashing it dude.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 49 - 66
Dustin
Posted: August 20th, 2018, 10:21am Report to Moderator
Blue


Action speaks louder than dialogue.

Posts
4809
Posts Per Day
2.48
Good luck with it. I'd be interested in watching. Bhasker's pretty talented.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 50 - 66
Warren
Posted: August 20th, 2018, 4:22pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks, Dave and Dustin.

Appreciate it.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 51 - 66
Don
Posted: September 10th, 2018, 7:52pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
12549
Posts Per Day
1.93
filmed:




Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 52 - 66
Warren
Posted: September 10th, 2018, 8:24pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks, Don. Got this up super fast!


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 53 - 66
Angry Bear
Posted: September 10th, 2018, 9:19pm Report to Moderator
God Queen of the SimplyScriptsVerse



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
6357
Posts Per Day
1.63
Great work Warren! You should be proud of this one.

Mr. Patel!  

My only gripe with this one would be the strangled sister. Her emotions and looks during that was just too "nothing". It's much more traumatic than that in real life.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 54 - 66
khamanna
Posted: September 10th, 2018, 9:36pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator



Posts
2904
Posts Per Day
0.87
Nice movie, congrats Warren on another one!

I did like the script somewhat better though it's the movie is a top quality work and I was glued to screen throughout the whole duration of it. I guess the reason is the strangling moment. It did look like it wasn't a dream. When I read the script I wasn't sure until the very end.

But great stuff nonetheless, think it'll do great at festivals.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 55 - 66
Warren
Posted: September 10th, 2018, 9:47pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks for taking a look Pia and Kham.

I'm super proud of this one.

Always a few things that I think could be done differently, but for a student film, I'm very happy with how it turned out.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 56 - 66
MarkItZero
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 2:46am Report to Moderator
Green



Posts
672
Posts Per Day
0.72
Insomnia? I can relate right about now...

That was great stuff, man. IMO, the best film you've had by far. I was legit freaked out by that first scare. And he's a film student! Big congrats.  


That rug really tied the room together.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 57 - 66
Warren
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 2:59am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks, mate.

Definitely my pick of the bunch. He did a great job.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 58 - 66
ReneC
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 12:30pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
517
Posts Per Day
0.20
Well done! Nice set up, good tension building. A solid short, aside from the sister's final performance. She was much stronger in the rest of it.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 59 - 66
Philostrate
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 1:09pm Report to Moderator
Red



Posts
95
Posts Per Day
0.35
Good job, Warren!

This one is well-filmed, with good tension and legit scares.

No doubt why you are proud.


My Website

Shorts:
Glass Bottles
The Last Guardian of Magic
Lady Justice - Picked-up!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 60 - 66
Breanne Mattson
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 2:58pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Posts
1457
Posts Per Day
0.30
Congrats Warren! Great job all the way around.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 61 - 66
Warren
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 4:21pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks, all.

I appreciate the kind words.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 62 - 66
LC
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 7:35pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
2839
Posts Per Day
0.77
Good stuff, Warren.

Congrats.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 63 - 66
Warren
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 7:49pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Thanks, Libby.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 64 - 66
Dustin
Posted: September 12th, 2018, 1:31am Report to Moderator
Blue


Action speaks louder than dialogue.

Posts
4809
Posts Per Day
2.48
I will try to get around to watching this today. I'll probably do it tonight. Congrats on a successful production in any case.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 65 - 66
Warren
Posted: September 12th, 2018, 3:20am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
1570
Posts Per Day
1.76
Cheers, I look forward to your thoughts.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 66 - 66
 Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    October 2017 One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006