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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  asides/unfilmables Moderators: George Willson
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Forgive
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 4:58pm Report to Moderator
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Let The Sky Fall

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Quoted from mmmarnie


Holy cr@p! That's the look!!



He stares at her with the same look that his dog gives to him when he's eating steak. Nice. Filmable too.

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Dreamscale
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from mmmarnie
CLOSE on Tom, looking at Summer like the way a dog stares at a steak.



YES!!!  Perfect!!!

OR

CLOSE on Tom, as he drools, looking at Summer the way a dog stares at a steak....or the way a cat stares at a bird...or the way Stevie looks at all women, while wearing his short denim shorts.
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RayW
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:10pm Report to Moderator
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Freedom

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mmmarnie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale



YES!!!  Perfect!!!

OR

CLOSE on Tom, as he drools, looking at Summer the way a dog stares at a steak....or the way a cat stares at a bird...or the way Stevie looks at all women, while wearing his short denim shorts.


CLOSE on Tom, as he drools, looking at Summer who looks at Stevie, in his short denim shorts the way she looks at a plump, juicy hot dog before she takes her first bite.


boop
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stevie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:16pm Report to Moderator
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CLOSE on Jeff, looking at his newly acquired flock of sheep the way chicks around the world check out Aussie guys



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Dreamscale
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:30pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
CLOSE on Jeff, looking at his newly acquired flock of sheep the way chicks around the world check out Aussie guys



Nice!!  I love sheep!!  
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stevie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:45pm Report to Moderator
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CLOSE on Jeff as he cracks open a newbie script. He gazes at the fucked up first opening slug like the Niners D drool at the sight of a weakened Packer O line



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rendevous
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:45pm Report to Moderator
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Away

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Quoted from Dreamscale
Nice!!  I love sheep!!


I think we've always suspected as much.

Do you need a muzzle?

R


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
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stevie
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 5:46pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from rendevous


I think we've always suspected as much.

Do you need a muzzle?

R


He takes the muzzle off, RV. It's easier for the sheep to kiss him




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Dreamscale
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 7:25pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie


He takes the muzzle off, RV. It's easier for the sheep to kiss him



No muzzles...I like 'em natural!

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TimWestland
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 7:35pm Report to Moderator
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The author of Jowls started out doing this in a fun way... then quickly beat the shit out of the concept. What a waste.

A little goes a long way.

Use it sparingly and you create a voice.

Use it too much and you end up with a tiresome script which draws attention to the writer at the expense of the story.
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Dreamscale
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 8:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from TimWestland
The author of Jowls started out doing this in a fun way... then quickly beat the shit out of the concept. What a waste.

A little goes a long way.

Use it sparingly and you create a voice.

Use it too much and you end up with a tiresome script which draws attention to the writer at the expense of the story.


I agree, Tim, and that's really my overall point about staying the fuck away from them

In terms of Jowls, I guess it depends on exactly what you mean by "started out doing this in a fun way...then quickly beat the shit out of the concept" - because, again, I agree, but for me, it was really, really quickly that it got annoying, and the fact that so little was going on, made it all the more apparent.
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oJOHNNYoNUTSo
Posted: April 14th, 2014, 8:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from TimWestland
The author of Jowls started out doing this in a fun way... then quickly beat the shit out of the concept. What a waste.

A little goes a long way.

Use it sparingly and you create a voice.

Use it too much and you end up with a tiresome script which draws attention to the writer at the expense of the story.


I just pictured you saying this on the Food Network.
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