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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Radio and Stage Plays  ›  The Unmitigated Consequence
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  Author    The Unmitigated Consequence  (currently 4675 views)
Angry Bear
Posted: February 7th, 2016, 3:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Skeeter
So, there is only one way to end this.  And that is to have all you critics out there that hate this script so much, to present YOUR scripts and show us all how its done.   People more often than not, will criticize what they don't understand, what they don't know and what they cannot do themselves.  So show us all how its done properly and present YOUR script.  Just end it with your presentation of your masterful work and lets all move on!  

Most of the people that have commented here have scripts posted here already. Most of them are produced writers as well...


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Skeeter
Posted: February 8th, 2016, 9:58am Report to Moderator
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My whole problem with the criticism is,  it just doesn't make any sense.  When I read words like "Cheesy"  "Over-the-top" and "melodrama" . . . I have no idea where that is coming from.  Nothing in this script is cheesy or melodramatic nor is it over the top.  its actually quite tame to real domestic violence.  So, its very difficult to take that kind of critique seriously.  It's like biting into an apple and critiquing the flavor of an orange.  It  seems to come out of nowhere.

And Dustin who had a problem with the length of the monologue at the end, obviously didn't read the monologue nor did he read all the action that takes place under the monologue.  It's a voice-over Dustin.  I made that pretty clear in the script, if you read it.   It's important dialogue as well as the action behind it.

I dont have a problem with people being critical,  if its legitimate.  Because, I am more than likely already there with ya on it.  But, I do have a problem with people who dont read the parts they are critiquing and then argue it.   I don't know how to critique something I didn't read or understand.  That's all I'm saying.    
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IamGlenn
Posted: February 8th, 2016, 11:54am Report to Moderator
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I haven't read this one and have no real desire to after seeing how this thread has swung, but do you not feel that all these people (some of whom I know are damn good writers) that are criticising your work might actually have a point? You say none of it makes sense, yet a lot seem to be saying the same thing. Maybe it's you that just can't see the problems because it is your baby after all.

Also, you called them out to post their work. Do a little search, you'll find their stuff and might even be impressed.


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bert
Posted: February 8th, 2016, 12:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
Okay Skeeter - I am out.



Quoted from Skeeter
Thank you for getting out!


What are you guys missing here?  Why am I still seeing post after post on this thread?  


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Skeeter
Posted: February 9th, 2016, 7:32am Report to Moderator
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See, this is what I'm talking about.  People don't read it, but then comment on it.  

I do acknowledge areas that need to be worked on,  of course, you can never be satisfied with your work.  It will never be perfect.  It's just the way it is.  And I dont have a problem with discussing those areas.   Just not in the unprofessional manner in which certain people expressed on this thread.

This is a very violent play that tells the truth about domestic violence.  So, by calling this play melodrama and cheesy is an insult to those who have gone through domestic violence.  Maybe its too heavy for people, I dont know.  But, the over two hundred women who have been through DV and have read it, all say the same thing.  It is too close to home.  Which tells me I told the story correctly.  Their critique is much more important to me than what I have read here.   They know more about it than all of us.

Also, This is NOT a film script.  Whoever made that comment, as the accomplished writer they claim to be, should have been able to tell the difference between a stage play and a film script.
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Demento
Posted: February 9th, 2016, 5:55pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Skeeter
So, by calling this play melodrama and cheesy is an insult to those who have gone through domestic violence.


If someone calls YOUR play melodramatic, that has nothing to do with people who have gone through domestic violence. That's just a criticism of the portrayal of domestic violence in your play. That it's exaggerated. It has nothing to do with people that have gone through it.
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AlsoBen
Posted: September 23rd, 2016, 8:35am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Skeeter
I want to have ... a discussion about domestic violence


If you want to have a discussion, you still have to do more than post the script without comment. You need to start a discussion. Your script is too long and overwritten to engage people's talkey bones.


Quoted Text
But, the over two hundred women who have been through DV and have read it, all say the same thing.  It is too close to home.  Which tells me I told the story correctly.  Their critique is much more important to me than what I have read here.


As a domestic violence victim, your script sucks and from what I saw of your youtube video, so did your play. Sorry. It is overwritten, underthought and exploitative.


Quoted Text
AUDIENCE COMMENTS From the production at the Times Square Arts Center in New York City - 2011


Yeah, put yourself in an audience members shoes. If someone approaches you imemdietely after the play - I assume the director - asking for feedback, even if you were the kind of persn with no filter, how do you even articulate it? Those people were being polite or were in shock. Plenty of plays have several-day runs. I've known actors who worked on plays - the plays still sucked.

Sorry, Skeezer.


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