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To those learning the craft, spec screenplays demand recognition of their unique presentation requirements.
First, spec screenplays need to be distinguished from shooting scripts and transcripts, both of which will lead to frustrating delays and revisions of work if their format is copied.
Second, there are two kinds of spec screenplays. Established writers, having already earned enough street cred to be cut some slack on their format transgressions, should not be overtly emulated on format style. Leaving us with the "true spec screenplays": The first or second (subjectively) big ticket production of a writer's hopeful career. (Don't quit your day job just yet, Mr/Ms. One Hit Wonder.)
Third, although a Writer/Director (W/D) needs to secure financing based upon the screenplay (and likely any marketable principals attached), they tend to do a lot "winging it" and "on set modification" of the screenplay that was presented to the producer/distributors. So, W/D screenplays tend to be subject to a fair bit of "off the cuff wiggling about". Not something you want to learn from, but should consider - with prejudices.
Fourth, regarding commercial and critical "success": Um... doesn't matter. Anything produced means someone spent a chunk of change on it based upon the merits of the story. We've all seen movies with bad reviews make lots of money. We've also seen bad movies with bad reviews make lots of money. And we've seen movies with great reviews that made no money. There's zero correlation between revenues and reviews. It doesn't matter. Writer was already paid. So, let's keep our eyes on the prize.
Fifth, even though a screenplay may be based on another work (books or short stories) the dissection of screenplay format itself is what is of interest for this exercise. If the spec screenplay incited money to be spent then it's good.
Review the format styles of multiple current, non-W/D, "true spec screenplays" to develop a sense of what producers and distributors are willing to speculate spending millions of dollars on themselves.
As of November 28, 2010, this is what we get: Last added movie scripts (s = script date, r = theatrical release date) Date Night s2008 r2010 - Josh Klausner Frozen s2009 r2010 - Adam Green Perfect Creature s2004 r2007 - Glenn Standring Marley & Me s2007 r2008 - Don Roos
Road, The r2009 - Joe Penhall Clash of the Titans s2008 r2010 - John Glenn & Travis Wright Death at a Funeral s2009 r2010 - Chris Rock & Aeysha Carr Sandlot Kids, The 1992 - Don't care. Too old
Up in the Air r2009 - Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner Ninja Assassin s2008 r2009 - Matthew Sand & J. Michael Straczynski It's Complicated r2009 - Nancy Meyers After.Life s2008 r2010 - Agnieska Wojtowicz-Vosloo
Remember Me s2009 r2010 - William Fetters & Jenny Lumet Losers, The s2007 r2010 - Peter Berg & James Vanderbilt Catch Me If You Can r2002 - Don't care. Too old Ghost Rider s2001 r2007 - David S. Goyer
Darkman 1989 - Don't care. Too old All About Steve s2006 r2009 - Kim Barker Extract 2008 r2009 - Mike Judge Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant r2009 Brian Helgeland
Fantastic Mr Fox s2007 r2009 - Roald Dahl, Wes Anderson & Noah Baumbach Hot Tub Time Machine r2010 - Josh Heald Valentine's Day r2010 - Katherine Fugate Chaos 2004 r2005 - Don't care. Too old
While She Was Out s2006 r2008 - Susan Montford Timber Falls s2006 r2007 - Dan Kay, Revisions by Tony Giglio She's Out of My League r2010 - Sean Anders & John Morris Bounty Hunter, The s2007 r2010 - Sarah Thorp
Up r2009 - Pete Docter, Bob Peterson & Thomas McCarthy Yes Man s2007 r2008 - Nicholas Stoller Valkyrie s2007 r2008 - Christopher McQuarrie & Nathan Alexander Wrestler, The s2007 r2009 - Rob Siegel
Terminator Salvation s2005 r2009 - John Brancato & Michael Ferris In the Loop r2009 - Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci & Tony Roche Youth in Revolt s2007 r2010 - Gustin Nash Legion s2007 r2010 - Peter Schink & Scott Stewart
An Education r2009 - Nick Hornby 2012 s2008 r2009 - Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser Sherlock Holmes s2008 r2009 - Michael Robert Johnson, Anthony Peckham & Simon Kinberg Avatar - Don't care. Writer/Director
Book of Eli, The s2007 r2010 - Gary Whitta Damned United, The r2009 - Peter Morgan Sugar r2009 - Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck Precious s2008 r2009 - Geoffrey Fletcher
Last Station, The r2009 - Michael Hoffman White Ribbon, The r2009 - Michael Haneke Broken Embraces r2009 - Pedro Almodovar Twilight: New Moon s2008 r2009 - Melissa Rosenberg
Okey doke. Just to develop an awareness of turnaround times, IMSDb often listed the month of both the script and the theatrical release date. Most were released just over twelve months, many under two years, from the script date. Sure, a release may have been tied-up for a few months, but generally speaking, script-to-screen is around thirteen months. When no screenplay date was provided a back-figure from the release date was used to cut or keep screenplays. Changing screenplay style trends make those over a few years old likely not very useful for analysis.
Now, lettuce check these writers at IMDB.com to see which are writer virgins and even a few W/D virgins...
Oh, and in case you're an inquisitive monkey, such as myself, and are wondering WTH the diff between a IMDb "Screenplay" and a "Written by" credit is: http://www.imdb.com/help/show_leaf?writerterms
" The Screenplay credit is normally used when there's a separate credit for the Story writer. When the same writer is the author of both Story and Screenplay, the 'Written by' term is used. "
Lettuce re-visit each of these and confirm... Yep. These're good 'nuff. Eight out of forty-eight. I'm happy. Lettuce head back to: http://www.imsdb.com/latest/
Gopherit! See what you find and figure about HOW they did their thing that got their screenplays past the reader, the director, the producer, the studio and the distributor gauntlet. GL!
- Seven and a half pages of oft three line description/action before any meaningful dialog. - Not real sure what the pattern is for all-capping words or phrasings. Most often an object/noun. - Eli not introed until well after many times he is refered to as THE WATCHER. - "His name is ELI." Not standard spec screenplay practice. - "He sits back, breathing harder than the dustmask will allow. He yanks it down, revealing the dirty, unshaven face beneath. Impossible to tell his age, but certainly not a young man." I've been beaned for giving less perfect descriptions than this. - "Then bundles up the dead cat and returns to the mangled tree stump." "A snowflake drifts down and lands on his cheek." "He reaches up and brushes it away" Loose usage of "and". We've been going ape-sh!t over "and" vs. "then" or dropping it altogether in lieu of just inserting a comma. - " He sniffs. He heads toward it. Eli regards. He yanks. He leans. He leaves." All active present tense. Even a little repitition rather than dogmatic "mixing it up". - "As he walks away, we see that the sole of one of his boots has worn loose, held in place now only by a rubber band." No (insane) avoidance of infamous "we see... " - "Eli continues down the road. He ambles along slowly, a man in no hurry. A man who has been walking a long time." Unfilmable last sentence used to develop ambiance/status/feel. - "CRANE UP as Eli walks on." Camera shot usage. - "Eli walks steadily along, side-stepping rubble and debris. Ignoring the petrified corpses lying in the street." How does he walk? Steadily. What is he doing to the petrified corpses? Ignoring. In spec screenplay proper, should that line be re-written as "Eli walks, steady, side-steps rubble and debris. He ignores the petrified corpses that lay in the street"? - "He doesn't even look inside, knowing already that he will find nothing." That's two unfilmables in a row. What else didn't Eli do? How long is that list? And how can a director film what Eli "knows"? Also, the writer knows darn good and well that Eli is stone cold blind. Why would the writer include a passage about a blind man "looking" at anything? Was the writer being figurative? - "Takes a bite, savoring the taste with great relish. To him, it's grade-A filet mignon." Again, that second sentence is an unfilmable the reader/production assistant, producers, director, studio and distributors did not balk at. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1037705/companycredits
This is all ocurred before page 6.
