Hi all,

I've been developing a new feature for almost a year now. So far, it's proven to be my most challenging writing endeavor yet, without question. I've previously taken measures to simplify the story and finally feel like I've found a reasonably strong base and a sense of direction to go on.

Going forward, my most pressing issue is the amount of dialogue. Unlike my previous scripts, I think this one's going to be on the low end of the dialogue spectrum with at least 25% less dialogue than the average film. So far, the story contains three characters, only two of whom I expect to talk at significant length with each other (these particular scenes will likely not make up the bulk of the script). Not that this is supposed to be silent or anything but I've sort of been thinking in those terms at this point.

Both the protagonist and antagonist will have substantial scenes where they are alone and the scenes when they are together will feature minimal dialogue, if any at all. Previously, the antagonist was meant to be totally mute but I've decided that would make the script almost impossible to write, at least with my skill level thus far. I have my reasons for choosing a mute character but I've since found a way to work around those constraints and include some dialogue from them.

I've developed both characters considerably on paper, especially in terms of internal conflict, but I think it's going to be difficult to bring it all out through actions alone. The protagonist has the third character to bounce off of but I want to avoid a foil-type situation and don't want to rely strictly on exposition to reveal character. I also want the protagonist to be a person of fewer words as I think it makes sense for who they're supposed to be.

As the antagonist was intended to be mute, I've developed them especially to reveal themselves through their actions but not everything about them is as easily illustrated that way.

I know I'm being vague with the plot details at this point, which probably doesn't help, but I'd like to keep it that way for now. Apologies, regardless. Any suggestions as to how to bring out bigger things without relying on dialogue? Sort of in a tough spot at this point.

Film is a visual medium.  Film without dialogue is an entirely visual experience and therefore film in it's purest sense.

As long as you impart the story in visual terms, you shouldn't have any problem because of the lack of dialogue.

However, remember that a spec script is the reading script - so make it fun to read but avoid pitfalls like camera directions and such.


(Just realized this message was posted by Mr. McClung who already knows the above -- so to answer his question)


Sometimes you can't do it in a single action, sometimes it takes several actions over time to explain something about a character visually.

i'd say rewatch The Artist with your goal in mind and take pointers from how they told their story so well.

Andrew, I think I will watch The Artist. It's far removed from what I'm after but it is indeed a feature length silent film. I think I've wracked my brain far too much on this project not to look into it.

Michael, indeed, I know exactly what you're saying and I've thought a lot about it, even whilst writing my first post. I'm actually sort of proud to have come to this point without consciously thinking about it.

Still, I am concerned that certain aspects of the story and characters are not totally lost on people. This has happened to me from time to time, usually when I opted to infer something rather than spell it out, which is extremely frustrating. I was actually sort of unconsciously influenced by a lot of silent/minimal dialogue films, like Nosfeatu, Female Vampire, and Kenneth Anger's films, which gave me some solid criteria to work with in terms of visual storytelling. Unfortunately, I'm not accustomed to actually writing in this style and as this particular script is considerably more "straightforward" than a Kenneth Anger film, the pressure's on to make sure certain things are communicated properly. This goes for plot and character elements.

I'm also very wary of how films like Drive are perceived nowadays. I think some things work wonders when they're understated but there's a fine line between that and just coming across as empty and boring.

Your second suggestion is a good one and I will heed it the best I can. I suppose I'm just elaborating on where my anxiety is coming from.

There's always going to be people who get what you're doing in a script as well as those who don't get it, especially when it's not spelled out for them.  You aren't going to please everyone - so - just write the script as you envision it and don't worry so much about everyone's reactions.   During the feedback phase, if people don't get things that you think they should then you can always tweak it in the rewrite.  You're a good writer and you definitely have the skill to pull something like this off, have confidence.  

A couple of other movies you can check out that don't have a lot of dialogue and so the action carries most of the script:  Cast Away and 127 Hours.  

Hey James - if you even have any pages written, I would be glad to read and help you out on this one.  After reading The Outsiders, I think you have potential to do some awesome work, you just have to really hit it this time.

I’ll recommend 2 movies for you.  Halloween 4:  The Return of Michael Myers and Halloween 5:  The Revenge of Michael Myers.  Watch them back to back, specifically examining H5 and how the director ruined a great character by making the main star a mute the entire duration of the film.

