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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Character Descriptions Moderators: George Willson
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Felipe
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 6:01pm Report to Moderator
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Hey everyone,

I've been doing some research on character descriptions and would love to hear what everyone here has to say on the matter.

Some people prefer very short descriptions only mentioning a character's age, while others prefer something more. What do you think?

Rather than simply making a thread about what we like or don't like, I thought it would be interesting to hear if you guys had any favorites. Do any specific character descriptions come to mind? They can come from professional scripts or even your own work, as long as they accurately portray the kind of character descriptions that you like to see in scripts.

Ready. Set. Go.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 6:07pm Report to Moderator
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Don't have any examples but in the past I used to have short ones. My thinking was that the character shoud come across in what he says and does and any description of him was redundant.

I have changed my position on this. It appears to be standard practice to describe them quite fully when first introduced.  It lets the reader picture him upfront and so they know exactly what they're dealing with.
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dogglebe
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 6:16pm Report to Moderator
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Here's some character descriptions from an old script I'm rewriting:


Quoted Text
WHITEY (40) fishes through a garbage can.  His unkempt PLATINUM-COLORED hair hangs past his shoulders, onto a tattered coat.



Quoted Text
REBECCA GOTTESMAN (25) steps from a parked car.  She straightens her miniskirt and zips up her leather jacket as the car drives off.  Her girl-next-door beauty is hidden under layers of makeup.



Quoted Text
Elevator doors open.  PAULIE (35) and SISSY (35) step out.  Bigger than life, the two are almost caricatures of action heroes.  Both have PLATINUM HAIR.

They wear matching leather dusters and cowboy hats.  He has a Fu Manchu mustache.


After a bit of dialog, I add to Paulie's description with:


Quoted Text
He pulls a ponytail from his duster.


I continued with his description even more a little later.  Don't feel you have to tell us everything about the character right away.


Phil
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leitskev
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 6:28pm Report to Moderator
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My guess is that when most people start writing everything tends to get over-described. We tend to draw on novel writing as the model. Then we learn to go lean and mean. And finally, when we're comfortable with that, we start selectively adding a little color back to all kinds of descriptions, including characters. At that point hopefully we have a better sense of how to do it efficiently.

Nothing wrong with entertaining and impressing the reader with your skill a little. That credibility earns you points you can cash in later, such as if you want to bring the reader through a difficult scene without losing him.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 6:53pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Don't have any examples but in the past I used to have short ones. My thinking was that the character shoud come across in what he says and does and any description of him was redundant.

I have changed my position on this. It appears to be standard practice to describe them quite fully when first introduced.  It lets the reader picture him upfront and so they know exactly what they're dealing with.


I actually agree with your first stance; but I'll qualify that to say: only to a point and only so far. I don't believe in being deliberately curt, but sometimes it can be afforded and sometimes not. It might have a lot to do with the "set up" (not THE SETUP) but the words that frame the actual description-- that's what I mean. For instance:

If you show a woman, before she's actually introduced as meticulously painting her nails, and that's before you've breathed one word about her age, name or race or any of that, you've spoken loads.

Check out the last Killer game. Tell us and let us know what characters stood out for you. It might help us all. I know some of mine, but my opinion is askew because I had studied the character profiles along the way and during the game.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 7:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.


I actually agree with your first stance; but I'll qualify that to say: only to a point and only so far. I don't believe in being deliberately curt, but sometimes it can be afforded and sometimes not. It might have a lot to do with the "set up" (not THE SETUP) but the words that frame the actual description-- that's what I mean. For instance:

If you show a woman, before she's actually introduced as meticulously painting her nails, and that's before you've breathed one word about her age, name or race or any of that, you've spoken loads.

Check out the last Killer game. Tell us and let us know what characters stood out for you. It might help us all. I know some of mine, but my opinion is askew because I had studied the character profiles along the way and during the game.

Sandra


There was a thread on here that got quite heated a while ago. Last time I looked at it I felt a bit embarrassed by my contribution...everything I said seemed to cause an argument, and I wasn't trying to.

But essentially my position was yours. We talked about a script written by Tony Gilroy, Duplicity. There were lots of things in it that I thought were wrong.

For instance there was one character described as "A velvet switchblade"...which is a lovely description in of itself...suggests someone who is smooth, but snaps and changes in a second.

But in the script, all he did was offer kindly advice.

That's the danger of descriptions in some ways...you splurge an interesting one out, then forget to actually make them do anything to justify it.

It was the old unfilmmable argument in a nutshell and so much of the style of that script failed to make it to the screen for the film because of the way it was written.

So, theoretically...I'm with you.

However, when I say it's standard practice, I mean that it's simply accepted procedure in professional circles.

The Producers like to have a little bit to tell them exactly who is who...he's a hardened criminal...got it...she's the town bike...got it....so they can get the gist of the story as fast as possible.

It also helps the costume department, things like that.

Basically, whatever the theory...it's kind of irrelevant. To the people your're going to be shopping your scripts to...they want it in.

So my position is now this: Write interesting, stylish and even "unfilmmabe" character descriptions when we first meet your cast...just make sure you back up those claims with something tangible later on. So in your example..by all means introduce her painting her nails but then feel free to tell us all about her in a sentence or two. Best of both worlds, if you like.
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bert
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 7:26pm Report to Moderator
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One of my favorites, from a script I reference often in these types of threads.

Code

BUTTERCUP is in her late teens; doesn't care much about
clothes and she hates brushing her long hair, so she isn't
as attractive as she might be, but she's still probably the
most beautiful woman in the world.



Isn't that wonderful?  It is from Princess Bride, by Bill Goldman.  Worth a read by any novice who already knows enough not to mimic his formatting.  Probably my favorite script I've ever read, though it is not for everyone.