- " BEAT. The bandit leader looks at Eli incredulously... and then LAUGHS. The other bandits laugh along nervously." Dreaded -ly words! AGHH! - "If you blinked, you missed it. But somehow Eli has now drawn his sword." Can you address the reader like that? I guess you can. - "Eli flourishes the sword. A BLUR, TOO FAST TO FOLLOW. But it's clear he is possessed of an inhuman level of skill. It is over in moments. The four bandits LAY SLAIN IN THE ROAD, blood pooling out onto the asphalt." Good. I hate choreographing action scenes I know stunt coordinators are just going to rewrite anyway. Same thing for the page 32/33 fight.
Okay, I'm going to stop the detail reading and just scan the rest for unique formatting points, if any.
Get a load of these massive dialog chunks on pages 67 - 68: CARNEGIE When I was a kid my parents used to read that book every goddamn day. My mother, she'd read it along with this smooth-talking preacher on the TV screen. They used to be able to beam these guys right into your house, into every house in the world, through the air. Like magic. (BEAT) She worked two jobs and she sent every spare penny she had to that fucking guy on the TV. My old man, he'd read that book, then he'd get liquored up and kick my ass, tell me all about the power and the glory and how I was going to burn forever in hell for the sins I was born with. He made sure he beat it into me good.
He snaps out of his reverie and looks at Redridge.
CARNEGIE Don't you see? It's not just any book. (MORE)
68.
CARNEGIE (cont'd) It has the power to motivate people. It can give them hope, it can terrify them. It can shape them. Control them. (BEAT) Do you remember how I built this town? It wasn't done with force, and it wasn't done just with water. It was done with the power of words. I created this place out of nothing, because people believed in a promise that I sold to them. Those guys on the TV, they were richer than you could ever dream, and it was all built the same way. With words. With promises. And with that book. (BEAT) That book is a weapon. Aimed right at the hearts and minds of the weak and the desperate. Just imagine what I could do with it.
REDRIDGE Boss... we're running out of water and the people are running out of patience. You're trying to tell me that a book is going to keep them in line?
CARNEGIE Oh, it'll do much more than that. The water in this town may run dry, but faith - that springs eternal! And that faith will help turn this town into a city. And this city into a nation. It will help me build a new world. In my image. People will come from far and wide to hear what's inside of it. They'll follow me anywhere just to get a taste of it. And they'll do whatever I tell them.
We've seen reviews at SS with people having kittens over such.
Pg 106 The soldiers before them part - to reveal a THIN, BALDING MAN wearing spectacles. He wears Kevlar body armor over his tweed jacket and tie. Professorial, academic.
He approaches, shakes Eli's hand vigorously - very excited.
THIN MAN Welcome, both of you. I'm Professor Lombardi. I'm the curator here.
ELI Elijah Stone.
SOLARA Solara.
LOMBARDI Solara. What a delightful name. Is that by any chance Shakespearean?
Lombardi is first introed by his description, charactered as his description for dialog, then charactered as his name for dialog - after he announces his name. Maintaining suspense is acceptable, even if brief.
Gary Whitta: Oh, but it wasn’t 10 years where I was spending my whole time doing that. After Total Movie, I continued to work. Future brought me back and I went back to the gaming side, worked on Next Generation magazine for a while. I worked on Daily Radar for a while, did some other jobs and then got into writing on the game side. So I was on the gaming side, I wanted to get into the movie side. Gaming’s become more cinematic. That was kind of the stepping stone for me. I did some work for video game companies doing screenwriting for games. That kind of segued into me having more time to do screenwriting. I wrote a bunch of scripts, sold my first thing in 2004 I think. At that point, I felt like I was broken in and I was taking meetings. That was the first year I got to write Screenwriter on my taxes. That’s what I did and I earned a decent living but it was clear that I was still very far from anything like A list. A lot of the jobs that as a geek I might be excited about, “I want to go and pitch on the Batman movie,” stuff like that, they wouldn’t listen to me on those jobs. Then the amazing thing was Eli completely changed that. Having the right script at the right time changes the industry’s perception of you literally overnight and suddenly the phone is ringing and you get to go and pitch on all these jobs that just the previous week were out of your reach, so it’s kind of crazy.
Crave Online: Still, it’s Joel Silver and Warner Brothers, so what changed from your original script?
Gary Whitta: You know, remarkably little. I just saw the film for the first time a couple of weeks ago. You’ve seen the more finished version than me. I only saw the 98% finished version where there were still visual effects to go, but the cut was finished. It was the movie and I was really thrilled with it. Especially someone like me, I’m always going to nitpick a million different things but I can comfortably say that’s the movie I wrote up there on the screen. I honestly got kind of choked up at the end a bit, going, “Oh my God, they made my movie.” You hear so many horror stories in Hollywood about you sell a script, but by the time it gets to the screen, something’s happened to it. It’s unrecognizable. It’s turned into something homogenized and market tested. That never happened here. We were really fortunate that all the people, the family of people that surrounded this film, the Hughes Brothers, Denzel, everyone was someone on board with what this film was. No one ever came and said, “We think there’s a good idea here but we see something different.” They got that this was a movie that they could make. Denzel believed in it from the beginning, was incredibly protective of it and shepherded it through production to make sure that the vision that we shared for the film was the one that wound up on the screen.
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=25539 Quickly cranking out a half dozen screenplays, "each one slightly less awful than the last," Whitta knew he was in the right place when he paired with the same creative management company as Brian Michael Bendis. Backed with a bevy of scripts (including some "so bad no one will ever see"), Whitta made his move on Hollywood.
Unfortunately for Whitta, the studio continuously asked him to tone down the religious aspects of his script to the point that he no longer felt comfortable with the film he was making and was, ultimately, replaced with a different writer. Thankfully, Denzel Washington, who was attracted to the project for those very elements, came to Whitta's rescue and demanded that he be brought back aboard, allowing him to see the script through to the very final stage.
One major turning point in the script to screen process came about in discussions with Washington over the film's twist ending. Originally, Whitta had intended Washington to have visually blind eyes, wearing sunglasses to hide them for the entire film. Washington refused, preferring to play the character as blind with his own brand of subtlety.
"Without even thinking, I said to him, 'Are you sure you can pull that off?'" Whitta said. "He didn't say anything. He just looked at me as if to say, 'B---h, please!' Later that day, he gave me a tour of his house and he's got his two Oscars. He said, 'I just thought you'd like to check those out.' The look was, 'Don't ask me if I can pull this s--t off again.'"
