Quoted from Dreamscale Dave, you're probably going to want to kill me after reading this, but here's my response. First of all, I am very against using INT/EXT, as I feel it's lazy writing. It's really the opposite extreme of trying to direct in your writing. Secondly, 1 of my many Pet Peeves is when peeps use EXT CAR as their Slug.  Is the location ever really "EXT CAR"?  The only times I can think of would be if you're showing something happening on a car, outside, like 2 insects fighting on thehood of a car.  The car is not the scene location, it's simply something in the scene, in whatever location it happens to be in  Does that make sense? When you have someone driving a car, you have 2 options - showing what's going on inside the car, or showing the car driving along, but as the car drives, it's actually in a location somewhere, which is what the Slug hould actually be. EXAMPLE... EXT. HIGHWAY 550 - NIGHT A dark, snowy two lane road snakes back and forth through snow covered trees. A single car on the road comes into view. It's a four door white Jeep. INT. JEEP - CONTINUOUS Danny drives while Carlie rides shotgun. BLAH BLAH BLAH.............. Now, in your example, you have several things going on at once, but it sounds like the key is that Emily sees certain things outside her car as she drives.  There are numerous ways to shoot this, and it's not going to be your choice, so IMO, the clean, easy, simple way is to write this with 2 different Slugs - kind of like I did - 1 showing the car driving, and the other, showing Emily inside.  Once inside, she'll look out and see...whatever...but you can write this inside the car still, as that wil show both Emily looking at it, and whatever she's looking at.  You just have to clarify by saying something like, "Emily looks to her right and sees Jason Voorhees behead a hot college coed.  She turns to her left, sees Michael Myers stab a scantily clad young hottie..." That way, it's completely clear to your readers and the Director has the choice of filming this any way he chooses...but...whichever way he does choose will not effect the story 1 bit. Make sense?

Would never want to kill you - unless I was writing a horror script of course  

First - on the use of EXT/INT:

I used that approach because several sources I have researched indicated you can not use a secondary scene heading (in the example I posted, the secondary scene heading was COFFEE SHOP - OUTDOOR SEATING) if you are changing from INT. to EXT (or vice versa). They recommended that if you want to use a secondary scene heading in these instances the master scene heading should be INT/EXT.

Now, back to the future. The way I originally had the scene structure was something akin to:

INT. CONVERTIBLE TRAVELING DOWN CITY STREET (LOS ANGELES) - DAY

EMILY, attractive (35) with short blonde drives as she softly sings a love song playing on the car radio.

She arrives at a stop light, looks out the passenger window and sees a YOUNG WOMAN angrily tossing a bouquet of roses at a YOUNG MAN.  

YOUNG WOMAN

You expect me to forgive you for
cheating on me because you gave me
roses?

YOUNG MAN
It was just the one time. I swear I
won't do it again.

YOUNG WOMAN
It was my sister!

Emily quickly turns away and hits the button to raise the
convertible's roof.

The feedback I got on the above was that I at point Emily looks at the YOUNG MAN/WOMAN the shot changed and I needed to tell the reader where the YOUNG MAN/WOMAN were. Hence the use of the secondary scene heading (COFFEE SHOP - OUTDOOR SEATING) and the INT/EXT master scene heading because the action with Emily was inside her car and the action with the couple was outside the car.

Anyway, I understand your recommendation, you think it should be something akin to:

EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES STREET - DAY

A business district with plenty of traffic. Tall buildings abound. A convertible, top down, comes into view.

INT. CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS

EMILY STANTON (35), attractive, short blonde hair, sings along with a love song playing on the radio.

She arrives at a stop light, looks to her right and sees a YOUNG WOMAN angrily tossing a bouquet of roses at a YOUNG MAN.  

YOUNG WOMAN

You expect me to forgive you for
cheating on me because you gave me
roses?

YOUNG MAN
It was just the one time. I swear I
won't do it again.

YOUNG WOMAN
It was my sister!

Emily quickly turns away and hits the button to raise the
convertible's roof.......

Is this the approach you are recommending? Note: I like it - just not sure that I'm not violating another rule by not having a secondary scene heading for where the YOUNG/MAN woman are.

Sorry to be thick headed about this. I am sure it most be simpler than I am making it.

Quoted from Dreamscale As long as what you used "appears" to be correct...or could be correct, and it's easy to follow, you're golden.

And that's where I am in this particular example. Thanks!

Dave, your example brings a few 'sticky grey areas" into the equation.

Check this out...

First of all, when you have a convertible, you're in a grey area, because, in theory, INT means inside something and EXT means you're outside - it really has to do with lighting for the shot...what's required for an INT shot or an EXT shot, as well as your available options for where and how to film it.

Secondly, and not completely correct, is the writer's assumption, and recommendation of where the camera is going to be to film this shot or scene. Know what I'm saying?

If you're in a "standard" vehicle, the shot is going to be from inside the vehicle, filming what's inside the vehicle.  In an "open" convertable, everything inside the vehicle is also in view if you film outsdie the vehicle....even a camera attached to the door or anywhere for that matter.

