SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 28th, 2024, 8:49pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Character Names in Loglines? Moderators: George Willson
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 5 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Character Names in Loglines?  (currently 4283 views)
Felipe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 1:28am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Los Angeles, CA
Posts
437
Posts Per Day
0.10
I've been reading a bunch of loglines and notices most people don't include character names in their loglines. Is this an unwritten rule that I don't know about? What do you guys think?

I have a script where the title is directly related to the main Character's name and makes more sense if you know his name. Should I include the name in the logline? It definitely flows better without his name in it, but I'm wondering if having a name in the logline is actually frowned upon.

Thanks for the help!


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Logged Offline
Private Message
CoopBazinga
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 2:02am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Perth, Australia
Posts
1175
Posts Per Day
0.26
I don't think there is any unwritten rule to say but why mention a name in the logline unless the reader knows who it is.

Why tell us "Dave and Colin are two ordinary guys ready to party but they'll have to get past their greatest challenge yet, starting the car" I made that up on the spot by the way. Did knowing their names matter, of course not, it could have just been "Two guys" or "Two party goers"

On the same note if your title is for example "Forsaking John" I don't think it matters if you mention John in the logline especially as his name is in the title.

That's just my thoughts anyway but I'm new to this. I would actually be interested in what more experienced writers think about this so it's a good question Cinemachado.

Steve
Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 19
ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 3:25am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
A helluva long way from LA
Posts
1565
Posts Per Day
0.29
There should be no character names in loglines.  If it's about someone famous and that's a hook, go for it.  But it should be generic.  Not too mention character names are meaningless to the reader and can crowd and confuse the logline.    

Good Luck

Ghostie



Revision History (1 edits)
ghost and_ghostie gal  -  January 11th, 2012, 4:01am
Logged
Private Message Reply: 2 - 19
dogglebe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 8:29am Report to Moderator
Guest User



Unless we know who it is, don't use names, especially if you're referring to multiple characters.

The lives of three college students go to hell after they stand up the same girl.

is a better logline than

Steve, Michael and Bob's lives go to hell after they stand up Cindy.

By saying they're college students, you tell us more about them than using their names.


Phil
Logged
e-mail Reply: 3 - 19
Felipe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 9:22am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Los Angeles, CA
Posts
437
Posts Per Day
0.10
Thanks guys. My title doesn't make sense just by reading the logline, but it makes sense from reading the script. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot because no one likes the title, but I guess that's a risk I'm going to have to take.

Example:

Title:Juliet

Logline: After losing his job due to his sexuality, a gay man enlists the help of a young female attorney to get his justice. He ends up getting more than he bargained for when he begins to develop feelings for her.

vs.

Logline: After losing his job due to his homosexuality, Romeo enlists the help of a young female attorney to get his justice. He ends up getting more than he bargained for when he begins to develop feelings for her.

This is not my logline as I just randomly made it up. My point is. If I don't mention his name in the title, people see no reason to Title it Juliet. My example isn't really like that but I'm just trying to find another way where a character name clarifies the title a bit.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Felipe  -  January 11th, 2012, 10:31am
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 4 - 19
dogglebe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 9:25am Report to Moderator
Guest User



Referring to the main character as 'the gay man' has more impact than referring to him as 'Romeo.'


Phil
Logged
e-mail Reply: 5 - 19
Felipe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 9:37am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Los Angeles, CA
Posts
437
Posts Per Day
0.10
I agree. Just didn't know if it created a problem with the name. Same goes with my logline. It's better without the name, but I don't know if that creates an issue with the title. Thanks again for the help!


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 19
bert
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 9:44am Report to Moderator
Administrator


Buy the ticket, take the ride

Location
That's me in the corner
Posts
4232
Posts Per Day
0.61
There are a great many Movie Poet members who also frequent these boards, so be cautious as to how much of your actual logline you disclose here.

I am not exactly sure how Chris handles things like this -- but if your anonymity is compromised over here, he just might give you the boot (from this particular contest) over there...

EDIT:  And please, please, please -- do not include, "...more than he bargained for."


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
Logged
Private Message Reply: 7 - 19
Felipe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 9:51am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Los Angeles, CA
Posts
437
Posts Per Day
0.10
I was very careful in my wording and the example I gave is actually very different from my actual logline. I just had to come up with a way to make a name relevant. In either case, after the suggestions, it will be impossible to tell which is mine. Thanks for the tip though.

EDIT: I always get a laugh out of that phrase. Don't worry. I wouldn't include it in a serious logline.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 19
dogglebe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 10:50am Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from bert
EDIT:  And please, please, please -- do not include, "...more than he bargained for."


How about, "Hilarity ensues when..."


Phil

Logged
e-mail Reply: 9 - 19
Felipe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 11:23am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Los Angeles, CA
Posts
437
Posts Per Day
0.10
Haha, even better.


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 10 - 19
ajr
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 11:35am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Posts
1482
Posts Per Day
0.28
Holy crap - proper names in loglines AND "more than he bargained for" in the same thread? Are you guys TRYING to bait me here? Huh, are you? Huh?


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 11 - 19
Felipe
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 11:48am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Los Angeles, CA
Posts
437
Posts Per Day
0.10
Billy needs a girlfriend, but hilarity ensues when he gets more than he bargained for.

Is that good?


'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 12 - 19
Electric Dreamer
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 11:56am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

Location
Los Angeles
Posts
2740
Posts Per Day
0.55
Using a common noun over a proper one usually gives more flavor to the logline.
Proper names will rarely deliver that enticement needed to attract folks.

For instance:

Jim can't lie for 24 hours after his estranged son makes a birthday wish.
OR
A trial lawyer can't lie for 24 hours after his estranged son makes a birthday wish.

Which one sounds more like a movie to you?

Hook them with an intriguing premise, don't pigeon hole yourself with details.

E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 13 - 19
ajr
Posted: January 11th, 2012, 2:14pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Posts
1482
Posts Per Day
0.28
Here's the worst sort of offender - I cringe when I see this:

"Billy Smith, a small-time drug dealer, yada yada yada..."

It's not an essay for English class - we don't care what the drug dealer's name is at this point....


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 14 - 19
 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Screenwriting Class  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006