Quoted from James McClung I'm also very wary of how films like Drive are perceived nowadays. I think some things work wonders when they're understated but there's a fine line between that and just coming across as empty and boring..

Don’t be hatin on Drive.  

Hey James.

I can't remember where I heard this...

A scene in a film had to have an older couple show that they just don't click anymore.  To show their dysfunction, the original writer wrote two and a half pages of dialogue showing them not getting along and arguing.

Needing to cut fat and the actors weren't that great, they brought in a script doctor who simply changed the scene to something like this:

'An older HUSBAND and WIFE, regular dress attire for the times, walk onto an elevator.  They're silent as it goes down.

The elevator suddenly stops and opens.  A YOUNG WOMAN walks on.  The husband nods at the young woman and respectfully takes his hat off for the rest of the descent.

The wife notices and lowers her head.'


That example has helped me look for those powerful images and gestures that can speak volumes louder than words.

My guess to help you in this situation, is to look for those moments that you can add into the story.

But of course, that's only for your story, where it seems silence is necessary.  By all means, if a writer has a gift for dialogue, use it as much as you can.

Quoted from mcornetto There's always going to be people who get what you're doing in a script as well as those who don't get it, especially when it's not spelled out for them.  You aren't going to please everyone - so - just write the script as you envision it and don't worry so much about everyone's reactions.   During the feedback phase, if people don't get things that you think they should then you can always tweak it in the rewrite.

This is pretty much the mantra I've always followed and honestly, I can't imagine working any other way. Overtime, my writing's gotten a lot stranger and more complex. As a result, I've become a lot more critical of it but that all comes from a place of trying to have the end result come out as strong as possible.

Quoted from Guest Don’t be hatin on Drive.

LOL, dude. Drive is easily the best film of the 2010s thus far. Absolutely crushed! I'm just pointing out that a lot of people came down on it hard for its approach. I thought it was superb.

Quoted from rc1107 Hey James. I can't remember where I heard this... A scene in a film had to have an older couple show that they just don't click anymore.  To show their dysfunction, the original writer wrote two and a half pages of dialogue showing them not getting along and arguing. Needing to cut fat and the actors weren't that great, they brought in a script doctor who simply changed the scene to something like this: 'An older HUSBAND and WIFE, regular dress attire for the times, walk onto an elevator.  They're silent as it goes down. The elevator suddenly stops and opens.  A YOUNG WOMAN walks on.  The husband nods at the young woman and respectfully takes his hat off for the rest of the descent. The wife notices and lowers her head.' That example has helped me look for those powerful images and gestures that can speak volumes louder than words. My guess to help you in this situation, is to look for those moments that you can add into the story. But of course, that's only for your story, where it seems silence is necessary.  By all means, if a writer has a gift for dialogue, use it as much as you can.

I see where you're coming from here and indeed, I think it's a good example of how body language can indicate the nature of relationships. The relationships in my script have a lot more ups and downs and would be difficult to sum up in even a short string of moments though. It's going to take a calculated balance of dialogue and action to convey effectively. But what with the end of your post, I'm pretty sure we're on the same page.

Thanks for the suggestion.

James

There was a BBC drama a couple of years ago where the lead character was a deaf girl who witnessed a murder

They played up on the fact she could feel the vibration of music rather than hear it, largely through the beat/base. So she liked dance music when up, and slower music when down etc worked quite well.

I remember one scene where they had her in a night club, everyone dancing around, except her as she had her head to the speaker, lost in the beat. It was a good way to illustrate her isolation and how she dealt with it.

Best of luck.


Note - just googled it and its called 'the silence'. If in doubt use BBC drama, deaf girl.

I think - at the very least - it's a great exercise for improing your craft, because it forces you to concentrate on the visuals and tell your story from actions, and the nuances that help define performances. It will also curb any desire to lazily reveal through dialogue, which more often than not leads to unnecessary fat in a story.

If you need any eyes on it at any point, pop it over in email.

Terrence Malick does it brilliantly. Most of Sofia Coppola's work is sparse in dialogue, as well.

A script with minimal dialogue is going to be far shorter, but potentially a longer read, than say a normal script. So don't be daunted by it falling far below the 90-page industry norm.

The script for Sofia Coppola's Somewhere is only around 40 pages long, despite the actual film being around 90 minutes long.