The fact that you want dialogue from the city street to come into play...and not just some passing dialogue, but an actual little mini scene between 2 peeps outside the convertible, makes it even more difficult.  It's a tough scene to film and get right, and it's also a tough scene to break down on how to write it "correctly".  It will come down to the Director's choice, and IMO, it will be several shots all put together - it's unlikely it will be filmed in 1 take from 1 camera.

In your example and based on what you're saying, it sounds like whoever critiqued you was thinking that you had to or wanted to show Emily's POV, without using a POV.  Understand?  When you change scenes here to the EXT STREET scene, it's as if Emily is watching this take place.

But, you can also show this exact same thing from within Emily's car, as long as it's clear...as in you say something like "Emily watches outside on the street...whatever, as a chick kicks a guy in the balls...".

You're right about "MASTER SCENE HEADINGS".  They're basicallly the Full Slug we're in, and if you change it, you can't use a Mini, as it's likely it's a brand new shot requiring a brand new setup and very possibly different requirements to make the shot work.

But again, as I said earlier, and I really mean this - if it's easy to follow and makes sense, no big deal.  I'll preface this last comment by adding, "as long as you understand what you're doing and why you're doing it".

Tough one, here, but hopefully what I said does make sense to you.  It could go several ways and each could be "correct", or at least not "incorrect", but there are also several ways that would be incorrect.

Anyone else want to jump in and give their view?

Thanks again Dreamscale - yes, the POV issue was what was raised by an earlier review and I think it is a very valid comment. You are right in that it is very confusing as I seem to have introduced many moving parts into this scene. I am going with the following (below) for now and make corrections later.

EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES STREET - DAY

A business district with plenty of traffic. Tall buildings abound. A convertible, top down, comes into view.

INT. CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS

EMILY STANTON (35), attractive, short blonde hair, sings along with a love song playing on the radio. She arrives at a stop light, looks to her right and sees a

COFFEE SHOP - OUTDOOR SEATING

A YOUNG MAN hands a bouquet of roses to a YOUNG WOMAN.

YOUNG WOMAN
You expect me to forgive you for cheating on me because you gave me roses?

YOUNG MAN
It was just the one time. I swear I won't do it again.
The young woman stands and angrily tosses the bouquet back into the young man's chest.

YOUNG WOMAN
It was my sister!
The young woman spins and turns her back to the young man,  

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)
What are you staring at, bitch?

CONVERTIBLE
Emily quickly turns away and hits a button on her dashboard. The convertible's roof slowly arches towards the front windshield..

You're INT. for the vehicle even if your hood's down as you've specified the hood's down.

Second example only misses the POV, which is needed to avoid confusion. The POV can be descriptive, but the description is contained within the estabishing shot, so you're good there.

The 'camera' in effect does not change location from the car as the action is passenger side, so is viable - audible and visible - from the camera's (Emily's) current location. POV suffices.

OK, as written, no big deal, but let's all understand that there are still "issues" with the way you're choosing to write it...because...

You start with a Master heading that's EXT of this Downtown street.  Then you go to an INT scene in the convertible, and then, you go with a Mini that's both EXT and you decide to give it a new more exact heading, "COFFEE SHOP - OUTDOOR SEATING", which IMO, isn't remotely necessary, and then...back to another Mini, which is INT...inside the convertible.  Not correct, striclty speaking.

You really shouldn't use Mini's to go from INT to EXT scenes, as INT and EXT, again, are used for lighting and what's needed between the 2 different scenes.  As written, this is several shots, each of which is a complete setup.  That could be how it's done, but there is a much simpler way.

One more thing to bring up, which may bring in some more peeps' feedback...

When you write "Emily Sees", or even "Emily hears", what you're inferring is a shot of Emily's face, and then what it is she hears or sees.  But, assuming Emily is right there, which she is, it's understood, unless she's deaf or blind, that she'll see and hear this stuff, just like we will.  Thus, it's usually unecessary, unless you really want to show her seeing and/or hearing, for dramatic purposes....usually used in horror movies to show emtion.  If we don't need to really see her seeing or hearing, skip those usually wasted words.

Word out...  

Quoted from Dreamscale OK, as written, no big deal, but let's all understand that there are still "issues" with the way you're choosing to write it...because... You start with a Master heading that's EXT of this Downtown street.  Then you go to an INT scene in the convertible, and then, you go with a Mini that's both EXT and you decide to give it a new more exact heading, "COFFEE SHOP - OUTDOOR SEATING", which IMO, isn't remotely necessary, and then...back to another Mini, which is INT...inside the convertible.  Not correct, striclty speaking. You really shouldn't use Mini's to go from INT to EXT scenes, as INT and EXT, again, are used for lighting and what's needed between the 2 different scenes.  As written, this is several shots, each of which is a complete setup.  That could be how it's done, but there is a much simpler way. One more thing to bring up, which may bring in some more peeps' feedback... When you write "Emily Sees", or even "Emily hears", what you're inferring is a shot of Emily's face, and then what it is she hears or sees.  But, assuming Emily is right there, which she is, it's understood, unless she's deaf or blind, that she'll see and hear this stuff, just like we will.  Thus, it's usually unecessary, unless you really want to show her seeing and/or hearing, for dramatic purposes....usually used in horror movies to show emtion.  If we don't need to really see her seeing or hearing, skip those usually wasted words. Word out...

