Too much for me would be like...

Quoted Text INT. KITCHEN - DAY A coffee pot on the stove, a cat near the door, and some newspapers on the table.  A spoon teeters on the edge of a tabletop.

Pointless bullshit which we don't need to know.

Another example:

Quoted Text INT. KITCHEN - DAY Mike scratches his nose.  He walks to the door, reaches out for the handle, turns the handle, opens the door

You know what I mean, people trying to choreograph every single movement of a particular character.

You could've just put Mike scratches his nose.  He opens the door.

If you're trying to create suspense tho, write it like that:

Mike reaches for the door.  His hand trembles as it wraps around the handle.

You write it depending on what image you want to create.  If there's no impending doom involved and you don't need to build up the suspense of a particular action, why over-do it? Just put Mike opens the door.

I like that the spoon teeters on the tabletop. I think that makes for an excellent visual. That's what we're building here. The teetering spoon could be the perfect talisman of what's to come.

Quoted from DustinBowcot I like that the spoon teeters on the tabletop. I think that makes for an excellent visual. That's what we're building here. The teetering spoon could be the perfect talisman of what's to come.

I just made that up on the spot, lol.

Yeah, it's okay, but what I'm saying is, don't put unnecessary detail in unless you're trying to create an atmosphere sort of thing.

We don't need to know the exact size of the room, how far apart the dishwasher and the cooker are ect.

LOL.

I think people really had some great answers here.

I'm learning this too.  I think all screenwriters do.  

I think if you can film it, and it should be there, then it should be there.  I will cite a few ex.

Someone said something about a table made from Cherry wood.
Do we NEED to know what the table is made from?  Does it play any role?  You don't need to describe everything either.

You don't need to say "Bob walks into the bathroom, takes off his Pj's, takes a pee, starts the shower, then hops in."

You could skip all of that unless say, it's a murder scene and then, you'd rewrite that to be tension filled.

So, ask yourself these questions:
1.  Is it important to the story in any way?  even if the table gets smashed, do we need to know it's made from cherry wood?

2.  Can it be filmed?  These are called asides.  Some hate them.  A few can enhance a scene.  Saying "Bob wonders if he's the next to die" can't be filmed.  How do you show that?  You could say "Bob stands in the mirror, stares deep and long, wondering if he's next."  That lets the director and writer know the motivation.

As Bert said, it's variable.  But, those 2 rules are vital.

Remember, prose can be 500 pages.  NO ONE can write a 500 page script.  So, each word counts b/c it takes away from another word later on.  You only have 120 pages (average).  that isn't a lot sometimes.

Dan

Quoted from DanC Someone said something about a table made from Cherry wood. Do we NEED to know what the table is made from?  Does it play any role?

I think cherry wood is fine. It tells me something about the owner of the desk.

I was just comparing two drafts of 1989 BATMAN.  This is the intro of the first and fifth drafts.  They mainly say the same thing, but it's interesting to see just how much they cut between drafts.

1st draft:

EXT. CITYSCAPE - NIGHT

     The place is Gotham City. The time, 1987 -- once removed.

     The city of Tomorrow: stark angles, creeping shadows,
     dense, crowded, airless, a random tangle of steel and
     concrete, self-generating, almost subterranean in its
     aspect... as if hell had erupted through the sidewalks and
     kept on growing. A dangling fat moon shines overhead, ready
     to burst.

     EXT. CATHEDRAL - NIGHT

     Amid the chrome and glass sits a dark and ornate Gothic
     anomaly: old City Cathedral, once grand, now abandoned --
     long since boarded up and scheduled for demolition.

     On the rooftop far above us, STONE GARGOYLES gaze down from
     their shadowy, windswept perches, keeping monstrous watch
     over the distant streets below, sightless guardians of the
     Gotham night.

     One of them is moving.

     EXT. GOTHAM SQUARE - NIGHT

     The pulsing heart of downtown Gotham, a neon nightmare of
     big-city corruption, almost surreal in its oppressiveness.
     Hookers wave to drug dealers. Street hustlers slap high-
     fives with three-card monte dealers. They all seem to know
     each other... with one conspicuous exception:

     A TOURIST FAMILY, Mom, Dad, and little Jimmy, staring
     straight  ahead as they march in perfect lockstep down the
     main drag. They've just come out of a bit show two blocks
     over; the respectable theatre crowd has thinned out, and
     now -- Playbills in hand -- they find themselves adrift in
     the predatory traffic of Gotham's meanest street.


Now, the 5th draft:

EXT. CITYSCAPE - NIGHT

        Gotham City.  The City of Tomorrow:  stark angles,
        creeping shadows, dense, crowded, as if hell had erupted
        through the sidewalks.  A dangling fat moon shines
        overhead.

        EXT. GOTHAM SQUARE - NIGHT

        PUSHERS wave to HOOKERS.  STREET HUSTLERS slap high-fives
        with three-card monte dealers.  They all seem to know
        each other... with one conspicuous exception:

        A TOURIST FAMILY, MOM, DAD, AND LITTLE JIMMY, march
        warily down the main drag.  Just out of a show.  But the
        respectable theatre crowd has thinned out, and now --
        Playbills in hand -- they're on Gotham's meanest street.