- 1 MUSIC: DEF LEPPARD - "ROCK ROCK (TILL YOU DROP)"
2 Over OPENING CREDITS, a montage of OLD WRESTLING-MAGAZINE PHOTOS. Action shots of 3 RANDY "THE RAM" ROBINSON taking on a keffiyeh-wearing heel named 3 THE AYATOLLAH before 4 20,000 screaming fans at Madison Square Garden. Wow. Right out of the gate, four SS spec screenplay no-nos: 1 - Specifying a specific song . 2 - Incorrect crafting an opening credits montage. 3 - Characters absent any age or description. 4 - Twenty-thousand not spelled out. Ballsy, eh? - The sounds of a SCREAMING, CHEERING CROWD overwhelm us. Over the images, RINGSIDE ANNOUNCERS boom commentary: Right on the heels of the first four "offenses" the writer refers to us - as "us" And writer uses something other than (V.O.). This writer is TOAST!, Right? Nope. - ----"The Ayatollah taking it to The Ram outside the ring! ----"Randy The Ram Robinson giving absolutely everything he's got! This is the very definition of heart!" ----"Just listen to this crowd! The entire Garden, 20,000 people, are on their feet!" Whassup with the quadrupppple dashes and quotations? Twelve lashings! Each! Again, characters named without descriptions. Again, twenty-thousand not spelled out. - Naked except for a jockstrap, Randy takes a breath. Achy, sweaty, saggy, exhausted. A battered warrior. Scars all over his body. Despite the rough shape he's in, it's clear he's just given it his all in the ring. He swigs down a few pills with a beer. 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 lines including the semi-orphan. - Randy just shrugs resignedly. How does he shrug? With resignation? Noooooo... - Waiting near the entrance are TWO FANS, both men in their 30s. Not "TWO FANS, 30s, wait near the entrance."? - MUSIC: CINDERELLA - "DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT (TIL IT'S GONE)" AGHH! Again with the specific song citation! - MUSIC: CINDERELLA - "FIRE AND ICE" AGHH! - Randy resignedly climbs into the BACK OF HIS VAN. How does he climb back in? With resignation? Nooooo... - Sitting behind a desk is store manager WAYNE (40). He looks Randy, working alongside some MEXICAN GUYS, lifts a STACK OF Randy stands with GREGG, a huge bodybuilder who's counting one more rep, his SPOTTER urging him on. to the FRONT-DESK WOMAN, who's on the phone. Randy sits in a chair as a KOREAN LADY wearing latex gloves Okay. New rule for me: If the character is gonna be relevant later - he gets an age and a description. If IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER the character just gets a title. That's it. It never made sense to age and describe every irrelevant pissant, anyways. - A spring in his hobbled step, Randy gets out of the van and heads toward Cheetah's, the strip club he passed earlier. I've seen people get beaned here for repetitious things like "the strip club he passed earlier." It's no big sin. - Randy, watching her, quickly grows bored. He finds the stripper, like the song, crude and soulless. Do I even need to say anything about that second sentence?
Okay. Page 20. I'm done with the detail. Off to go hunting large format thingies.
Nothing else particularly notable, format-wise.
Unlike in Book of Eli, the fight scenes are pretty well choreographed. Pages 15 - 18, 30 - 32, 111 -117 I've yet to see this film and will get back with you later about how well the script-to-screen action went.
He thought he might have a future in filmmaking, but a two-movie deal that The Onion had signed with Miramax amounted to nothing, and a scattershot sketch-comedy feature that the paper's staff members wrote for Fox Searchlight was shot and shelved in 2003.
Then a darker script, 'Big Fan,' about an obsessive football enthusiast who is beaten up by his favorite player, caught the attention of Mr. Aronofsky, who saw Mr. Siegel as the ideal screenwriter for a film he wanted to make about a broken-down wrestler. 'I thought his combination of humor and drama was really right for the project,' said Mr. Aronofsky.
Hmm... seems this was a 'Based upon your writing of THAT I want to contract you to write THIS" sort of deal. Interesting.
http://www.avclub.com/articles/darren-aronofsky,16743/ DA: Well I think the whole line between what's real and fake became a big theme when Rob and I were talking about it early on, because there's this whole idea of 'Where's the real world'is it in the ring or out of the ring?' That was a main reason why Rob fought to keep the stripper in the film. I was open to changing it, because an independent film with a stripper' I was nervous about it.
AVC: There's one scene where Rourke and Marisa Tomei talk about Kurt Cobain and the '90s sucking, and the '90s being the death of fun. Is that just a function of their age, or are they onto something? DA: [Laughs.] Well, Rob wrote those lines. There were a lot more lines in there that were even funnier, but they just didn't work'the actors struggled with them. But anyway, Rob wrote that work. I'll tell you, it's a big laugh in the movie. The few times it's screened, people love that. It's tapping into something.
AVC: All the music cues are sort of tied in with '80s hair metal. What is it about wrestling and hair metal that went together so well? DA: [Laughs.] All that stuff came from Rob. You must know that he's a big hair-metal fan. We would sit there and he would just tell me these bands. I'd be like, 'Rob, I have to put this song in now'I have to choose between the Scorpions, blah-blah-blah, and Accept, which one should I choose?' He'd be like, 'Scorpions!' So I think he made that connection very well, that those times overlapped. The more it started to come alive, the more we realized how fun and exciting it was. It was a blast trying to go through all that music and choose the right song for the right moment, from the Cinderella song at the beginning to 'Balls To The Wall' at the end.
No, it was an idea I had. When I graduated film school in the early nineties I wrote it down as an idea and then in '02, me and the producer, Scott Franklin, started working on ideas and doing research. We read a script of Rob's and really liked him and brought him on in '05, about the time Mickey came on, to start working on the script. I was in post-production on The Fountain so there was no way I could write it, and I wanted to try to speed up the process, because I was conscious of the six years it had taken me to do The Fountain and I wanted to get something ready to go. So I had already started to work with a bunch of writers on other things. And I really enjoyed it. Bringing a writer to the table is bringing another brain to the collaboration and there were things that only Rob could have brought. Rob was the editor of The Onion for seven years and was a very, very funny guy, understood hair metal, which I didn't, brought that to the script, and definitely had a real sense of humor that he brought to it, and was willing to do the hard lifting, which he did. We would give him notes and he rewrote it maybe 25 times to get it there. We tried a lot of different avenues to get it to work.
http://www.ioncinema.com/news/id/3491 BCM: How did Robert Siegel, a first time screenwriter and former editor of The Onion, come to pen the script? DA: Well, Robert wrote a script that actually just got into Sundance [Big Fan]. It's about an obsessive fan of the New York Giants. I read that script and it was just great. It reminded me of Hal Ashby with all the dark humor but a lot of drama. That was type of vibe I really wanted for this film. He also had seven years of editing under his belt, which didn't hurt. He really brought a lot of interesting things to the table. For example, he has an encyclopedic knowledge of hair-metal music. He knows every hair-metal song in the world! So it was a really interesting collaboration.
Well... In conclusion I'd like to state the fantastically obvious: 1 - This was contract work based off of Siegel's previous work, BIG FAN. 2 - Aronofsky, the director, worked with Siegel on this. A lot. 3 - Siegel had a lot of industry background in writing and connections, which doesn't malign his work here, only that his format transgressions are contaminated by Aronofsky's contributions.
This isn't some schmuck holed up in his apartment banging out a "pure spec screenplay". Maybe I'll still not age and describe insignificant characters, but I'm not gonna start doing much of that other stuff. "BRAACKK BRAACK!" I'm chicken.
Ray, i truly believe you are the definitive proof of extraterrestial life:
Your exhaustive and extremely competent posts indicate that you don't need to -
work eat drink use the toilet exercise relate to the rest of society
WHY? Because you wouldn't have the time!!!
Please submit yourself to the nearest American military base for interrogation, torture and eventual dissection for the greater good of Mankind. If you manage to escape with the help of dedicated children, get in your spaceship and take off!!
Cheers stevie
PS - I've decided to quit work and all family time, so as to free up time to read all this stuff...
- Um... I work fast. - I eat military style, so don't set your hand anywhere near my plate. You may realize I just bit off a couple fingers before I do. - I nurse 2liter diet cokes and Mtn Dooks right at the 'puter. - GOOOD GAWD, going to the bathroom is the biggest waste of my time! - Despite middle age, my inseam remains longer than my waistline (barely), although I'm a legit cardiovascular disaster. After a hundred yards of flat out running my lungs burst into flames. A cloud of ash gouts forth at that point. - People suck. WTH do I wanna relate to them for? My wife and kids think I'm funny*, so p!ss on everyone else. Okay... that's a slight exaggeration, but I TRY to like other people. Really. I do. They just keep letting me down.
