Gerry, I think your dream sequence is formatted just fine, but there are some issues here.

Obviously James Coburn is a famous cool cat, but more importantly, why would you use his first and last name in a dialogue box?

Also, what's with the POV?  Who's POV is it?  Be careful with POV's.  They are a blatant camera direction and IMO, should only be used when "the view" is different - from a different angle, to show a different angle (up, down, etc), to show that whatever the POV is from "sees" differently than other things.

For instance, if you have a bunch of peeps hiking on a steep slope, you can use the POV to show the drop off.  Or, maybe they're walking over a suspension bridge, and you want to show how far down the water is below.  Or maybe you have someone hiding under a bed and want to show what they see, so we get the feel of being in their shoes.

Then, we have "creature or killer" POV's, in which we see through their eyes.  Maybe the killer is wearing a mask, so we see a different look.

Otherwise, don't use a POV.

Quoted from Dreamscale Gerry, I think your dream sequence is formatted just fine, but there are some issues here. Obviously James Coburn is a famous cool cat, but more importantly, why would you use his first and last name in a dialogue box? Also, what's with the POV?  Who's POV is it?  Be careful with POV's.  They are a blatant camera direction and IMO, should only be used when "the view" is different - from a different angle, to show a different angle (up, down, etc), to show that whatever the POV is from "sees" differently than other things. For instance, if you have a bunch of peeps hiking on a steep slope, you can use the POV to show the drop off.  Or, maybe they're walking over a suspension bridge, and you want to show how far down the water is below.  Or maybe you have someone hiding under a bed and want to show what they see, so we get the feel of being in their shoes. Then, we have "creature or killer" POV's, in which we see through their eyes.  Maybe the killer is wearing a mask, so we see a different look. Otherwise, don't use a POV.

Thanks for the advice, Dreamscale... My scripts are primarily written for my film crew, in which I have direct input - however, I'll avoid direct instruction when posting here and keep that with my Storyboards.  I guess the fact it is a Dream Sequence probably infers that POV is the way to shoot it, anyhow?

I have the first and last name for this character because in the script, he is referred (by other characters) by both his first and surname, variously. He is a 'patient' at a medical facility.  No other character will be.