Quoted from LKD Far far too much to read in a few moments and contemplate properly. I will certainly do so because every bit that I read clicks and makes sense to the plots of so very many movies that are out there. A re-write is decidedly coming from me when I am in the proper environment in a couple weeks.

Good, glad my suggestions made sense and inspired you toward your upcoming rewrite..

Quoted from LKD I do want to note one thing that is important to me above all else. And a lot of the reason that I started this story. I am disappointed that so many female heroes are portrayed like Underworld, or Salt, or Catwoman, et cetera. I really want her to be someone that women can relate to, understand, and identify with. Who could see her tumultuous start and say that, 'I wouldn't do that, but I know someone who did'.

Try not to impose your own agenda onto your script because of how you think women are portrayed. Just write the screenplay..

Quoted from LKD The reason I wish, and bless you for noting this so I understand my intention with the proper verbiage, the second protagonist (who'll definitely be re-writen as a surrogate antagonist) to kill the bad genie is that she has no fighting experience, no reason to be capable of defeating a magical genie who would know very well how to defend himself. I personally am so very bothered when a character suddenly turns out to be an expert because the story needs one at that moment when in reality, they shouldn't be capable of accomplishing that.

Unless you are an experienced screenwriter where you can grapple with multiple protagonists and antagonists be mindful that using such devices can confuse an audience and indeed a script reader. Keep it simple is always the best policy.. The main thing you are after is to write a screenplay one which can be read within the industry and be used as a writing sample.. You want that sample to illustrate you can write a screenplay with all the basic conventions  and that you as a screenwriter understand those basic conventions before you start to break them. Don't get me wrong, a lot of screenplays and movies now use surrogate and shifting antagonists, it displays a deeper understanding and manipulation of story craft which at the same time stops relying on tried and tested cliches because movie audiences are starting to figure out what comes next or who the bad guy is and that in itself can be cliche so this is why some screenwriters and movie makers have decided to move away from the standard principles of a single protagonist and single antagonist plus it makes for a richer plot and story, especially when these aspects of characters and subplots are revealed to an audience.  But beware you don't get lost or confuse yourself in constructing a screenplay using such complicated devices..

I wouldn't have a surrogate protagonist because this is a "no no" in story-telling,.. These are called "allies".. You can have a surrogate antagonist or shape-shifter or tricksters who at first reads as a bad guy only to become an ally of the protagonist. But to have a surrogate protagonist means you are splitting important aspects of the plot which should be dictated by a single protagonist.

You can have multiple protagonists if you have multiple story lines and each has their own battle with their own antagonist but to force a surrogate protagonist into the final battle to defeat the antagonist means you are not only robbing your true protagonist of this (which it should be her doing this to achieve her character arc in the story) but also you will be cheating your audience who expect the protagonist herself to defeat the antagonist in any final battle you construct. That is the very essence of a screenplay story where you finally pair off the protagonist with the antagonist.

You obviously have your own reasons for wanting to use a surrogate protagonist but I would suggest this will be a major flaw in your script story and probably one which will cause Hollywood Studios a reason to reject or say "no" to optioning your script.

Think of it like this.. Say your script is optioned and the director casts Kate Beckinsale as the young girl your protagonist? *Imagine what she would say when she read the script and discovered another character defeated the antagonist. The actors/actresses who play the protagonist characters tend to be A List actors and they don't want another character stealing scenes or the ending or the limelight from them. Heroes win battles not surrogate protagonists. It *MUST* always be the hero.  Check out any story through time, in history, myth, novels, poetry and screenplays, it is *ALWAYS* the *HERO*..

Quoted from LKD Very wonderful replies and very helpful in me seeing this to the end. Thank you terribly for you words.

No problem.. If any of this helps you then that's what it is all about, you learning something from the exercise to help you become a better screenwriter..

Keep working on those loglines because your next step is producing a beatsheet based on Blake Snyder's Save the Cat method..


Kevan