Quoted from Rick
Write interesting, stylish and even "unfilmmabe" character descriptions when we first meet your cast...just make sure you back up those claims with something tangible later on.


The more I read, the more I agree completely with this.  I would only add keep it short.  Do not go overboard with this kind of stuff.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 7:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films


Basically, whatever the theory...it's kind of irrelevant. To the people your're going to be shopping your scripts to...they want it in.

So my position is now this: Write interesting, stylish and even "unfilmmabe" character descriptions when we first meet your cast...just make sure you back up those claims with something tangible later on. So in your example..by all means introduce her painting her nails but then feel free to tell us all about her in a sentence or two. Best of both worlds, if you like.


Thank you very much. I understand what you are saying. I hope to apply it as best I can.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 8:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from bert
One of my favorites, from a script I reference often in these types of threads.

Code

BUTTERCUP is in her late teens; doesn't care much about
clothes and she hates brushing her long hair, so she isn't
as attractive as she might be, but she's still probably the
most beautiful woman in the world.



Isn't that wonderful?  It is from Princess Bride, by Bill Goldman.  Worth a read by any novice who already knows enough not to mimic his formatting.  Probably my favorite script I've ever read, though it is not for everyone.


The more I read, the more I agree completely with this.  I would only add keep it short.  Do not go overboard with this kind of stuff.


Yes. And what makes it wonderful is that it's very clear for the actor/actress to work with. If I'm reading a script and I need to "act it", I can "just brush my unruly locks" (and yes they are unruly like my own real character as attested by Michael Cornetto) or I can struggle with them or not bother as the case may be. This is very indicative of underlying issues. And...

There are always issues.   That's what we're after in a script. What are they? How are they depicted?

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 9:22pm Report to Moderator
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In screenwriting a picture is indeed worth a thousand words.  A thousand words that you don't have.  I'd keep them brief and provide key information about their physical appearance and personality,  And I'm not talking about, blue, brown, green eyes. or whether they have blonde hair, or shit like that.  Does it really matter to your story?  Probably not.  In the rare instances when a certain physical trait is vital to the story, then it's fine, but outside that, JMHO it's wasted space.  


ARIANNA, 30s, hair pulled back, no make-up, throws on a silky cover-up.  An alluring sexual creature, all dark charisma with a dangerous appeal.

Ghostie



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Felipe
Posted: December 8th, 2011, 12:20pm Report to Moderator
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I really like Rick's advice. It might even create a moment for the reader if your character description has a payoff later.

I'm currently working on a feature and while I would or mall not include something like eye color, it is crucial to this story. One of my characters is seen at 2 different stages of his life and the eyes are the clue to them being the same person.

I think the problem I'm having with character descriptions really stems from a bigger issue. I didn't spend enough time getting to know my characters before jumping into the writing. I'm 35 pages in and I'm finally realizing I need to get to get to know my main character more before continuing.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.

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Felipe  -  December 8th, 2011, 2:03pm
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dogglebe
Posted: December 8th, 2011, 1:33pm Report to Moderator
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I recommend that you stop writing and work on your characters.  They come first.  If the reader doesn't care about them; they won't care what happens to them.


Phil
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Felipe
Posted: December 10th, 2011, 4:36pm Report to Moderator
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That's what I've been working on.

What methods do you guys use to flesh out characters? I know some people use questionnaires they have the characters answer. I usually write out a bio with important events.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
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CindyLKeller
Posted: December 10th, 2011, 11:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Felipe


I'm currently working on a feature and while I would or mall not include something like eye color, it is crucial to this story. One of my characters is seen at 2 different stages of his life and the eyes are the clue to them being the same person.

I think the problem I'm having with character descriptions really stems from a bigger issue. I didn't spend enough time getting to know my characters before jumping into the writing. I'm 35 pages in and I'm finally realizing I need to get to get to know my main character more before continuing.


As for the eyes, I don't think you need to describe his eyes down to the color UNLESS there is something unique about them.

If you want us to know that your character is the same person by using his eyes, you could end a scene with him looking at something, then have the next scene of him (at a different age) looking at something in a similar way.

You could even have another character call out that character's name and have him turn toward them.

As for knowing your characters, what I do is base my characters loosely on people that I already know, then I give my characters a little push to amp them up and make them more interesting.

In basing them on people I already know, I have a good idea of how my characters are going to react to different situations.

Hope you've made some sense and gotten some help from my ramblings.

Cindy


Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
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Felipe
Posted: December 11th, 2011, 10:52pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks Cindy, that makes perfect sense.
I don't think I was clear enough though. I don't necessarily want people to realize that they are the same person. It comes as somewhat of a twist. I put the eyes in there as one of the clues.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
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Baltis.
Posted: December 12th, 2011, 1:37am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Felipe
Thanks Cindy, that makes perfect sense.
I don't think I was clear enough though. I don't necessarily want people to realize that they are the same person. It comes as somewhat of a twist. I put the eyes in there as one of the clues.


To be honest, this is going to trip you up... You have to realize you aren't writing a clever novel with twist and turns, but a direct blue print of a movie and what "WE" see.  Can it still be clever?  Yes, of course.  But it should also be almost elementary in obvious deliver of what's important to each scene.  We have to see everything that's important or we risk losing it all.
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Felipe
Posted: December 12th, 2011, 2:53am Report to Moderator
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Sorry, I should also mention it's all very clear that they are the same person when it is supposed to be. The color of the eyes is just a little hint. It's not really a thing that people have to remember or else nothing will make sense. I'm just trying to have my character descriptions have some payoff later in the script. I'm not trying to be clever or write a novel.

Thanks for the pointers though. I will keep it in mind as I continue writing.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
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