(I'm reading the screenplay for PRECIOUS now and have the DVD to watch tonight after the kids goto sleep. I strongly feel not only does the subject matter vindicate my position on people, but so does the audience that is "entertained" by this horrible material. I don't know who's worse. The ugly people or those that watch them?)
I need about... four or five more centuries to get things done. But I'm okay with that.
The military can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man!
*Last night's Bedtime Bible study with the little kids (11, 7 & 5): John 9:1-7 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%209:1%20-%207&version=NIV Now... try reading about Jesus spitting in the dirt, squishing up some mud, rubbing it into the eyes of some poor old blind dude - and have it not sound like some Monty Python bit. "AGHH!!! I've got dirty Jesus spit in my eyes! AGHH!!!" "Poor ole beggar. Mindin' his own bizness and some fruitcake spits in the dirt and rubs spit-mud in his eyes!" "Good thing he wasn't mute, I suppose." "I wonder what Jesus pee-mud cures? Leprosy?"
A bunch of blind, deaf, mute, lame, leprosied and possessed men, women and children stagger through the city streets covered in mud, spit, snot, feces, berry juice, lambs blood and Lord knows what else. Behind the temple, several of Jesus' disciples (faith of mustard seeds) look at each others' filthy hands, spit and snot dribbling from their faces. "Well, d@mn. I saw Jesus do it the other day. Why ain't this working?"
- A line at a time, the following quote appears over a black screen.
Every blade of grass has its Angel that bends over it and whispers, "Grow, grow." The Talmud
Okay. That's one way of doing it. I guess. - FADE IN:
1987 No... declaration of a SUPER? I'll be watching this this evening. I'll get back to you on what they did. (FWIW, this "dysfunctional entertainment" material is deeply disturbing to me. WTF is wrong with people?) * * * EDIT: Yeah, this is a super, and the director, from his commentary, makes it clear that this is HIS film. He hired fletcher and everyone else to work for him. It borders on narcissism. He states multiple times when the film deviates from the screenplay - at whim, as feared. I quit watching after 38 minutes. I loathe this dysfunctional entertainment cr@p. It disgusts me. Close up camera work on Gabby was very nice, though. * * * - Here, for the first time, we see her PLUMP, YOUTHFUL, VACANT AFRICAN AMERICAN FACE. It is 16-YEAR-OLD PRECIOUS JONES. Something inside the bin has caught her attention. OMG. Someone gimme some nitroglycerin. I'm having an angina attack.
D@mn. Twenty pages in and that first bit is about all I can really raise an eyebrow over.
Writer just goes straight into Precious' delusional states, then corrects with PRESENT in the following slug. Numbers aren't spelled out on the elevator ride up, but... sh!t. It's an elevator. They actually do have little numbers that light up, so... whoopee sh!t.
I have to say the shot numbers are pretty d@mn annoying! LOL!
I'm pretty sure page 24's series of shots isn't format proper: INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
A TICKING CLOCK accompanies ...
...misspelled words
...eraser shreds
...tapping feet
...sweat
...giant letters
...tapping thumb
...tapping pencil
...frowns
...giant numbers
...eraser shreds
...sighs
BZZZPFFT!
Precious looks up sharply. Yeaaaaah.
- Precious looks mortified and starts breathing heavily.
RAPID MONTAGE - DOOR SLAMS, MOANS, PANTING, PLATES BREAKING, MEAT SIZZLING, ZIPPERS, GRUNTS, SQUEAKING BED SPRINGS, LAUGHTER, SCREAMS, A RAZOR SLICING YOUNG FLESH, SWEAT and DAYTIME TELEVISION all assault her mind's senses.
Ms. Rain speaks with a dire look of concern on her face but no words come out. That don't look right, either.
- SILENT MONTAGE
...The wheels of a speeding gurney waggle to remain straight.
...Fluorescent lights stream by overhead.
...Name tags dangle from the chests of attendants pushing the gurney.
One we see belongs to a handsome African American Male nurse, JOHN MCFADDEN. He is constantly looking down with a reassuring smile.
...Covered in sweat, Precious screams without our hearing a sound.
EXT. HOSPITAL - DAY
...Two rain drops dance atop a puddle outside .
...Water drips from a tree limb . And that. The writer's montage style flip flops.
Video Interview http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/precious/interview-geoffrey-fletcher Um... dude, you sound like all the other people that made a screenplay out of this. What do you think they're saying about their work? "Aw, man. My sh!t sucks dog balls. IDK WTH I was thinking." Really? Reeeealllly?
http://www.mahalo.com/geoffrey-fletcher Fletcher wrote and directed his own films while working in a variety of temporary positions before becoming an adjunct professor at Columbia University and Tisch School of the Arts. Lee Daniels asked Fletcher to adapt the book Push, a novel by Sapphire into the movie which became Precious.
Another contract write by a guy who's been banging around the biz for a bit. Adjunct professor at Columbia University and Tisch School of the Arts. D@mn. Tha's a mighty fine pedigree. Again, it ain't some schmuck in his BVDs banging out screenplays. This is some serious poop.
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=9758807 And through dedication, they both found their true calling. "Precious" was the first screenplay Fletcher had adapted, a job he given to him by Daniels after viewing his mid-'90s 23-minute short film "Magic Markers."
"I really didn't believe him," Fletcher said. "I had heard 'no' so many times over the years that I thought even if he meant it, he said it too quickly."
http://incontention.com/2010/02/19/interview-geoffrey-fletcher/ Fletcher had never heard of Sapphire�s novel �Push� until director Lee Daniels brought it to his attention. Daniels watched a short film Fletcher (who was teaching film at Columbia and NYU at the time) wrote, directed, shot and edited and reacted quite emotionally to it. He then asked Fletcher to get involved with the project on the spot. It was a milestone moment for Fletcher, who had hit brick wall after brick wall trying to get his foot in the door with the film industry.
http://www.vanityfair.com/onli.....nderella-moment.html At 39, you�re considered a �freshman� in Hollywood. This is your first script ever to make it, and you've got an Oscar nomination. What were you doing all those years before Precious?
I was always writing scripts, and I had made several shorts, before and after film school. But I worked a variety of temp positions over the years. I came close to having a short made into a feature film by John Singleton in 1996, and when it fell through, I sensed there was the possibility of an abyss to come, which there was.
How long of an abyss?
About 11 years. In 2007, I was teaching directing and screenwriting at Columbia and N.Y.U., and I had the chance to meet Lee (Daniels). I showed him the short from 1996, Magic Markers, which drew on French new wave films and films from the Italian neorealist movement, and included dream sequences that translated well to the fantasy sequences in [Precious]. I was so excited about this project that I gave Lee the first 15 pages for free, and it happened from there.
But looking at those years now, to call it an abyss would be a disservice. All the years of struggling and knocking on doors, I wouldn�t trade it; it enabled me to be a better writer, and to identify with different characters more. And I never stopped writing. It provided a sense of hope, warded off the despair. I was doing all of the kinds of mental acrobatics you do to get through. But looking back, I do see more clearly that it was invaluable.
Fletcher: After years of writing and shooting short films, I thought that maybe it was not going to happen. I turned to my brother Todd, who is a composer and screenwriter as well, and told him I was discouraged. In a soft-spoken voice, he said, �Sometimes it�s the darkest before the dawn.� Shortly thereafter I asked Lee Daniels to watch my 23-minute film called Magic Markers. Lee had the rights to Precious and after seeing my film, he brought the book to my attention.
