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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    October 2018 One Week Challenge  ›  The 13th Leeds - OWC - Optioned Moderators: Administrator
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  Author    The 13th Leeds - OWC - Optioned  (currently 4211 views)
Philostrate
Posted: October 24th, 2018, 4:46pm Report to Moderator
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Not bad. The comic style format made it a hard read.

The scene of the kiss made me laugh out loud. Not sure if this was what you were going for.

The visuals were good and I liked how you tied the story with the legend of the Jersey Devil.

Overall, I enjoyed it. Good job, writer.


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JEStaats
Posted: November 14th, 2018, 5:53pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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This OWC is well past but, before I go to work on a revision, I thought I'd just address a couple things:
- This is based off the actual legend of the Jersey Devil.
- The names (Titan and Jane Leeds) were their 'real' names.
- For today's audience, I think it could easily pass for PG-13.
- Comic format can be a bitch! Definitely out of the comfort zone when first striking out on the endeavour. Unlike screenplay writing and the unwritten rules, there are actually written rules for dialog and caption (I found out the hard way!). Formatting is definitely variable and I think I'll revert back to NOT writing in all caps for panel action.

Thanks again for all the reads and comments.
~John
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Don
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 9:11am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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From John,

"13th Leeds (OWC) optioned with horror film festival intent."

Don


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