HALLOWEEN GAMES

                                             by Cindy L. Keller

    In 1930 NORA (20s) ran through a cornfield trying to escape from her attacker. She was under the full moon, one step from a dirt road, when she was killed. Her last breath, forced from her body, when a pitchfork entered her abdomen.
    A vigilante mob sought out and found the hired hand that Nora's family had employed. He was sleeping in a pile of straw in the barn when they came bursting in. The man's name was LUCA (30s). He was a gypsy whose family turned their back on for falling in love with Nora (because she was not one of them).
    Luca had no clue as to why the mob was after him, and he didn't know that an older gypsy had called on a demon to make the farmers pay for how they had treated the gypsies. Luca had been possessed.
    SUSIE (20s) is very naive: she has a child-like innocence about her, yet she is a happily married homemaker. She is so happy and in love that she attempts to hook up GLORIA (20s) with one of her husband BILL'S coworkers (CHUCK 20s) even though she doesn't know him all that well.
    Gloria (a college student) loans Susie a book. The book is about Luca and the murder. When Susie returns it to her, Gloria is surprised to hear that Susie believes Luca was innocent.
    Susie has a Halloween party to introduce Gloria to Chuck. There is another couple at the party, too, Ron and Gloria, both in their 20s. Ron has a history of teasing the big ol galoot known as Chuck ever since Chuck was a young alter boy. Ron also wears a cowboy hat (like the farmers did).
    During the party, they decide to have a seance to contact Luca. Chuck is drinking heavily as he usually does, and when Ron calls Chuck a coward for not wanting to go through with the seance, that's when Chuck decides he's not taking it anymore and calls Ron outside so they can finally settle up. There is so much commotion that no one notices the demon apparition in the room, glaring at them from an inconspicuous spot on the wall, eyeing Susie.
    When Chuck and Bill come back in the house, the party mood is dead. Gloria is ready to leave like Ron and Debbie had.
    When Ron and Debbie are driving down the road, they pass by a church where Debbie was baptized. The church has a message board in front of it. A message that they should have paid attention to as they headed to the store to buy more beer.Ron and Debbie are the first to die by the hands of the demon. He claims their souls and laughs out loud at God.
    That night when Susie sleeps she dreams of making love. In her dream she is a Goth beauty and making love to a demon. The demon melts into her. When her husband hears her moans of passion, he wakes and turns to her. That's when she feels violated and rips his heart out, but it was only a daydream. Susie quickly remembers her love for Bill and shoves him away from her.
    Ghostly hauntings begin to happen in Susie and Bill's apartment. Shadows, things with the electricity. Bill explains them away as a short, but he is left feeling a little uneasy when the smoke alarm continues to blare with an empty battery compartment.
    The demon knows Susie's love for Bill is strong, and he must figure out a way to win her away from him.
    When Susie and Gloria go to the flower shop to buy flowers for the funerals of their friends, they are surprised when Luca gives Susie a rose and tells her that he overheard her speaking about her loss. He tells her that a beautiful woman such as her should never know the meaning of saddness.
    Susie and Gloria go to the metaphysical bookstore and purchase supplies to get rid of "the ghost". When they return to the apartment, they find Bill and Chuck there. Chuck is getting hammered as usual, and being obnoxious.
    The girls do a house cleansing. One in which they call out for the spirit to leave. Chuck thinks they are yelling for him to leave, and his feelings get hurt. When it is made clear what the girls are actually doing, Chuck is happy again. He plays along and makes out like he is kicking a ghost out of the door, but doesn't pay attention to what is running up to the door in the front yard. It's the demon. Susie sprinkles salt around the door to keep the spirits at bay. The demon hits an invisible wall.
    Chuck realizes he has to give up the booze.
    Susie does her usual house cleaning, including the vacuuming. She vacuums up the salt. The haunting starts again. This time it is in the bathroom, and this is the first time that Gloria actually believes her. Lights flash, water shoots out of faucets, and the toilet seat slams up and down. The demon is mad because Susie and Gloria were talking about how good her relationship is with Bill.
    Susie gets the owner fo the metaphysical bookstore (OLIVIA 30s) to come over and do a binding. Bill and Chuck, then Gloria interrupt it. The demon shows himself for who he is, but he is forced to leave when the group stands together against him.
    Olivia is visited by the demon, but the tables turn on him when Olivia's grandmother (50 and deceased) shows up. Luca cries out for help. The demon has possession of his soul. Olivia's grandmother tells Luca that he has always had power over his own soul, to use his freewill to choose. A beam of light enters the room, and frees Luca from the demon. Many, many, many spirits free themselves from the demon. Olivia suffers a heart attack, and dies.
    Susie returns a book Olivia forgot after doing the binding and learns Olivia is dead. The demon makes another appearance. This time Chuck runs off. He runs to the church across the street as the demon stakes his claim on Susie. Bill ends up dying as he fights to save her.
    Chuck returns, but he's not empty handed. He's brought a weapon he remembered from his childhood. As the demon holds Susie in his grasps, Chuck heaves a bucket full of holy water on him, and the demon's fire turns to ash.
    Susie thinks she sees Luca, Ron, and Debbie at Bill's funeral. They nod, and smile at her.
    The following year Susie goes back to school to study to be a lawyer. Her little horns are sprouting.
    The demon slices through the darkness trying to break through.
    Teen girls have a seance in a bedroom. The demon finally makes it through the darkness. This time he's not playing around. He takes the teens, and the room they are in, straight to the depths of hell.