Quoted from eldave1 Mr. Dragon: the thread Pia listed is valuable is well is just Googling the subject. I would add this. - Always ask yourself three questions. (1) Is the detail necessary for some plot element in the story? (2) Is the detail already in the scene heading (3) Can the reader actually see the detail - if not, nuke it. An example of applying these guidelines: INT. KITCHEN - DAY Dragon sits at a oval, cherry wood, kitchen table given to him by his children on his birthday. If the fact that the table is oval, made of cherry wood is not relevant to some plot point then neither are the details. you can just write: Dragon sits at a table. Now - if Dragon were going to stare at his reflection on the table - then a detail like it was glossy or polished would be relevant. You won't need to add the detail that it is in the kitchen because the location is already in the scene heading and you can't write that it was given to him by his children because their is no way to see or hear that if it is in your description. You'll have to handle that through dialogue. There are always exceptions - I have read instances where all of the above guidelines were violated and it was just fine for some reason. But if you are just starting out at this - practice adherence to brevity and then expand from there when you think it is stylistically important. Lastly - you can always post some brief samples of your stuff here and I am sure you will get folks to weigh in with specific recommendations.

Exactly. Unless you need the detail later on or need it for tone, don't write it. Transformers has a lot of detail that is used later on and some for fun, like the BEEOTCH air freshener in Bumble Bee, and the "to punish and enslave" writing on the police mustang.

I read a script critique once about a writer who wrote in great lenght about a bar her character went into. Outside to inside. 4-wheel drive trucks with gunracks outside, men in plaid shirts, cowboy boots, and rodeo buckles inside. Lots of writing, several paragraphs worth, a couple pages. How was it solved? It was all reduced to a slug.

EXT. REDNECK BAR - DAY

That says it all. After that image was set the writing moved the story along. If you stop to describe everything, you stop the story (and your reader). Redneck bar may not invoke the same image but it should invoke an image (unless your reader doesn't know what a redneck is but write for the learned not the unlearned.) The art director takes it from there. If you can use a word that invokes tone, use it. Stereotype it. Flamboyant gay. Black ops. Crack whore. Socal beach. Techno dance club. Rain forest. DNA lab. Lab fit for Frankestien. Star Wars.

People who read your stuff watch movies so you have a large resevoir to draw word images from.

Words mean everything and less is more.

Quoted from DanC Hi there,      One of the biggest issues that I face in screenwriting is something that I think a lot of people new to the ways of screenwriting face. How much is too much for description.  I'm asking more then I'm telling.   I've learned that the only time you really talk about the surroundings are when something is different. So, if I say: INT.  BOB'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT Bob walks into his kitchen which is a standard 3 piece of a stove, fridge, table with 3 chairs. That's considered too much info, right?  But, if I was to say: INT. BOB'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT Bob walks into his kitchen and looks at his broken fridge then stares at his huge table with ten chairs. That's okay b/c it's unusual, is that correct? Incidentally, how would you describe people dressed in armor, say during the medieval times? Would Fighters dressed in standard Chain Mail armor be okay?  Or is that too much?  Or do you need to clarify b/c they could be dressed in Chain, Half-Plate, Plate, or Full-Plate armor? And say a mage wears all magical items on their person.  Would you give a run down like: And X stands attention, ready for battle in his bracers, cloak, shin pads, and focus crown, all of which are magical.   Is what I wrote above too much?  What do you guys do when you want to describe something along those lines? What is your general rule for how deep you take it? Same with buildings.  Is it okay to say a street with many run down buildings, but, one in particular seems worse then the others?   Or the nicest house on a run down street, but, not good enough to be confused with a nice house. I guess I'm looking for specific how do you deal with description issues.   Lastly, any fantasy or sci-fi geeks out there?  How would you deal with how a wormhole or parallel dimension door looks like?  Or Hpyerspace?  Or Warp space?   Thanks Mods, if this is in the wrong spot, feel free to move it. Thanks again in advance, You guys are awesome. Dan

If I were to describe a medieval knight, I would just say medieval knight, or what ever they are (case in point, the word "soldier" and the word "knight" invoke different images in my mind even when coupled with the word "medieval." I would not use "soldier" unless the time period warrants. North American Indians had warriors who fought blue coat soldiers. Rome had soldiers who fought barbarians, and of course there are soldiers on soldiers, army versus army, legions - way cool word - versus peasants. In the right scenario the word "legions" is better than the wrod "soldiers").

If one side had metal armor and the other leather armor, then I would write it because I can see it and think the leather armor dude hasn't got a chance against the metal armor dude. I would not worry about what type of metal because the word "medieval" invokes an image. It is however just as easy to write "plate mail" or "chain mail" as it is metal but I would write no further as those words create the image.

I don't know what a Mage is but if a Mage normally carries magic vessels, then just write Mage. Whoever reads your story will know this. However, knowing not all (who read) know what a Mage is I would write "...a MAGE (sorcerer/magician/whatever)..." That's it. I care about what is going on, what is said, what happens. Reveal what the Mage carries as the story progresses. The Mage throws a bolt of lightening, or the Mage cast a spell of sleep, the Mage pitches a potion of invisibility, etc. I don't need to know the vessel of the spell or charm. Not writing about something doesn't mean the required set piece is not there.

Quoted from cloroxmartini ... and think the leather armor dude hasn't got a chance against the metal armor dude.

Reminds me of the Battle of Agincourt... not that I was there, or anything. The French Armour was so heavy that despite their vastly superior numbers, the lighter armoured English longbowmen were able to defeat them.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Agincourt

Quoted from DustinBowcot Reminds me of the Battle of Agincourt... not that I was there, or anything. The French Armour was so heavy that despite their vastly superior numbers, the lighter armoured English longbowmen were able to defeat them. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Agincourt

Lumbering knights in plate mail armor swarmed by the leather armored hoard like ants over a watermelon.