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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  The use of " -- ". Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    The use of " -- ".  (currently 37938 views)
Demento
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 8:11pm Report to Moderator
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This is not really a big thing. I just wanted to get some opinions on the matter.

Now I read somewhere a long time ago that -- is used in screenwriting when an action gets interrupted. Usually in dialogue, but in action lines as well.

example:

                          JOHN
               I think that it's best we --

                          TOM
               -- NO! You don't, you don't think.
---------------------------------------

Or when it comes to action lines.
example:

John is on the floor, he reaches over grabs the knife, turns --

WHACK! He gets hit with a shovel.
-----------------------------------------

Now I read the original Sin City script a few days back. It uses -- in a different way.

example:
CRASH! -- COPS fall backward as -- MARV smashes through the DOOR -- splintering it --

BULLETS TEAR
-----------------------------------------

Sometimes I see it as a substitute for BEAT in dialogue

example:

                                   JOHN
                     I just don't know what to say -- it's
                     not easy -- it was never easy.
....................................................

What do you use it for? How do you use it? Do you use it at all?

Thoughts.

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Guest
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 8:16pm Report to Moderator
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We should ask Bert.  He uses -- a lot.


--Steve
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oJOHNNYoNUTSo
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 8:56pm Report to Moderator
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Double hyphens are a pronounced form of a colon. They are used in screenwriting often to communicate breaks in dialogue, action, etc.

Double hyphens draw more attention and urgency to what follows -- misuse is abuse.

Edit: I guess it's not technically called a double hyphen, but rather a dash.  

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oJOHNNYoNUTSo  -  March 16th, 2014, 9:08pm
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irish eyes
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 9:44pm Report to Moderator
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-- indicates a sudden shift or break in thought, or to show emphasis. It's used when one character interrupts another.

... is used for continuity. A character speaks, pauses, and then continues

Mark


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rendevous
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 9:50pm Report to Moderator
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I seem to recall there's em dash and en dash. The first has a space in it, the second doesn't. I would try and explain in detail but search engines do it so much better.

To be brief - (ahem)

Opinions vary, as always. One dash at the end of the sentence you're breaking early should suffice.

A single dash is also often used to when you're linking one action to another.

He throws the brick - the window smashes.

R


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The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

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bert
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 9:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Guest
We should ask Bert.  He uses -- a lot.


Haha...Yep, I just love them.  A technique I cribbed from W. Goldman, a man that I figure knows mostly what he is doing.  Some say I use it too much.  They may be right.

Plucking a random sentence from a recent script, I use 'em like this:

He walks with a cane -- it TAPS as he moves -- while white smoke curls up from the pipe clenched in his teeth.

But not in dialogue.  In dialogue...when breaking things up...you use an ellipse...which is three periods in a row.

Like everything, opinions will vary, but I think the double-dash is more accepted in screenwriting than any of its "em" or "en" counterparts.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Demento
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 10:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from bert

Plucking a random sentence from a recent script, I use 'em like this:

He walks with a cane -- it TAPS as he moves -- while white smoke curls up from the pipe clenched in his teeth.


I've seen it used like that. I like it, I breaks things up nicely, visually, better than a comma, in my opinion.

I've also seen the same thing in produced scripts but with ...


Quoted Text
He walks with a cane ... it TAPS as he moves ... while white smoke curls up from the pipe clenched in his teeth.
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 10:04pm Report to Moderator
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bert,

And (beat)?

I personally HATE (beat).

Would (--) or (...) be considered a better alternative?

Shawn.....><
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rendevous
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 10:11pm Report to Moderator
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Led,

I'm with you on (beat). Wank. Anything is better. I use the ellipsis in one sided phone conversations. Works well for me.

R




Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 10:19pm Report to Moderator
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I feel ya ren,

I also see where bert mentioned the propensity to over use one, once you find the one you like.

I get that.

In my last rewrite, it was pointed out to me the I used (...) like a thousand times.

I didn't see it till it was pointed out.

Forrest through the trees...

Shawn....><
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nawazm11
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 10:20pm Report to Moderator
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Johnny has it right on the money. It's used to soften the read and make the action keep flowing rather than feel stale or dense. Here's an example from the first page of Ion by Will Dunn, which was a huge huge influence in my writing.

"Tall, dark buildings -- no power. Some on FIRE, CRUMBLING. PEOPLE scatter in panic, DEBRIS spins up in the HOWLING WIND, BODIES lie in the wet gutter, lined with winter slush.

A Man stands, eyes searching the chaos -- he is sharp and soulful, but anxious. He looks up -- swirling, celestial lights FLICKER behind the low clouds."

Can you see how he puts emphasis on every new visual via hyphens and capped words? Some writers like to go further like your Sin City example where they start a new paragraph each time they want the reader's attention to shift to the next bit of action, it's usually used for scenes that should feel past paced and energetic. And honestly, it's just a way to make the read faster.
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bert
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 10:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Ledbetter
bert,

And (beat)?

I personally HATE (beat).

Would (--) or (...) be considered a better alternative?

Shawn.....><


At first glance, I thought you said you HATE (bert) haha.

Be that as it may, I also HATE (beat).

Never used it, never will.  Lazy and trite, IMO.  Anything is better.

You know who is nutty for ellipses?  Mamet.  He can't get enough of 'em.  So you are in good company, Led.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 10:42pm Report to Moderator
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Bobby looks at Karen

                BOBBY
Well, (bert) I think it's time I leave.


It could work...

Shawn....><
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LC
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 11:14pm Report to Moderator
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Probably been said, but I'll add my 2c.

En dashes ( – ) and em dashes ( — ), have slightly different uses. And, they shouldn't be confused with hyphens which are used to join words and to separate syllables of a single word

The em dash ( — ) or double en dash is used primarily when a thought is interrupted by another character butting in, or by a sound i.e., bang on the door etc. Technically an em dash is a wider line and more like the length of two dashes but most screenwriting software doesn't enable it, hence why you see so many scripts with two en dashes put together.

If you're a pedant, em dashes can actually be formatted in Final Draft but you need to enable it in every separate screenplay. Send me a PM if you really want to know how.

An ellipses is altogether different in purpose. It is used when a character's speech trails off. A lot of writers over use the ellipses, and a lot of writers use them incorrectly i.e., when they should be using an em dash.

Your screenplay will look cleaner if you get em' right, but the key is in being consistent with either/or.

When it comes down to it, nobody's going to give a hoot where you put your dots and dashes if your story jumps off the page but it's a good idea to know what's what.


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J.S.
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 11:20pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from irish eyes
-- indicates a sudden shift or break in thought, or to show emphasis. It's used when one character interrupts another.

... is used for continuity. A character speaks, pauses, and then continues

Mark


Almost completely agree with this. But I feel the need to modify it some based on how I understand it and use it.

-- generally indicates a break in thought/action or speech, in action or dialogue respectively, or to clarify something indicated in action.

... is used for continuity in dialogue.

-J.S.
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