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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Starting with a dream... Moderators: George Willson
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 7th, 2012, 4:00pm Report to Moderator
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I am beginning to plan a feature script and would like to start this with a dream.

I would appreciate people's comments on the following questions;

1] I have read that normally you start a dream sequence by stating it is one so that the reader knows and then identifying it's end. Is it OK NOT to let the reader know this is a dream until the end? Don't want to break a rule on the first page! I don't see why not, after all this is what i envisage the viewer will see.

2] Are there any no no's about starting with a dream - just better check.

3] Does anybody know of a decent script which starts with one - could be useful to read and compare.

Comments appreciated.

All the best.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Pale Yellow
Posted: January 7th, 2012, 4:08pm Report to Moderator
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Nighmare on Elm Street 2 and Risky Business all that comes to mind right now.
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Andrew
Posted: January 7th, 2012, 4:11pm Report to Moderator
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Talking of Tom Cruise, Vanilla Sky opens with a dream. Pretty sure the script is available here. Great script, too.


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Mr.Ripley
Posted: January 7th, 2012, 4:18pm Report to Moderator
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Jacob's Ladder. I don't want to give too much away about it but it's a good read dealing with dreams. I've got the film.


Gabe


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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jwent6688
Posted: January 7th, 2012, 4:34pm Report to Moderator
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I think you will serve your script better if you leave DREAM SEQUENCE out of the slug. Let the reader find out at the end as the audience would. Unless you want it painfully obvious that its a dream to serve a purpose...

James


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leitskev
Posted: January 7th, 2012, 5:02pm Report to Moderator
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I agree with James.
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sniper
Posted: January 7th, 2012, 7:21pm Report to Moderator
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Reef,

Think of it this way, do you want the audience to know it's a dream from the get go? No? Then leave it out. If I was watching it on the screen how would I know it was a dream anyway? You're not gonna put a title card up there stating it's a dream, are you? Cos that would be a first in cinematic history.

On a related, I think opening with a dream is a major no-no in itself because that's so old and used.


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 8th, 2012, 10:20am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Folks, that's all very useful.

I will look up those scripts mentioned.

Sniper - thanks for that feedback, as you can tell from the question I was wondering about it. I have a specific reason for using a Dream to start, but I will make sure I stand back and question whether there is another way.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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RayW
Posted: January 8th, 2012, 10:28am Report to Moderator
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Also read the first few pages of PRECIOUS.

Frequently Precious has delusions that veer off of her present reality and only as the end of the delusion approaches is the reader/audience acutely aware of the digression.



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Dreamscale
Posted: January 8th, 2012, 10:32am Report to Moderator
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I'll buck the system, as I usually do.

IMO, you definitely need to label it as a dream.  In a filmed version, because of the visuals, it is much easier to understand when it's a dream - it can be/is filmed differently - it shows things that are "a bit off" like dreams are, etc.

IMO, it's a cheat to not label a dream or Flashback in a script, as it definitely will cause your readers to pause and even say WTF, as things most likely won't make a whole lot of sense, being that it's a dream.

It's 1 thing to start with a dream and not label it, but it's much more confusing when a dream occurs later in the script.  Think about it...see what I'm saying?

The other thing is that Pro scripts and writers are assumed to be...well...Pro level, so if something doesn't make sense, there's a reason why.  The same cannot be said for amateur writers - and readers.

IMO, not labeling dreams and Flashbacks is a cheat in a script.  It's purposely pulling the wool over your readers eyes.  Doing this in a film is a completely different animal, although it can still be irritating, and is widely looked down on.

I would recommend labeling it just like a Flashback (not in the actual Slug, in case the dream or Flashback continues through several different Slugs).  You'll need to end it as well.  IMO, the best way to do this is using "BEGIN FLASHBACK:" (or dream), and then "END FLASHBACK." (or dream).
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leitskev
Posted: January 8th, 2012, 10:55am Report to Moderator
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Make an impression on the reader, Reef. That's what counts. If not labeling as a dream causes confusion which annoys the reader, probably not a good idea. But if you can do it in a way that allows the reader to experience this as the audience would, then it's worth doing. One thing I am definitely picking up from people that read a lot of scripts as that they do want to be surprised and entertained. It makes a HUGE difference in their reaction to a script. However, they certainly don't want to be confused, so be careful.