I loved it.  Every paragraph had a reason for suspense.  There's a lot of information here that a writer could use to design character outlines in order to begin designing a script from your treatment.  You've presented a succinct, informative treatment.  I love how we're left hanging at the end.  You must plan a sequel

Thank goodness! So with a little bit of fine tuning I'd be able to use this when asked for a treatment.
Right now I'm working on a vampire script. I did write a sequel to Halloween Games, but it is in the middle of a MAJOR overhaul. I'll pick it back up when I get the first draft of the vampire script done, and sort of work between the two until they are both finished.
Thanks for giving it a look Alan. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell that much, but I guess I am.  
Cindy

The treatment isn't supposed to be seen by the audience.  Because it's for production staff, it's important that you include the entire story, including the ending.

Thanks for clearing that up for me. It's "the story". I got cha now.

So, would this be a good example of how to write a treatment? Or are they rarely ever the same from person to person. The thing is, if I would have read this I wouldn't have wanted to read or would never have been able to read the screenplay because I would have known what was going to happen.

I like to be entertained and in cases surprised by what I read.

Surprised? Why would they want to be surprised? I think you are looking at it from a film-goer's POV rather than a film-maker's. I think, and I may be wrong, that a good treatment must reveal all major plot points of a story. Isn't that the point of a treatment? There is plenty of entertainment and surprise to be had in the execution of the story.

But when the ending is thrown out there before you've had a chance to read it, I mean what's the use? I've read the script, I don't read previous reviews in the threads because I don't want to spoil the script.

Once you know what's going to happen it kinda ruins it, I'd rather not know what happens when I read the real script. You dedicate about 2 hours or so to reading a 100 plus page script.

Again, I was just trying to spark of conversation for the sake of it.

I'm glad that there is a treatment section here. Now that I know how to do one, it will help in writing scripts. You basically have the whole idea on paper and go from there filling it out to make the script. It's a lot easier than sitting down and trying to write a script without one. I am going to sit down and write a treatment for Bloodline before I get back to work on it again. Then I can change the treatment after the script is done.

Thanks for your help here Alan.
Cindy  

The main purpose of a treatment is for producers/directors who don't have time to read a script that may not interest them in the slightest. Some production companies will get hundreds if not thousands of scripts per week...and even more query letters. If they like a query letter they would ask the writer to send them a treatment. It could range from 1-20 (or so) pages in length, and give the reader the whole story. It should make the producer/director want to take the time to read the script.

I understand what you're saying Wesley...but directors who'd rather read a treatment will know ahead of time that they will probably know the whole story. It's a time saver for them. If they like it - they'll request the script.

As for query letters & loglines - I don't give away the ending, never! I want the reader to WANT to know what happens, and in turn request a treatment or script.

At the moment, I've yet to be asked to submit a treatment. I've managed to sell the script by Query letter. (by 'sell' I mean they want to read it).

No, no don't get me wrong I know what there purpose is but I meant for someone like myself who enjoys reading a script with no hidden agendas, I just don't want the script to be ruined for a reader such as myself.

I understand the directors, producers thing. I wrote a treatment that was 8 pages long and another that was only about 2 pages but they're for me and nobody else.

Another thing is you can tell what is going to happen and suggest changes for the writer, which is a good thing.

My question was originally is this a good example of how they're written on average or are there better ways of doing it.

Oh, okay!

And yes, I would rather read a script than a treatment (personally).

I don't have a lot of experience with the treatment side, and I've only ever used them for myself. All I know is that you can add dialogue to it (I'm pretty sure) if you ever need...