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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Another Question of sorts Moderators: George Willson
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 7:48am Report to Moderator
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So I dreamed up a scene while at work for my final episode to start it but I have no clue how to write it because it's one of those weird scenes where you just don't know what's going on.

I guess it's unavoidable to add some minor spoilers in if you plan to read the episode of said series  

I want to do this scene where each character wakes up in bed with either the character they've hated all season or the opposite but just an awkward moment nonetheless.

I cannot figure out how I would write this though because if I keep cutting from each characters room to the other I'd be there all day but if I do it like a montage where it's all under 1 continuous heading INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT it would give the impression that they all share the same bed which is also weird so anyway get back to me on that if you know.

Thanks in advance.


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Old Time Wesley  -  August 25th, 2005, 7:48am
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George Willson
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 9:58am Report to Moderator
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If they are in different locations, you can use INTERCUT to indicate each person is in a different location. Kind of like this:

INT. BEDROOM ONE

Person One speaks.

INT. BEDROOM TWO

Person Two speaks.

INTERCUT BEDROOM ONE/BEDROOM TWO

They speak like in same room.

END INTERCUT

Back to Bedroom two.

--

I hope that comes close to your question.



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George Willson  -  August 25th, 2005, 9:59am
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 10:17am Report to Moderator
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The way I'd want it to go though is...

Character A wakes up beside Character B

Character B wakes up beside Character C

Character C wakes up with Character D and finally

Character D wakes up scared because of the odd way the dream is set up.

(I used character A,B,C,D as to not spoil anything to a potential audience but it still gives the gist of what I need because like most writers I'm not perfert.)

So would I go from each room giving it it's own scene heading even if the person only wakes up beside the character, 1 line of dialogue and cut to that person in a new scene heading with the next character and so on down the list?

If that's what you're trying to say I understand but if you have newadvice given the recent details I gave I'm more then happy to read it.


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bert
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 10:48am Report to Moderator
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That only sounds like four cuts, which is not excessive by any means.

I would approach it like this:

INT. A'S BEDROOM - MORNING

A wakes up with B and stuff happens.

INT. B'S BEDROOM - MORNING

B jolts awake, notices C, and stuff happens

INT. C'S BEDROOM - MORNING

C jolts awake, and so on....


Sounds like a great intro, by the way.  I already have my own predictions as to some of the pairings you might have in mind.


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George Willson
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 10:50am Report to Moderator
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I suppose it would primarily depend on how much you want the audience to know. Do you want it to seem like they're all waking up with each other? Or do you want to make it clear that everyone is in a different place, albeit, several are with each other.

From a production standpoint, just for reference here, do you see a tight camera shot including only two people, but with the bed extending beyond the range of the lens, or are we talking a wider shot establishing each bed in a different room even though some have the same people?


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Old Time Wesley
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 10:58am Report to Moderator
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I went with the most obvious but I had to cut the one that would have been my favorite for the story of course because you can only use each character once so instead of continuing with John, The Clerk, Ken Sr, Danielle, Poppy, Gretchen, and all the characters who've shown up a few times throughout and the rest of my unstable cast it just seemed to work if I only used the main guys and gal.

Sometimes instead of asking questions I just guess on how to do things but thanks for the ideas on how to write it because I honestly had no clue how you should do it.

(George, that is not for me to write into the screenplay. I'm not the director so tight shots and wide lenses don't matter, I guess since it is only for comic effect the readers will decide if it works or not and I make changes from there. But I do understand what you mean, when I had casey piss the bed I wanted the do a zoomout but didn't because I hate camera angles)


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Old Time Wesley  -  August 25th, 2005, 11:04am
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Balt
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 11:38am Report to Moderator
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A MONTAGE is the dissolving of two or more shots into eachother, I believe so anyways... To where as a SERIES OF SHOTS has a distinct beginning, middle, and end.

Maybe you should do the SERIES OF SHOTS

A) BED ROOM 1
B) BED ROOM 2
C) BED ROOM 3
D) BED ROOM 4

END SERIES OF SHOTS

---

Just my two cents on the matter...

G'luck!
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George Willson
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 12:07pm Report to Moderator
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I'm quite aware that we're not writing in camera shots, however as the writer, you would have some kind of a vision in your head that would need to be interpreted into text onto the page as an image free of such angles. I was trying to get a sense of this vision and I felt that was the easiest way to get it across since we're discussing how to put it on the page.

I'm gathering that each awakening in happening in sequence and three is no overlapping discussion. If so, then you would just write it as once scene after another as Bert mentioned.

If, however, there is to be overlapping between these 4 dissimilar scenes, then here's a way to do it.

INT. BEDROOM A

A wakes up with B. Blah, blah.

INT. BEDROOM B

B wakes up with C

INTERCUT BEDROOM A / BEDROOM B

     B
  (to C)
Blah.

     A
  (to B)
Blah.

     C
   (to B)
Blah.

    B
  (to A)
Blah.

END INTERCUT

INT. BEDROOM C

C wakes up with D. Blah, blah.

INTERCUT BEDROOM A / B / C

     C
  (to D)
Blah.

    B
  (to C)
BLah.
  (to A)
Blah.

     D
   (to C)
Blah.

     A
   (to B)
Blah.

And so forth

END INTERCUT

INT. BEDROOM D

D wakes up, hyperventilating.

---

The latter example works if you want the audience to know what is going on but still get a little lost in it.

If you want the audience to be completely clueless until D wakes up, you would run it like this.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

A would wake up with B and so on, but in this sequence, it would seem like htey are all together in bed chatting, with the odd point of C never acknowledging nor speaking to A, nor does B speak to or acknowledge D, nor does D seem to notice A. You would have to make it clear who a character is speaking to as a wryly on each line of dialogue to keep it straight.

It would all become clear what just happened when D wakes up. Something like this was done in LOTR when Gollum speaks with Smeagol, just not to this extent, obviously.



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George Willson  -  August 25th, 2005, 12:07pm
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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If it were filmed it would all be a tight shot of the person sitting up, quick spin over to the person beside who is out of place and so on and so forth but I could use Tight On: that description kind of like a Close Up: shot but you see I don't know if that would be different especially to my audience because they're so used to the simple aspects of the series that if I start making it complicated it may change how much they like the finale.

I also see where you're going Balt, I know a montage is usually used to catch the audience up on a story and waste time in an otherwise short film (Team America - World Police did one and made fun of it with a good song) but I think you can use things like that to your advantage if you use them in different ways even if it's wrong to a traditional setting.

I guess I'll try each of these suggestions and see which one looks better on the page because it's all about the look and if it looks awkward I can't use it. Thanks again guys.


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Higgonaitor
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 5:26pm Report to Moderator
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What about:

INT. VARIOUS BEDROOMS--NIGHT

That kind of seems like it is looking at all the bedrooms at once though


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George Willson
Posted: August 25th, 2005, 7:22pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Well, under the bedroom slug, you can use this method...

PERSON A

sits up in bed and looks over to

PERSON B

sleeping next to him/her.  

By using the names as subheadings, you will bring focus to them. Perhaps that will at least add to the pool.


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