TB: Did you write more than one draft of the script?
Fletcher: The first draft was pretty polished because I did a lot of the homework before I actually started writing.
TB: Did Sapphire have script approval?
Fletcher: Not to my knowledge. I met her when I was just about finished with the script and in an unusual way. I was in the West Village about to take the subway when my phone rang. I took the call after which I ran down the subway and got into a car. It was full except for two seats, one of which I took. I looked at this person very carefully and said �Are you a writer?� She said �Yes.� Then I said, �Are you Sapphire?� She said, �Yes� and introduced herself. I recognized her face only because I had been looking at the back cover of her book for months.
TB: What did you talk about?
Fletcher: We never discussed the script. I told her that I had an extraordinary amount of respect for what she did and how challenging and inspiring it is.
TB: Did your MFA in film directing help in writing the script?
Fletcher: It helped enormously as I looked at it with a very visual eye and that filter was on throughout the entire read. My goal was to honor the spirit and impact of the book, while making it accessible and an exciting visual cinematic experience.
A few weeks of intense reading, thinking and notes and roughly five months to a fairly polished draft.
And on a practical level, what was that five months like? Did you write every day, in the mornings, a few days a week?
It ranged between five and six days a week. It would start in what most people consider normal working hours. Whenever I write, invariably, it shifts to very late at night, sometimes between the hours of midnight and sunrise.
The world outside is so quiet then, and the darkness sort of wraps around you in this very nice way, you can get into a very special space with your thoughts and the world within which you�re working. I saw a number of sunrises throughout the writing process.
Long story short: Dude's been pounding at this craft for years, teaches it at a university level, and makes his own shorts. I think he's lame-as-chicken broth in interviews (they're surprisingly useless), but I like his format the best, so far.
Umm... YOU are the dude bustin my chops for writing sterile, right? YOU are the dude citing to me the works of others to learn from. YOU need to be consistent, if not at least pleasant company. Or am I missing your point, again?
Five bucks says... more than one person will note more than one thing I drag up in this exercise that they will refer back to as a pro or con to use or avoid.
Likely, it is of little benefit to yourself. That does not mean it's of no benefit to anyone else.
- Hot Tub Time Machine Theme Lyrics by Josh Heald Music by Def Leppard, Styx, Journey, Poison, or Whitesnake
Water cranked to a hundred and three Got my tunes, my snacks, my booze, my skis... OMG. The whole first page is a made-up song to be sung by a headliner. - CAMERA PANS DOWN to reveal A HOT TUB FULL OF HOT CHICKS IN BIKINIS. They splash about playfully. Then-- Camera shot. - A FUCKING LION JUMPS IN THE HOT TUB! As the girls SCREAM and scramble for safety, the BEAST ROARS and it becomes the: MGM LOGO Wait, wait, wait. A WHAT jumps in the hot tub? A F#cking lion? Not just a regular lion, but a... f#cking lion. Nice. And I'm guessing this is already a paid or contracted gig? *** After looking through many interviews with the writer and director I see no references to this being a pre-paid gig. I dunno. Something seems weird here. - ANGLE: PHOTO A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS and 20-SOMETHINGS PARTY IN A LARGE HOT TUB at a SKI RESORT. It looks like the most fun ever. Centered camera shot. Interesting way of doing it. - Lily and Adam look through more PHOTOS of a YOUNG ADAM (17) partying at a SKI RESORT with his FRIENDS: -- In full 80s SKI GEAR on a mountain... -- Eating PIZZA at "Papa Enzo's," stuffing their faces... -- Drinking BEERS at the "Brew Haus," an awesome pub... -- In the HOT TUB with SIX GIRLS... Interesting way of doing photos.
Here's a perfect example of synchronized gag lines: LILY Adam, you didn't know me yet. Who's this? Lily shows Adam a PHOTO: ADAM Oh! Jennie. LILY Who's Jennie? ADAM She's nobody. Ski instructor. (off her look) You didn't know me yet. They gotta be the same. Not similar. The same. Writer done good, here. - Just then a BLACK MAN (late 30s, handsome, J Crew) saunters through the bedroom door, holding a coffee and all riled up. Writer's gonna name him in a minute anyway. I don't really know why he continues referring to him as BLACK MAN for a few more lines. - They both stop 10 yards short of a RANGE ROVER, where the black man, NICK, waits in the car, waving. See?! Weird. - ADAM (re: the bags) What'd you bring? Interesting wryly. - Nick's car transitions from the HIGHWAY to the MOUNTAINS to the WOODS, as we track the drive. Finally, the car passes a "Welcome to Havenhurst" sign. This is on page 17 and I gotta admit this is largely pretty straight forward format style. - EXT. HAVENHURST MAIN DRAG - AFTERNOON - EXT. PARKING LOT - EARLY EVENING Bold usage of AFTERNOON in the slug, rather than just DAY or NIGHT.
Okey doke. Page 22. Done with the detail work.
Page 27-28 - Adam CRANKS A KNOB. As the BUBBLES comes to life, we begin a TUBBIN' MONTAGE over Reel 2 Real's "I Like to Move It." -- In the tub, the guys DRINK like fish, pouring various combinations of VODKA, RED BULL, MOUNTAIN DEW, BACARDI, and anything else they can get their hands on. -- Jacob's LAPTOP is propped on the edge of the tub, playing BETTER OFF DEAD. Every so often, one of our guys takes a drink, playing a game, the rules of which only they know. -- Adam takes a big bite of the SANDWICH Lily gave him. -- Nick uses his iPhone to take video and pictures. More drinking games. The guys wear funny HATS and roll dice on a PIECE OF WOOD. Adam has to drink some tub water. -- The guys keep reaching into ADAM'S BACKPACK for MIXERS. -- Nick, Adam, and Lou LAUGH. Then, Lou lifts up Jacob's head, which he has been FORCIBLY HOLDING UNDER WATER. Jacob coughs and spits out water and looks pissed. Then he smiles and helps submerge Nick's head in the same way. -- Slam! Another bottle of vodka killed. Crush! Another empty Red Bull his the patio. -- A BEAR eats some DORITOS that have been left on a PICNIC TABLE. Yards away in the tub, the guys laugh and taunt it. -- Lou BLEEDS from where the bear has obviously SCRATCHED HIM across the chest. Still, he dances in the tub. -- Just for an instant (did we see that?), the guys are 3 BLACK GUYS and ONE WHITE GUY, before changing back. -- The guys wear their SNOWSUITS in the tub. Adam very dangerously jumps in, attached to a SNOWBOARD. -- The CUTS get QUICKER and QUICKER, as hands reach into the backpack. More vodka. More Dew. More Red Bull. More Bacardi... The cuts SPEED UP and INTENSIFY until finally in a BRILLIANT FLASH OF LIGHT, we
EXPLODE TO:
THE SUN RISING JUST ABOVE THE MOUNTAIN PEAKS. 1 - Song specification 2 - Incorrect montage format 3 - "we EXPLODE TO:" WTH?
Pg 35 - ADAM (a la Lethal Weapon 2) Diplomatic immunity. Interesting wryly.
JH: I knew that the title was always going to be polarizing. You’re either going to look at it and say ‘I can’t wait to see Hot Tub Time Machine’ or you’re going to say it’s the stupidest thing ever.
LAist: You’ve also said you wrote the script with Rob Corddry in mind...
JH: Not the most commercial of instincts. You have to pick a voice in your head, and Rob was just Lou. There was no other version of Lou. There are other people who could play that role, probably deliver an interesting performance, or a different take on that performance, but I’ve been a Rob fan since The Daily Show.
LAist: What do you say to folks who think you’ve had a simple climb to the top?