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leitskev  -  January 8th, 2012, 3:02pm
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 8th, 2012, 2:58pm Report to Moderator
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Ray, Kevin, Jeff -thanks. As per usual the SS community gives back.

i appreciate it all.

I don't think i have seen a question raised where everyone agreed, but i'm not sure thats the point. After all we are all grown up and have to make decisions ourselves, the question is whether as writer we made a choice based on knowledge and logic, rather than hope. We have to take responsibility.

On balance i will keep with the dream to start, admittedly a risk, and then not inform the reader from the beginning. Why? Well in my mind the reader should see what the viewer will. In my head the scene will not be a soft focus fuzzy number but actually appear like the real start - so thats what i want the reader to think as well. It will only happen once and i have my own reasons!!

If i write it in a way that would annoy the reader, then i have failed, if i write it so that the reader appreciates it was just the start of the movie, but in a different place to what they expected, then maybe it will work.

Should i write this, i will post it here for the usual kicking and feedback.

thanks everyone.

PS - Oh, i think this probably can fall off the portal now - it has run its course.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Sophie
Posted: January 15th, 2012, 4:54pm Report to Moderator
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A dream (nightmare) pretty early on in Aliens.
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dogglebe
Posted: January 15th, 2012, 5:03pm Report to Moderator
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James called it.  If you don't want the reader to know it's a dream, then don't say it.


Phil
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GerryBuilt
Posted: August 14th, 2012, 8:38am Report to Moderator
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That's it man, game over man, game over!!!

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Quoted from Dreamscale
IMO, you definitely need to label it as a dream.  In a filmed version, because of the visuals, it is much easier to understand when it's a dream - it can be/is filmed differently - it shows things that are "a bit off" like dreams are, etc.

IMO, it's a cheat to not label a dream or Flashback in a script, as it definitely will cause your readers to pause and even say WTF, as things most likely won't make a whole lot of sense, being that it's a dream.

I would recommend labelling it just like a Flashback (not in the actual Slug, in case the dream or Flashback continues through several different Slugs).  You'll need to end it as well.  IMO, the best way to do this is using "BEGIN FLASHBACK:" (or dream), and then "END FLASHBACK." (or dream).

Bumping this up again... I need some advice on a dream sequence, and a search found this post; but I need a little more advice.  

I definitely would label the dream sequence/flashback - this isn't a novel or story - it is a script, and you are informing the other artists that are going to help deliver your story.  A flashback is going to be filmed differently to the rest of the story.  In my own dream sequence (which starts my short); the character has a recurring dream whilst in 'cold sleep'.  I'm going to have artistic input on this short; and I see it as being colour-graded to be cold (blue, desaturated, over exposed)... so basically, I'm hitting all the clichés (but they are clichés for a reason). For the format, I am thinking:

FADE IN

EXT.  ABANDONED CARPARK - DAY

BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE

A small car park, with several cars in various states of abandon; doors ajar, windows open, parked askew.

POV: A lone female, HANNAH (40), is revealed.  Dressed in a loose, nightgown, gently ruffled by the wind. She turns slightly, staring-off vacantly, oblivious to the presence of any others.

                                     JAMES COBURN (O.S.)
                                (despairingly)
                         Hannah!

END DREAM SEQUENCE

FADE TO BLACK

...thoughts re formatting?  This will be the first time I have either character in the film; is it okay to reference James' character if he has not yet been introduced?

I'm thinking of this shot fading in to a tracking shot of the road then tilting up to reveal Hannah, then James' arm enters the shot - reaching for Hannah, then tracking back along the road quickly as it fades to black... then the story-proper will open...

Also - having just Googled the characters' name - I will be changing it somewhat... but at least I know why it had a nice ring to it


GerryBuilt: Blog - IMDB
Theatre of the Dead (Post-production) - Set Carpenter / Scenic Art
Winning the Fox Hunt (Short) - Art Director ("Lights! Canberra! Action!" Winner 2012)
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