Thanks Dream - you will find that one of my gifts is that every time I fix a mistake - I create a new one to replace it  

Quoted from eldave1 Thanks Dream - you will find that one of my gifts is that every time I fix a mistake - I create a new one to replace it

You and I both, bro.     Good stuff.

I hope you know what I say is what I truly believe in and try to practice.  No one gets it right 100% of the time...well,,,maybe Stevie in his short 80's denim shorts, but that's hard to compete with.  

So many things can be done so many different ways...and IMO, the key is to do them in a way that doesn't send up any red flags, and once you have your readers' attention and respect, it's all gravy from there on out.

Key is, don't fuck up on your first page...EVER!  If you can go errorless or close with your first 10, you're pretty much golden.

Thanks much - appreciate the guidance

Quoted from Dreamscale "..,and then, you go with a Mini that's both EXT and you decide to give it a new more exact heading, "COFFEE SHOP - OUTDOOR SEATING", which IMO, isn't remotely necessary..."

But, up to this point, the reader/viewer didn't know where the exchange Emily sees was taking place. Doesn't he need this heading? In some form?

Most of my locations, if not all, from my recent short have been switched out for something else. Even outdoor locations have become indoor locations. I originally had a gang in a park, now they are a gang in a pub.

As with eldave's scene... it could be that when it comes time to film, she simply walks down the street... or she could see all of that on the way from the car park to her office.

Quoted from Forgive You're INT. for the vehicle even if your hood's down as you've specified the hood's down. Second example only misses the POV, which is needed to avoid confusion. The POV can be descriptive, but the description is contained within the estabishing shot, so you're good there. The 'camera' in effect does not change location from the car as the action is passenger side, so is viable - audible and visible - from the camera's (Emily's) current location. POV suffices.

So, you're saying this?

EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES STREET - DAY

A business district with plenty of traffic. Tall buildings abound. A convertible, top down, comes into view.

INT. CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS

EMILY STANTON (35), attractive, short blonde hair, sings along with a love song playing on the radio. She arrives at a stop light and looks to her right.  

EMILY POV

a coffee shop with outdoor seating. A YOUNG MAN hands a bouquet of roses to a YOUNG WOMAN.

YOUNG WOMAN
You expect me to forgive you for cheating on me because you gave me roses?

YOUNG MAN
It was just the one time. I swear I won't do it again.
The young woman stands and angrily tosses the bouquet back into the young man's chest.

YOUNG WOMAN
It was my sister!
The young woman spins and turns her back to the young man,  

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)
What are you staring at, b****?

CONVERTIBLE
Emily quickly turns away and hits a button on her dashboard. The convertible's roof slowly arches towards the front windshield.

Quoted from DustinBowcot Most of my locations, if not all, from my recent short have been switched out for something else. Even outdoor locations have become indoor locations. I originally had a gang in a park, now they are a gang in a pub. As with eldave's scene... it could be that when it comes time to film, she simply walks down the street... or she could see all of that on the way from the car park to her office.

Interesting thought. It could be that when a scene becomes too complicated to write, in some  cases it is the scene that should simplified. I'll look at that angle.

Dustin - on a side note: On this journey to enhance formatting, I read several screenplays. One of them was "Repercussions." There was a lot of good stuff there. Anyway, I jotted down some story notes as I read it. I don't know if you are still working on that project or not. If you are and are interested in the notes, I can type them up and send them to you.

Dave, you can write the scene as you did here, without even using the POV.

You can also write it without using the Slug CONVERTIBLE, as the Convertible will be part of...or in...the master Slug - EXT DOWNTOWN STREET.  And, since it's a Convertible, you cna film /show whatever you want, without actually being "INT" - or inside the COnvertible.

You also don't need to reset your scene with the coffee shop place, as it isn't important and it's also going to be within and part of the master Slug.

Finally, IMO, what throws this scene off is the dialogue between the man and woman - first of all, it isn't needed, and secondly, it's insanely cheesy and cliche.  If you really want dialogue, just have Emily catch 1 line from either - the rest is already assumed and again, unimportant overall.

Does that help?

Interrupting for a random thought:

I was curious about the slugs for "Birdman," nominated for Best Screenplay, because (if I have this right)  it appears to be (but isn't)  all one take.

So I peeked -- it's posted on SS -- and read only far enough  to answer my question: If the movie appears to be one take, without delineated scenes, would the script have any slugs at all?

The answer, as you might guess, is Yes. The slugs looks normal ( pending a read from Jeff, of course).