JH: I lived in the worst apartment for two-and-a-half years. Some people have 10 year stories, I have a two-and-a-half year story. I used to read three scripts a day, it would take me nine hours, forty bucks a script, so I’m just trying to make $120 a day, then I’d go home and write. It was lean times. When I sold my first project I was very gracious, and it was not a lot of money, but you’re just reaching those plateaus. Sell something, sell something else, get something made, get something bigger made, you just keep on climbing that ladder.
http://www.darkhorizons.com/interviews/1542/-hot-tub-time-machine-the-cast Born out of a college joke, writer Josh Heald first came up with the idea for HTTM over a decade ago. But once director Steve Pink and the cast came aboard, everyone had a hand in the creative process. “Little of what is in the movie now is actually in the original script,” says Corddry. “The original script was kind of bonkers. My character actually rents a DeLorean thinking it’s going to take him back to the present.”
“There were a lot of rewrites and a lot of improv from the cast,” adds Duke. “A collabo as they call it in the hip-hop world.”
- EXT. SMITH STREET STATION -- BROOKLYN -- NIGHT Note the exclusive usage of double dashes in the slugs and elsewhere. (Didn't stop the PA readers.) - Linda looks great. She's dressed festively but tastefully. How is she dressed? - Next to her is her eleven year old DAUGHTER, ALICIA. She is twirling about the platform, still jazzed from the birthday party they attended in The City. HowTH is the cameraman supposed to shoot that they attended a BD party? - We notice a CHARM BRACELET with four-leaf clovers on her right wrist. "We" do?! - BLUE AND RED LIGHT dances against the stairwell wall where a man is taking the stairs two at a time. Late thirties, big, plain clothes, he is SERGEANT JAMES CRAIG. When he reaches the platform, he stops. This isn't anal retentive proper screenplay format style. Maybe it is possible (GASP!) to intro a character in this fashion without alienating PA readers. - Craig kneels before the white sheet. Peels it back. We stay on him. We don't see what he sees. We just see how he sees it. Then he turns... "We" do?! "We" don't?! "We" do?! Oui, oui! We are tired from participating in this screenplay! - The closest UNIFORM puts a hand on his arm. A moment. Composure. A deep breath. Then as quickly as he went down, he's back up. I honestly like it when a writer makes these choppy sentences. I find the pacing best fits the scene sometimes. - SUBTITLE: "Eight Years Later" Hup! Waitaminit! That's s'posed to be SUPER, not SUBTITLE. - 1 TYLER ROTH, early twenties, handsome, looking haggard. He is 2 sitting on the floor, shirtless, bed head, wrapped in a 3 blanket. A GUITAR is on his lap. Tyler has propped some well 4 worn, hand written pages of MUSIC against a box of off-brand 5 laundry detergent and is squinting at the notes, frustration 6 etched in his face. Heads should roll for such transgressions. Hot on it's heels, though... - 1 Tyler, not a born musician, is trying to teach himself one of 2 the PHRASES OF MUSIC in front of him. He is completely lost 3 in the moment, with DEEP GROOVES in his fingers. By the 4 ASHTRAY next to him, we can tell he's been at this a couple 5 of hours. "We can tell he's" not an orphaned SS alumnus. - TYLER V/O CHOKE & SPIT MY CORNFLAKES ON THE KEYBOARD! WTH is THAT?! - A cluster of MOURNERS stand before a tombstone in the distance. They are not in funeral dress, as this is not a funeral. It's a memorial. OMG.
Um... that page 4 to 6 'memorial' scene never states whose memorial they're arranging painted stones for. Several scenes later 'Micheal' remains a coy mystery. (Later in the story this weak tea mystery comes forth, but the point is the writer doesn't feeled compelled to spoon feed the kindy-garden reader audience - and - the reader was okay with that.)
- One girl, a focused brunette with beautiful eyes, takes notes relentlessly. She is present, absorbing the material. She raises her hand. GIRL Isn't that also an ethical question? Tyler shoots her a glance. He takes in her lovely face, her casual dress, and the CHARM BRACELET with its four leaf clovers. WE REALIZE this is Alicia "Ally" Craig, now 19. GIRL not introed in screenplay format proper and "we realize" that we can chill a little on some of these things. (FWIW, "we're" eleven pages in and this story really isn't grabbing me by the curlys, juno?
Alright, page fourteen. I'm hitting the format burn...
- 1 O/S 2 WE HEAR: a beer bottle crashing on the ground, and from far away a ghostly, plaintive girl's voice disappearing into the night... VOICE 1O/S Michael...4 Mi-i-chael! 1 - Incorrect (O.S.) format 2 - The "We... "s continue 3 - What kind of voice? 4 - Writer writing exactly how the dialect should go. (I was nailed for that by several people on CONDEMNED as a no-no.)
- Who knows what time it is. A lovely ASSORTMENT OF PERPETRATORS, Tyler and the musicians are in lockup. Everybody looks like shit. Tyler sits on a bench in the holding cell, looking quite relaxed. Wow. That first sentence is pretty cavalier.
Okey doke. All done.
Sh!tload of interviews with Pattinson on the web. Not too many on Fetters. Go figure. (I'm shocked and amazed.) (I'm amazed and... never mind.)
http://sharpysunshine.popsugar.com/Delaware-OnLine-Interview-Fetters-7653127 Once Fetters graduated from UD, he placed the first version of the script, written entirely in Delaware, in the front seat of his black 1996 Honda Accord and drove to California. “The ultimate cliche,” says Fetters, who has been living in New York for the past year but is now preparing to move back to California to focus on his screenwriting career. He soon connected with the only person he knew in Hollywood, Brandywine High School graduate Chuck Hayward, who worked for producer Robert Teitel, who produced films like “Barbershop,” “Roll Bounce” and “Notorious.” Once Fetters had an in, he built new friendships and got his script in front of as many eyeballs as he could. The script was sold in January 2009 to Summit Entertainment and the $20 million production was set in New York.
There's some good bits in here about how the audience frequently doesn't understand what a 'twist' is. (* * Personal note: I think 'twist ending' dependent films are often good for only a single viewing, whereas 'a good story' film is good for multiple viewings.) http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/a.....nwriter-will-fetters Fetters began work on what is a very personal script for him in 2004, at the age of 22. The story had been boiling around in his head for about two years since the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks and while trying to go to law school, it took a misunderstanding with Delaware law enforcement to finally find a starting point.
Uh... with more than casual looking, I can't find a single Kim Barker interview. Um... d@mn.
So, to fill up space I'll just C&P the 2009 Worst Screenplay nominees and winner. **WINNER!** Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, screenplay by Ehren Kruger, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, based on Hasbro's Transformers action figures
All About Steve - written by Kim Barker
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - screenplay by Stuart Beattie, David Elliot and Paul Lovett, based on Hasbro's G.I. Joe characters
Land of the Lost - screenplay by Chris Henchy and Dennis McNicholas, based on the television series created by Sid and Marty Krofft
The Twilight Saga: New Moon - screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer
- INT. PAUL'S APARTMENT. BEDROOM - DAY 1 BLINDING WHITENESS 2 We hear a MAN GASPING 3 softly. 4 Rhythmically. A LUMINOUS PALE SHAPE 5 slowly forms out of the searing whiteness. 6 Gradually 7 we realize we're moving across the ALABASTER BODY of a WOMAN. Her skin translucent. OMG. 1 Centered mini-slug immediately after a full slug (as if it was a character!) 2 "We hear... " 3 Softly, 4 rhythmically, 5 slowly, 6 gradually 7 we realize this is why you can't use writer/director screenplays to learn sh!t.
