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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  asides/unfilmables Moderators: George Willson
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 3:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from mmmarnie
I agree that the example given is a bit vague. I can't picture what that look is. I have a friend who every time he looks at me, I know he's picturing us having sex. Now I could just say he looks at me with lust...but that would be boring IMO.


Is it the boner that gives it away ?  


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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mmmarnie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 3:48pm Report to Moderator
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The boner and the Engelbert Humperdink expression. Maybe some drool too.


boop
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DustinBowcot
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from mmmarnie
I have a friend who every time he looks at me, I know he's picturing us having sex.


How do you know? Does he wink or lick his lips suggestively? Does he make barely perceptible humping movements with his hips? What are the tells to look out for when a guy is picturing having sex with you?
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Dreamscale
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
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mmmarnie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 3:55pm Report to Moderator
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It has something to do with his stare... like he's using x-ray vision. I'm not making this up. I feel naked when I'm around him. It's pretty impressive actually. I don't get flustered easily but he throws me off every time.


boop
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DustinBowcot
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 3:58pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah... I think I have that one down. Is it like a lingering stare that travels the length of your body, especially lingering at your assets?
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Penoyer79
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:00pm Report to Moderator
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most amateur scripts are written like a novels with stage direction....

which actually makes sense if you think about it. I mean, how many of us actually read screenplays before we started writing them? and how many of those screenplays we read were written incorrectly? probably all of them. we write what we know... and that is novels.

I understand why there is little patience for these things on this board... but I also understand how these mistakes are so easy to make.
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Dreamscale
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Penoyer79
most amateur scripts are written like a novels with stage direction....

which actually makes sense if you think about it. I mean, how many of us actually read screenplays before we started writing them? and how many of those screenplays we read were written incorrectly? probably all of them. we write what we know... and that is novels.

I understand why there is little patience for these things on this board... but I also understand how these mistakes are so easy to make.


Actually, when I decided to start screenwriting, I read numerous Pro scripts and then watched the DVD as I went along to see what was working, how, and why.  I did this long before I actualy tried to write a script myself.

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mmmarnie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:08pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
Yeah... I think I have that one down. Is it like a lingering stare that travels the length of your body, especially lingering at your assets?


My assets are hard to miss. That's where most guys go...but not this one. His wheels are spinning. But his stare does linger. Being an old broad now, I don't mind. Makes me think I still may have...something. LOL.



boop
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SAC
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:37pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from mmmarnie
It has something to do with his stare... like he's using x-ray vision. I'm not making this up. I feel naked when I'm around him. It's pretty impressive actually. I don't get flustered easily but he throws me off every time.


I get that stare from my dog when I'm eating steak.


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rendevous
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:40pm Report to Moderator
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I think you should buy a muzzle.

For the dog, I mean.

R


Out Of Character - updated


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stevie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:42pm Report to Moderator
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The choice of using them can depend on the kind of script you're writing too. By that I mean the genre especially if it's a fantasy or horror type story.

I chose to use some for my zombie script 'Fort Hell'. IMO, they didn't subtract or distract from the script.

It was funny though as one of the newer guys in here didn't realise I deliberately chose to use them for this particular script, lol. So I had to keep explaining to him that I knew how to actually write but had chosen this style for this script.

Shrugs....if you wanna use them, go for it.  A reader might resent them if it interfers with the flow too much or they might like it.

As the farmer said as he kissed the cow's arse - 'EACH TO HIS OWN!'




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mmmarnie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SAC


I get that stare from my dog when I'm eating steak.


Holy cr@p! That's the look!!



boop
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rendevous
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:50pm Report to Moderator
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You should also buy a muzzle.

Or a taser.

Not for the dog. He'd be happy with a biscuit.

R


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
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mmmarnie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:55pm Report to Moderator
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CLOSE on Tom, looking at Summer the way every woman wants to be looked at.

Or

CLOSE on Tom, looking at Summer like the way a dog stares at a steak.


boop
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