- ON THE WOMAN'S FACE Ethereal. Her eyes closed. Her face lifeless. Then... ...her eyes open. She looks straight at us with unseeing pale blue eyes. This is ANNA (late 20s). We pull back. PAUL (30s) makes love to Anna. Their movements perfunctory. Passionless. He turns to look at her. Realizes she's not there. He suddenly stops. Rolls off her. Sits on the edge of the bed. Shouldn't be ellipsis in the action lines. "No", she doesn't look at us. This is not how spec screenplays intro characters. We pull back... and see just how much a writer/director can do whateverTH she wants.
She must of had a bunch of nube investors read this screenplay before forking over $4.5M, which is quite a bit to pay just to see Christina Ricci's... pieces. (Black Snake Moan was... interesting, BTW.)
- 1 Anna's mother, BEATRICE (50s), sits in bed, knitting with 2 swift, violent precision. The bedside table's stacked 3 with medication. She's clearly been bed-ridden for some 4 time. An electric wheelchair in the corner of the room. 5 Anna appears at the door. Beatrice scrutinizes her for a 6 second. Then returns to her knitting. Just being a wiener here. Format's largely fine.
Page fifteen. Time to cut and run...
- ON REARVIEW MIRROR Paul stands forlornly in the rain. Their eyes meet. ANNA'S CAR She hesitates. For a moment we think she might go back to him... EXT. RESTAURANT. PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS ... but then Anna pulls out and drives away. Leaving Paul alone in the parking lot. The rain pounding the asphalt. I don't know why the writer indented the ANNA'S CAR minislug. But the ellipsis over the EXT. RESTAURANT slug works fine for me.
- INT. FUNERAL HOME. PREP ROOM - EARLY MORNING A large room. Tall vaulted ceilings. White tiles. Soft morning light seeps in from a small round window set high on one wall. The room is silent. Still. Like a chapel. In the semi-darkness we see a BODY on a porcelain slab covered with a white sheet. We hear a key turn in a lock. Then another lock. The room's suddenly flooded with a harsh white light. Eliot steps inside the room. He takes off his jacket. Carefully places it on a coat-hanger. Puts on a pale blue smock then snaps on the latex gloves. His every move meticulous. Measured. Like a ritual. Eliot walks over to the slab, his surgery clogs softly clacking against the tiled floor. He looks at the slab for a moment then slowly pulls the sheet away revealing... ANNA'S BODY. Pale and lifeless. An ugly gash above her eyebrow. Cracked violet lips. A rip in her black dress soaked with a dark stain. She's only wearing one shoe. Eliot gently takes off the watch from her stiff wrist. Places it inside a brown paper bag. Eases off the shoe. Picks up a scalpel from a tray of instruments on a steel trolley. Delicately slices open her dress. Peels it off. He's about to cut the straps of her RED SLIP when... Anna OPENS HER EYES. She looks straight at us with unseeing pale blue eyes. Strangely Eliot's not surprised. He calmly steps back. Watches her carefully. Anna's eyes slowly focus on Eliot. She's groggy. Confused. LOL! ONLY writer/directors can get away with this. And there's a lot more of it later. For spec screenplays learn to hit the ENTER key every few lines.
Pages 53 - 57 have a LOT of slug lines chopping at a pretty good pace of many single, some double and few triple lines of action with almost no dialog.
Writer uses O.C. & O.S. interchangeably.
Done.
Looks like a very somber movie. Very respectful in it's analysis of what goes on behind closed doors at a funeral home. Somehow, I don't think this will watch the same as The Wrestler, which is essentially a very similar situational analysis.
I love vagaries. http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/36824/exclusive-agnieszka-wojtowicz-vosloo-talks-afterlife WTH does this mean? I really would love if the horror industry could get back to its roots, and that starts with focusing on great storytelling. I love to push the envelope and take a lot of risks with my work so hopefully that risk will pay off for After.Life, Blah blah blah. Doesn't communicate sh!t.
http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/interview/640 ... we shot in 25 days in November/December of 2008, we finished two days before Christmas. And then we were editing at the beginning of 2009
BD: Did you write intending to direct? AWV: Yes. While writing it, I was directing it in my head; kind of shaping the whole narrative of it and what I wanted to express, and visualizing things and scenes and setups, and just kind of creating this whole world of the funeral home and the prep room.
BD: Can you talk about the scene with the demon version of Christina that she sees in one of her nightmares? AWV ... in the script it was a more complicated setup - I had these perspective and scale changes, things would be really large and shed be exceptionally small. But on 25 days with a limited budget, we just couldn't realize it. So I kind of had to re-conceive my vision,...
BD: Anchor Bay is the distributor, and they're known for doing great special edition DVDs - have you guys started putting that together? AWV: Oh, totally. 'Im actually doing a commentary next week. And then the special features... I love director commentary. Often better than the film.
This is one of the better interviews. http://womenandhollywood.com/2.....riter-of-after-life/ W&H: This is your first film and you have a A list cast. How did that happen? AWV: They responded to the material. It's really as simple as that. If you create strong characters then actors will always respond. They like original characters that are a bit different. A bit edgier. Liam Neeson was my dream for the part of Eliot, a mysterious funeral director, who seems to possess the ability to transition the dead but who might actually have much darker motives. Liam responded to the script and to what I was trying to say with the story. He liked the idea of posing questions about life and death. Making a film that provokes people to think about their own lives. We met. We had a creative connection. He wanted to hear my vision for the film and had lots of questions and ideas. We spoke about everything from his character to the colors and textures I wanted to use to evoke the mood and the atmosphere of unease and eeriness. I think it was a combination of things.
It was the same with Christina Ricci. A number of actresses were interested in the role frankly there's still such a lack of interesting roles for women. Christina was intrigued by the character. She was fascinated by the idea that maybe our consciousness remains with us after we die and you're able to reflect on your life, which in Anna's case wasn't fully lived to say the least. Even though After.Life is a psychological thriller, for Christina it was a character piece of sorts. Again it was all about the material, a challenging and unusual role and a shared vision for the film.
http://www.fearnet.com/news/interviews/b18738_exclusive_interview_comfort_of_death_in.html Had you sold the film before you wrote it? I totally wrote it on spec, I told my story and knew that once I had a story that was strong enough I was going to get it made or try to get it made. It wasn't an easy journey at all because it's hard enough to find money for smart independent movies as it is. But we had lots of interest from a number of studios and producers, many of them wanted to dumb it down and I was very committed to keeping the story the way I wanted to tell it so I had to find the right partner. It's been a long process, it didn't happen overnight.
With such a strong cast, did you envision people like Liam Neeson and Christina Ricci in these roles while you were writing? For me it all starts with the characters I wrote, I never write with someone specific in mind, I just concentrate on the characters. But once it was ready and I had become very close to these characters and I knew who they were I started to think about casting and Liam was definitely someone that was my dream. He's a very busy man, and has tons of offers, but I wanted to try. We submitted the script and he really loved the script and wanted to meet with me and hear my vision as the director. Our first meeting was like 4 hours long. It's strange when you sit across from someone and see them as the character. I was sitting in front of Elliot in that meeting, not Liam. That's how I felt. As far as Christina, I met with many actresses interested in the role; Christina is not only a great actress but has this ethereal beauty about her that was really important to me and this character. She not only knew and understood this character well; I knew she could bring a lot to it. We had similar views on life and death and she was fascinated by what I was trying to tell in the story.
Looking back, with such a limited budget and shooting schedule, would you have done anything different? Every filmmaker has the same problem, once you put what you had in your head against the reality of a 25-day shoot, any filmmaker will tell you that time is so important. If I had more time, I could have had more coverage and more takes, could have tried all these things I had to simplify. There's always a compromise, it's just the type of compromise you make. It's satisfying to know that I can make a film in 25 days. And the next film will have a bigger budget and a longer shooting schedule so it can only get easier.
- Closer in on one last map grid which fades into a transparency of itself overlaid across the actual location of the suburb. The name of this housing development is "Pleasant Valley". The transparency fades out to reveal: Page one typo Unnecessary text
- We halt outside one house. "We" do? (And "We" do several things on occasion throughout the screenplay, BTW.)
Scene numbers are not appropriate for a spec script, but a writer/director can do WhateverTH they want.
- 1 Suddenly we hear the sound of wings fluttering and see an owl 2 among the branches of the Christmas tree. It rises from the 3 tree then swoops down to the lawn where it sweeps a mouse 4 from the grass. The owl then soars off, casting a magnified 5 shadow of her wings across the house, and disappears with 6 it's prey into the woods behind. Learn to hit the Enter button.
- gates of Pleasant valley gated community. Valley should be capitalized.
Alright. Page sixteen, format's largely fine (screenplay's boring as sawdust, though).
On with the interviews...
http://www.iconsoffright.com/IV_Susan.htm WHILE SHE WAS OUT is actually based on a short story by Edward Bryant. How’d you find the short story? Susan: I was just reading loads of stuff, because I was looking for a film to direct and for any kind of budget. I was looking for a project that I could make guerilla style for $500,000 or something for like $12 million, or anything in between. I was looking for something that didn’t have loads of expensive subplotting and complicated stuff in it... I pulled this story off the shelf and finally read it and thought “This is it.” So we got the rights for it and I adapted it into a screenplay.
Because it was a short story that you were expanding to a full-length feature, what did you add to the story? What were you able to expand upon? Susan: I created obviously some new scenarios, for example the whole sequences in the housing development were definitely not in the story. I expanded on Della’s character, sent her to the mall in the beginning. I elongated the sequence in the beginning and expanded on the boys’ characters. I feel that it’s very, very true to the short story. I just made it contemporary and gave it natural expansion to fit the scenarios and locations.
Kim Basinger plays your lead Della. How’d Kim become a part of this project? Was she someone you had in mind? Or was she just a pleasant surprise during casting? Susan: I had a very short list of actors that I liked for her part. I hadn’t really thought about her initially, but then I went to meet with CAA and they mentioned her, and she just seemed so perfect that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of her myself. And then they called me up and said, “Do you want to meet up with Kim?” And I said, “Absolutely, I’d love to meet with her. I’d be highly delighted to do so.”... I wrote the script so that I could make it anywhere. The dialogue was neutral, there was no American slang or anything. But when she came on I changed it to be more American, because obviously we were going to make it an American movie with her as the lead.
You mentioned Guillermo Del Toro before. He’s an executive producer on this and he helped you a great deal on this movie. How’d you initially hook up with Del Toro? Susan: Well, I met Guillermo when I first moved to Los Angeles and we all became friends. We are going to do AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS together, the Lovecraft story.
http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/interview/523 BD: How did you get the chance to break in and make this film? SM: I moved to Hollywood to make a Manson Family film with Vincent Gallo starring as Manson. We were locking up the locations when 9-11 hit. At that point the film really just fell apart and never really came together again. The studios just were not into making a film about him while all the terrorist things were happening. It was also a fairly expensive and complicated script. I would still like to make the Manson story, now I have been envisioning it as a TV series, like The Sopranos! At that point I was just thinking that the easiest way to get something made was to just write something really simple that I could make for $500,000 rather than $50 million. So I wrote the script, very quickly actually, based on a short story that was really gripping. At that point I was ready to make this movie on credit cards in the backyard, I was going to do anything to get this movie made, that’s when Kim Basinger came onboard.
http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/topnews.php?id=8793 ShockTillYouDrop.com: While She Was Out is based on a short by Edward Bryant. Was it difficult convincing him that you were the right person to adapt this? Susan Montford: I was looking for something to write and direct, be it $500 thousand or a million, whatever I could get. I tried to direct a very elaborate film I wrote about the Manson family. It was all set to go then 9/11 hit and everything fell apart. I tried to get it going again. I was ready to do a movie guerilla-style and I came across Ed's story and I thought that was it. It was just a simple, very direct story with no sub-plots. Don Murphy: While She Was Out was actually published as a chapbook, it was an eight or nine page story. Susan had read it and the interesting thing was when I contacted Ed's people, you figure a relatively obscure short story would be available. But it was interesting because this story had been under option since 1994 consistently by this guy who had done one movie as a producer, Excalibur, and he kept renewing the story. As lady luck would have it, after Susan decided it was something she wanted to do, I contacted Ed's agents and the option had just come up. We then forged ahead, Susan wrote a hundred million drafts and here we are.
I'm sorry to keep beating this horse, but... After reading these interviews for these seven films (remember - there were none for ALL ABOUT STEVE!) of course these writers all have pat answers to obvious questions by different reporters/writers/publications, and they usually stick to the same stuff. I just LOVE! how Montford's stated price tag always begins at $500K but wildly swings on the upper side.
http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/136054/susan_montford_interview.html How did While She Was Out come about? Were you a fan of the short story? ... I first moved to [LA] to direct an elaborate film... It fell apart... I then spent several years trying to put it back together, wrote a bunch of scripts and put a bunch of projects in to development...I then realised that the only way I was going to get to actually direct was if I wrote something that I could make for any amount of money from $500,000 to 20 million and shoot it anywhere in the world. While I was thinking about this I came across the short story and realised it was perfect. It had all the potential to be turned into a straightforward, hardcore survival tale with no complex –expensive! - subplots.
After [Kim Basinger] committed I reworked the boy’s dialogue in the script to be American slang. I had deliberately kept their dialogue neutral previously so I could shoot the film anywhere.
The Numbers: Budget $6,000,000 (estimated) Theatrical Performance Total US Gross $29,784 (No. That is not a typo). Ouch!
Alright, as imperfect as the screen results were, I found this exercise to very educational.
For anyone who cares, my next little project will be to review recent Academy Award winning and nominated original and adapted screenplays - and - Razzie winners and nominated.
Useful analysis. Goes to show you that, while important, formatting is probably not a deal-breaker for a writer with connections and/or talent, so much as a convenient and more objective excuse for a Reader to thin the herd of rejectable scripts. Grating as all hell for those of us on the outside looking in, but not at all unusual in publishing/entertainment industries where it's easier to know when to reject something than to be able to explain why it's rejected.
Spot on. This project I've take upon myself to examine really emphasizes how important it is to build connections and develop professional relationships MORESO than to develop a killer screenplay. That is shown through the interviews in conjunction with the analysis/reviews.
Professionalism. Professionalism. Professionalism. Not just in craft, but also in relationships. Largely that's how I chose to conduct my behavior on this message board. I suspect a fairly decent screenplay may be rejected simply because no one wants to work with an a$$. Lord knows we see a ridiculous number of cr@p movies made, likely because the cr@p screenplay had fun people working together p!ssing away someone else's money.
I'd rather be paid than be "great" in my own little imagination. My belly growls after a while of eating a diet of self-aggrandizement. And then my kids start hassling me "Daddy, daddy. I'm hunnnngry!"
There is no way I could take in that amount of detail, but I gaat the picture!!!
Ray, thanks. Many here may know this already but it is news to me. Well most things around here are news to me.
It doesn't surprise me that the world is not as open as we hoped, not as clean, not as possible. To be honest I have seen this elsewhere.
However, in this biz, hope does appear to be a strong driver, more than other industries I have seen. So I can see the illusion created and the worthiness of what you have reported.
I think it always healthy to have a reality check and you have provided this.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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